I dated a guy for nearly two and a half years. It destoryed me. I'll never get the confidence and self worth he tore from me back. He was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
He was so controlling and abusive. I don't know why I let him do the things he did. He would scream at me for hanging out with other people or if I talked to a male. He made me cry because I hugged my best friend of the same gender. If I would not answer the phone he would call over and over again leaving angry messages. If I did not call him when he wanted me to same thing.
He accused me of cheating on him constantly. He told me how horrible I was and no one could ever love me if I left. He pushed me in to walls, ripped head phones from my ears, screamed in my face. I lost my virginity to him because I was scared that if I didn't sleep with him that he would rape me. I had sex with him whenever he wanted to aviod the anger.
I'm finally in a happy healthy relationship, why do I still think about all the smurf he pulled me through? Why can't I just let it go.
It's been almost 8 years since I last seen the abusive POS that is my ex and I still think about the things he did to me. But I have learned that not every man is like that and I'll never let anyone treat me like that again. It took a while to gain any sort of self confidence back. But just remember, he only told you those things to keep you scared and submissive, because if you grew any balls, you'd leave him all alone. He was trying to push his insecurities onto you.
I have been in an extremely verbally and physically abusive relationship. It have been seven years since I left his ass. I STILL think about it. But I do not let what I went through effect me. I do not let it stop me from being happy in a relationship, from trusting another man, or from loving another man. Because the moment I do any of those things, I am continuing to give him control over my life. With time you will think about it less and less. But it was an extremely traumatic time in your life, it is not something you can just shut off or stop thinking about. I began volunteering at a shelter for women that are victims of domestic violence. That will help in recovering from the ordeal, moving on, and also give you a chance to help others going through the same thing you once did. By helping the girls find strength within themselves it will give you strength.
If you get hung up on it, think about it constantly, and let it negatively effect your life, yes that is bad and you should probably see a therapist if that is the case. If not, just know it's ok to think about it, it's natural. It may sound cheesey but pat yourself on the back and smile because not all women have the strength to walk away from men like that.