If you're AGAINST circumcision.

This isn't a debate,
really just questions for people who were against circ'ing their sons.
and not willing to "compromise".
So, please don't turn it into a debate.

My son (7 yrs) was not circ'd.
But i was single at the time with no one to go against the decision i made.

Now with baby three on the way in April,
and not being single, i'm with someone who wants the circumcision done.
(merely for cosmetic reasons)

So my question is, if you were in this situation,
and you had already presented facts 'n such,
how did it go from there for you?

Was it a long argument?
Was it just not even a discussion?

I've already presented information, my personal opinion, etc.
It's enough for me to just not put our child through unnecessary stress and pain for an unnecessary operation.
Lately it's just been causing extra anxiety thinking about him being okay with that.

We haven't revisited the conversation again, but i'm just at the point where it's not even a discussion to have.

Any advice on how you dealt with this would be appreciated.

Can you just....not sign the paper or whatever? I don't know much about it obviously but I would think if you didn't give permission at the hospital they couldn't do it.
He already got the WHOLE name. You should have some say so in his health. I mean what can Jason do.....go get him circ'd when you're not looking?

I don't know the situation but I'd simply refuse to do it. I wouldn't discuss it further. I'd not sign the paper and make sure that the nurses knew that I was not planning on having it done.

If the father somehow tried to do it behind my back.. well, that'd be the end of that.

Maybe just hear him out like you would want to be listened to.

That may be enough for him to let you have your way.


I think this applies to any disagreement. You wouldn't be happy if he wouldn't let you give you opinion, so listen to his and see where you meet.

Quoting Up In Smoke Signals:" Can you just....not sign the paper or whatever? I don't know much about it obviously but I would think ... [snip!] ... WHOLE name. You should have some say so in his health. I mean what can Jason do.....go get him circ'd when you're not looking?"

oh, it's not going to happen.
i just know the discussion will come up again & want tips on it not stressing me out so much.

i don't get it, jason can't handle clara getting those heel prick blood draws..but he doesn't think twice about cutting something off our kid.

Quoting pilot Jess:" Maybe just hear him out like you would want to be listened to. That may be enough for him to let you ... [snip!] ... to any disagreement. You wouldn't be happy if he wouldn't let you give you opinion, so listen to his and see where you meet."

...i never said i didn't hear his side already.
His opinion was he wanted it done so that he wouldn't be made fun of when he was older.

and i'm not even sure how you could meet half way or something on a thing like this...

<blockquote><b>Quoting andthesenights:</b>" I don't know the situation but I'd simply refuse to do it. I wouldn't discuss it further. I'd not sign ... [snip!] ... I was not planning on having it done. If the father somehow tried to do it behind my back.. well, that'd be the end of that. "</blockquote>

 

If DH had heard all the info and knew how pointless the procedure was and how unnecessary putting our newborn son through all that pain was and STILL wanted to do it for COSMETIC purposes, there would be no more discussion. I would never let anyone, including my partner, put my son through a world of pain to make something "look good." So shallow and so horrible.

Quoting andthesenights:" I don't know the situation but I'd simply refuse to do it. I wouldn't discuss it further. I'd not sign ... [snip!] ... I was not planning on having it done. If the father somehow tried to do it behind my back.. well, that'd be the end of that. "

exactly. that would be horrible.

Quoting kr.r:" <blockquote><b>Quoting andthesenights:</b>" I don't know the situation but I'd simply ... [snip!] ... let anyone, including my partner, put my son through a world of pain to make something "look good." So shallow and so horrible."

exactly what's happened, and exactly how i feel.
it makes me stressed and just sad that he's still wanting it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting KNZ.:</b>" ...i never said i didn't hear his side already. His opinion was he wanted it done so that he wouldn't ... [snip!] ... be made fun of when he was older. and i'm not even sure how you could meet half way or something on a thing like this..."</blockquote>




Meet half way by cutting off half of it. Duh!

 


Meet half way by him feeling like you appreciate his opinion and you getting your way. If you are butting heads (it sound like you are by what you wrote) it may cause him to dig his heels in deeper with what he wants. Maybe give him the fact that he won't be made fun of because lots of parents aren't circ'ing anymore.

<blockquote><b>Quoting KNZ.:</b>" ...i never said i didn't hear his side already. His opinion was he wanted it done so that he wouldn't ... [snip!] ... be made fun of when he was older. and i'm not even sure how you could meet half way or something on a thing like this..."</blockquote>


Exactly. There is no halfway.

Quoting KNZ.:" oh, it's not going to happen. i just know the discussion will come up again & want tips on it not ... [snip!] ... jason can't handle clara getting those heel prick blood draws..but he doesn't think twice about cutting something off our kid."

I think there comes a point in time where discussions no longer work. Two sides won't compromise and no one is going to change their mind. Perhaps it is better to just simply state you will not be doing it and let's move on to something else.

Quoting pilot Jess:" <blockquote><b>Quoting KNZ.:</b>" ...i never said i didn't hear his side already. ... [snip!] ... with what he wants. Maybe give him the fact that he won't be made fun of because lots of parents aren't circ'ing anymore."

Oh i did.
It didn't compute in his head.
I gave him a lot of facts.
Plus like- do high school dudes really sit around making fun of each other's junk in the locker room?

<blockquote><b>Quoting KNZ.:</b>" exactly what's happened, and exactly how i feel. it makes me stressed and just sad that he's still wanting it. "</blockquote>


I can imagine! I'm so sorry you're going through this.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting kr.r:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting KNZ.:</b>" ...i never said i didn't hear his side already. ... [snip!] ... even sure how you could meet half way or something on a thing like this..."</blockquote> Exactly. There is no halfway."</blockquote>




I worded that awkwardly. Come to an understanding. I know I am more willing to bend when my opinion is validated and I feel like a decision isn't being monopolized. It's hard to do when you feel passionately about something, but it's more effective in situations like this.