Was I out of line?

So my good friend who also happens to be my husbands cousins wife they are having their third baby. She had a loss before this baby at 17 weeks. They have two girls and are having a boy! We are so excited for them. She has had some pre term contractions and she is on bed rest. I know how hard that can be as I had that with my last pregnancy with two kids and its really hard.
I know since she hasn't been able to work it had been tight so I asked my husband if I could throw them a diaper shower. And people could bring some boy stuff if they pleased. He thought that would be nice. I thought it might cheer her up. So I asked her and she got upset with me. She said "why would you think we wanted our friends to buy us stuff or need them to?" . " we don't feel confortable at all with this" among other things she said. Like I wasn't thinking of her feelings.
So I said that was fine and if they didn't feel comfortable I wouldn't do it.
Now she seems mad at me.

Did I overstep my bounds? I didn't mean to. I was just trying to be nice. I thought maybe she thinks something bad might happen with this baby which I get. I just thought she would tell me yes or no politely. Not tear a strip off me.

I don't think you did, maybe just caught her off gaurd when you asked her about it though.... I think it was a sweet idea!!

I don't think you were out of line. You were just trying to throw her a shower.

I think you were being very thoughtfull, and I dont think you over stepped at all. Also keep in mind she is hormonal.

I don't think you were at all. If so anyone who throws someone a baby shower is out of line.

Most women have showers. It's a way for friends and family to come together to celebrate a new baby. I think she's just sensitive right now.

Not out of line. With the problems and her being on bedrest and all, I'm guessing she is stressed with worrying about if she will carry the baby to term, and probably hormonal. I bet she will get over it. And maybe when she is farther along she could change her mind and ask if you would still do it. If not and you still want to do something to show you care, you could buy gifts yourself and give them to her when she has the baby.

Thanks ladies. I felt guilty after I asked her that I had upset her. Then I thought about it and I felt a little attacked. But I know she is worried and hormonal. So I just let it go. I wanted to boost her spirits but I did the opposite.

Wow I don't think you were out of line at all. I get that she's probably hormonal or maybe it's pride, but still. I think it was nice of you and I hope that she'll see that at some point. Obviously you were just trying to do something nice for her, it wasn't like you were trying to treat her like a charity case or something.

Quoting Moses.:" I don't think you were at all. If so anyone who throws someone a baby shower is out of line. "

 

Sometimes you just can't please anyone OP lol. Don't worry, she'll come around.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tyler and AJ's Mommy:</b>" Wow I don't think you were out of line at all. I get that she's probably hormonal or maybe it's pride, ... [snip!] ... were just trying to do something nice for her, it wasn't like you were trying to treat her like a charity case or something."</blockquote>




I know. I just thought having the two girls and then a boy it would be nice to have a little help but mostly it would be nice for her to be around those that care about her. Oh well maybe she will change her mind.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>"   Sometimes you just can't please anyone OP lol. Don't worry, she'll come around. "</blockquote>




Oh I know. Lol I don't even try to please everyone anymore in this house it never works haha

I hope she does