Quoting Ayzya:" It's one thing if he is there for you in at least one way or another, but if he isn't trying a bit harder ... [snip!] ... need to say anymore to make it seem like you are trying to mediate between the three if you want to try to stay amicable. "
**vent**exactly. what you said is what ive tried to explain to him, of course he doesnt see it that way because he believes he is giving this new life all he has. which honestly isnt much. anyway, after i wrote this i tried talking to him again. he's agreed to go back to california where he can get on his feet easier since this is so devastating for him here. ugh. ive got a pump, and im applying to places when i can. thing is, i dont know how it will work with me having a job, my mother's ever changing work schedule, us sharing one car, and my baby. i only have 1 friend in this town, and i dont have daycare money. relatives live 30 minutes away but they all work, and my grandfather doesnt have the energy to take care of a 3 month old. If only my boyfriend, the father, were motivated with a sense of urgency about taking care of us like he promised, none of this would be happening and i would have a new sense of respect for the guy. but no. he's slept all day and stayed up all night for weeks now. he wanted a happy family but he's not helping make it happen. yeah ill be the example for him, but ive ALWAYS been the example for him and picked up his slack just about everyday in many ways and now its all been just to send him packing to california where he can have it easy. but i dont care. he tried calling me all kinds of names yesterday when i told him he needed to pick up the pace and get things moving, and i just laughed. i really stopped caring. he could fall in love with another girl for all i care, he doesnt affect me like that anymore. i hope he does find someone else. so i will work, be that single mom struggling to be sure even if im gone that my son is safe and happy, but thats what i WILL do for him. and LO's father will eventually see who is more fit for parenting. he had the nerve to say if he left then he's taking the baby. he was mad when he said it, and of course that would NEVER fly, he wouldnt make it out the door without cops being called, but again..i just had to laugh. unrealistic expectations when i was pregnant thinking he would be this new person with a paternal sense is a hard lesson learned. better now than never though. my son doesnt need to hear us fight anymore.