re: 3 year old and attitude

Quoting SmashleyBells:" I would have made him clean up with me. I like to think that when the time comes I'll apply real-world punishments when my son misbehaves."

 

Also a very good idea. Instead of standing in the corner immediately maybe have him clean up the mess he just made, and no playing until he does.

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>"   Also a very good idea. Instead of standing in the corner immediately maybe have him clean up the mess he just made, and no playing until he does."</blockquote>




Yep I wold make the kids clean it up and then go to the time out spot followed by a chat about acceptable behavior and alternate outlets

Quoting Fertile Mertile + D & C:" good idea, i might try that one."

http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/behaviorcharts3-10.htm

this is what we use, every week we sit down they get to pick a new character if they want, jade switches it up alot, Dean had batman for a while, now he has super mario lol,

the end of week, they get to chose desert we usually get mcdonalds or pizza,
Deans older so every day he does good, he gets to put 3 songs on a playlist on his tablet, if jade does good, we give her 1.00 in silver coins, for her piggy bank I started out giving her dollars and she didn't care for them she wants the shiny stuff lol

Quoting nursemaya (13weeks):" <blockquote><b>Quoting Fertile Mertile + D & C:</b>" lol if i told Derek he couldn't ... [snip!] ... So do you get it for him then? How do you respond? Ignore it and leave or try to calm him and talk to Jim?"

No i wouldn't get it for him, but he would scream and cry through the store until he was distracted by something else I would just let him know he needed to calm down, and give him choices.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Fertile Mertile + D & C:</b>" No i wouldn't get it for him, but he would scream and cry through the store until he was distracted by something else I would just let him know he needed to calm down, and give him choices. "</blockquote>




So you talk to him and feed into it. Maybe try removing him from the situation and ignoring the behavior. I would recommend the "no cry disapline solution". Great book on children's behavior and how we cause it to get worse without knowing

Quoting nursemaya (13weeks):" <blockquote><b>Quoting Fertile Mertile + D & C:</b>" No i wouldn't get it for him, ... [snip!] ... recommend the "no cry disapline solution". Great book on children's behavior and how we cause it to get worse without knowing"

he's the kind of kid that doesn't understand why something is being taken away, so i just let him know why. But usually i try and distract him, which works most of the time.

My son was/is the same, highly communicative, gets angry easily. VERY defiant nearly 100% of the time. It got to the point, for a few weeks, where I didn't even really enjoy our time together.   But stick it out, and he'll come through the other side. What worked for me was consistent calm discipline and nothing done "in the moment". I have a bad temper as well, LOL. I read the book "1,2,3 Magic" and it was like a light switch. Everyone knows about counting to three, but the trick is NO TALKING. The rules are set when everyone is calm, so he knows what is expected. He's naughty, say "That's ONE." If he continues, "That's TWO." If he pushes it to three, then age-appropriate time out, even if I had to drag him there. NO TALKING. No explaining, no wheedling, no justification, no yelling, no apology. I was previously doing too much explaining and arguing with him during my counting. If, during time out, he did something worse (like hit the walls), I'd say "That's an extra minute", and that's all.

Three weeks later and he's a different boy. I haven't gotten to three in a week. He grumbles, but if I get to 2 he does what he's told. It's amazing.

A sometimes is that way. Her new thing all of a sudden is expecting to get something every time we go to the store. She will throw a fit and say, "I want it now, or "get this for me now".

Glad to know it's not just my 3-year-olds!

The twins like to yell and hit when something doesn't go there way! And their temper is horrible! I usually grab their hands and hold them down by their sides when they go to hit me, but gosh darn, I can't wait until this phase is over!

Quoting Fertile Mertile + D & C:" How do you discipline your child if he/she is getting an attitude? My son has been terrible with the ... [snip!] ... been consistent with my punishments, but it doesnt' seem to be helping much. He thinks he runs our house and he's in charge."

We gave up with time outs, because she didn't care, so now that she has favorite toys, we take those away from her for an hour, a day, or whatever we feel fit for what she did. She had her purse taken away today and almost instantly changed her attitude.

i'm ready for it to end...

Quoting Fertile Mertile + D & C:" he's the kind of kid that doesn't understand why something is being taken away, so i just let him know why. But usually i try and distract him, which works most of the time."

which provides him with the attention that he craves. people in general only do what gives them a pay out. your son is getting a pay out for this behavior, you have to figure out what it is and stop giving him that pay out and the behavior will stop. It takes time to figure that out sometimes and even longer to "cure" him, but eventually it will work. I think that's what one of the other ladies was getting at when she was talking about her child's father occasionally derailing her efforts
good luck, it's hard work, but know that this too shall pass

Quoting nursemaya (13weeks):" which provides him with the attention that he craves. people in general only do what gives them a ... [snip!] ... about her child's father occasionally derailing her efforts good luck, it's hard work, but know that this too shall pass"

thanks, any advice is appreciated.