re: Never been pregnant

Yes I have done 5 IUIs and am going to a new RE next month. I do have a daughter bc I adopted her. Being able to have at least one kid in your life is better than none at all. You have more than I do. Yes I do love my adopted daughter but not ever being able to get pregnant is a huge loss that most people do not understand.

Quoting CLC:" Yes I have done 5 IUIs and am going to a new RE next month. I do have a daughter bc I adopted her. Being ... [snip!] ... Yes I do love my adopted daughter but not ever being able to get pregnant is a huge loss that most people do not understand."

We have more than you do? Hunny, my baby died.

Cherish what you have.

Quoting CLC:" Yes I have done 5 IUIs and am going to a new RE next month. I do have a daughter bc I adopted her. Being ... [snip!] ... Yes I do love my adopted daughter but not ever being able to get pregnant is a huge loss that most people do not understand."

Wow that really sounded horrible. Being biologically linked to a child doesn't have anything to do with it. Being pregnant sucks. It is the time and energy you up in to raising a child that makes them yours. I know plenty of people who could never have kids and they never got the opportunity to adopt either. Get over yourself. We all have a reason to be jealous of some one else and we all have a reason to be thankful for what we have over some one else.

Quoting CLC:" Yes I have done 5 IUIs and am going to a new RE next month. I do have a daughter bc I adopted her. Being ... [snip!] ... Yes I do love my adopted daughter but not ever being able to get pregnant is a huge loss that most people do not understand."

Who are you referring to? So having one child is better than none even though that child died? So I still have more than you even though you have a daughter and I have no living children?

Quoting CLC:" Yes I have done 5 IUIs and am going to a new RE next month. I do have a daughter bc I adopted her. Being ... [snip!] ... Yes I do love my adopted daughter but not ever being able to get pregnant is a huge loss that most people do not understand."

But you do have a child that loves you. She may not have come from your womb but you are Mommy. Do you think you would love your biological child differently?

I understand that you feel you have lost something by not being able to conceive BUT you have been given the opportunity to still be a Mom. Some people don't even have that.

I really wish the best for you but holding it against others for what they have will not change anything. GL to you, I truly mean that.

Although I would do just about anything to have Hope back, I would trade all three of my early losses for a living, breathing child whether I gave birth to him/her or not. I completely understand the pain of infertility. Sometimes it helps to remember that another person's journey is not our own and even if their experiences are different, their pain is just as real.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Amelia Margaret:</b>" Although I would do just about anything to have Hope back, I would trade all three of my early losses ... [snip!] ... remember that another person's journey is not our own and even if their experiences are different, their pain is just as real."</blockquote>


I would agree that the pain of infertility is the same is not ever having a biological child. Yes I will live my adopted daughter the same. I'm just saying having previous children and then having problems TTC is different then never being able to conceive. Period that's it!

Quoting bbbt:" We have more than you do? Hunny, my baby died. Cherish what you have. "

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that  

OP some people would DIE to be able to afford to even adopt a child and here you are complaining about the fact you cant conceive when you have a perfect child at home who loves YOU.
Do you think it would be fair to someone who wants to adopt but can't afford it to see you sit here and count your losses instead of your blessings?

Be happy that you have at least one child. You say it's a huge loss not being able to conceive but imagine what this woman had to go through to have her child and then lose them.

Quoting CLC:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Amelia Margaret:</b>" Although I would do just about anything ... [snip!] ... saying having previous children and then having problems TTC is different then never being able to conceive. Period that's it!"

So you honestly think not being able to conceive is worse then having the feeling of carrying your child and then losing them?

Quoting CLC:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Amelia Margaret:</b>" Although I would do just about anything ... [snip!] ... saying having previous children and then having problems TTC is different then never being able to conceive. Period that's it!"

How would you know?

I dont know exactly what you are going through but you dont know what I feel either. SO and I have NO children together, so IMO its the same.

The pain of not being able to conceive is the same, Because my ex and I have children my SO and I should not be able to have one? And I shouldnt be hurt or upset because of this? C'mon!

Thats just ignorant

Quoting CLC:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Amelia Margaret:</b>" Although I would do just about anything ... [snip!] ... saying having previous children and then having problems TTC is different then never being able to conceive. Period that's it!"

I have struggled with understanding the pain of secondary infertility myself, but I've now talked to enough women experiencing it to know they hurt just as much as I do. I have been where you are, thinking they don't have it nearly so bad after having a child of their own. But at the same time, I could look at you with your beautiful daughter and think the same thing. You have more than I do, but does that make you hurt any less?

I agree though that adoption is not a cure for infertility.

Quoting saageex3:" I'm so sorry that you had to go through that   OP some people would DIE to be able to afford to ... [snip!] ... it's a huge loss not being able to conceive but imagine what this woman had to go through to have her child and then lose them."

To be fair, her pain is real too.

Quoting Amelia Margaret:" To be fair, her pain is real too."

I didn't say her wasn't but she is acting like no one elses is.

Quoting CLC:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Amelia Margaret:</b>" Although I would do just about anything ... [snip!] ... saying having previous children and then having problems TTC is different then never being able to conceive. Period that's it!"

And who are you to decide this? What about people who long for a baby of a certain sex? Is their pain less after the 5,8,10th baby of the opposite sex that they want? What about women who have kids that die (even if they lived for 18+ years)and then they have a hard time getting pregnant again? Who are you to choose whose pain is worse? Who are you to say they should just be happy or they just don't understand? You who has a perfectly happy, healthy little girl at home.

I can slightly understand how you feel. I was never angry or jealous when my infertile friends got pregnant; I was happy for them, I never felt an ounce of jealousy.

It took me 2.5 years to get pregnant with my first child, I did Clomid and IUI. With the baby I'm pregnant with right now we TTC'ed for 2 years and 7 months, we had 3 failed IUI cycles and we were told we had to move onto IVF to get pregnant. I ended up getting pregnant on my own naturally. Just because you haven't had a child biologically doesn't mean I don't understand your pain. One thing I hate about infertility is how women turn it into a contest of who hurts more, and how you're magically not infertile once you get pregnant.