This is long but any help or advice is needed!

I've been with my sons father for 6 1/2 years. We started out really happy. We were extremely close for 2 years. Once we had our 2 year anniversary i got confused about our relationship. I've never understood why or even what triggered me to go into this extreme confusion but it happened. shortly after that started i got pregnant with my son. We were both extremely happy and my boyfriend was the most supportive person i could have asked for. After i had our son, we really bonded as parents. We were extremely close again, and the confusion kind of went away (although it was always in the back of my head). A year and a half after my son was born i decided to get a job since i was a SAHM. I found a part time job at a car dealership once a week. I loved it and made some great friends. 6months later i was offered full time hours, so i took them. At this time i was having so much fun with my new friends at work that i forgot about the problems i felt in my relationship. I started flirting with a guy at my work. Because i was getting NO attention at home, it felt really nice to feel beautiful again. My boyfriend lacked just about EVERYTHING in the physical department. He never wanted to be close to me, and never even complimented my looks or anything for that matter. I tried to have sex with him and he never seemed interested... i just got sick of it. Not being wanted sexually (he claims it wasnt like that) makes a girl extremely insecure... especially because i felt like i was just gross or something. Well the talking with the guy continued... which resulted in much more then talking, and eventually led to sex. I cheated on my boyfriend.... Something i swore id never do... At the time i was so miserable that i didnt really care... but it hit me... the guilt and the horrible thing i did to the father to my child. I quit my job there and find a different job and a town a half hour away. To make a long story short... my boyfriend found out Jan 2012. He was crushed... I was devastated knowing how badly i hurt him. We tried to move past it and at one point kind of did... June 2012 we got an apartment together and life just hasnt been the same. ALL i repeat ALL we do is fight... sometimes its me and sometimes its him. That confusion is still there. I have not cheated since and i never would again.... i'm not confused like i want someone else or even think about it... It's that i question if this is the life for me... why am i settling if i feel unhappy... sometimes i am happy and feel like we could make it but other times i feel opposite. I've tried to leave and just say smurf it, but i cant do it. I still love him. I dont know what to do. I know its my fault things got so bad and i dont want to be judged. I smurfed up and i admit it... but things are not the same and i know its because of what i did. What should i do? I am at this crossroad where i can decide which way to go. I love him and want it to work out but i cant be with someone who is so distant. I wanna feel important to him but i dont always feel that way. Any advice would be great!! Thanks!

Have you thought about couples counseling? Sounds like you both need to learn how to communicate AND you need to regain his trust.

You shouldn't settle for a horrible relationship. But if you both willing to try to make it a great relationship, try counseling. For the child's sake, it is worth a good try!

Quoting The Doctor:" Have you thought about couples counseling? Sounds like you both need to learn how to communicate AND you need to regain his trust."

He has agreed to it... we just havent gone yet...

Quoting Lady GooGoo™:" You shouldn't settle for a horrible relationship. But if you both willing to try to make it a great relationship, try counseling. For the child's sake, it is worth a good try!"

I know... i dont want to put my son through that but i dont want him to see his parents hate each other either... it's so hard when kids are involved.

Quoting Jessica *MommyToNoah*:" He has agreed to it... we just havent gone yet... "

Then get on that. Don't be complacent if you want to work out your issues. You probably both know what the issues are-- now you have to get off your butts and do something and WORK on your relationship if you want to be together. Yaknow?

Call around today. Find someone that you can make an appointment with.

Quoting The Doctor:" Then get on that. Don't be complacent if you want to work out your issues. You probably both know what ... [snip!] ... your relationship if you want to be together. Yaknow? Call around today. Find someone that you can make an appointment with."

I AGREE W/THIS!......... also some individual therapy may help you get to the root of your fluctuating emotional turmoil.

Quoting The Doctor:" Then get on that. Don't be complacent if you want to work out your issues. You probably both know what ... [snip!] ... your relationship if you want to be together. Yaknow? Call around today. Find someone that you can make an appointment with."

I will... i guess its our own fault for not trying to fix it with counseling already.

Quoting 6 blessings so far....:" I AGREE W/THIS!......... also some individual therapy may help you get to the root of your fluctuating emotional turmoil."

I def will! Thank you!

Quoting 6 blessings so far....:" I AGREE W/THIS!......... also some individual therapy may help you get to the root of your fluctuating emotional turmoil."

 

<3 And good luck.

Quoting The Doctor:"   <3 And good luck."

i appreciate it