Husband called me his ex-wife's name yesterday..

Should I really be offended?

Because I feel really offended - but I've also been going through a few postpartum issues (self confidence, don't feel like me, etc.) so I don't know if it's just everything else that really bothered me on top of that? I didn't bring it up at the time, because he was on the phone with his mom who was telling him important news - and then after he started rambling about that, so I just dropped it.

His family (his mom, his sister, his brother in law, and his niece) have all called me her name as well at family functions. We've only been married just over a year (and been together 3) Whatever, I got over it - they got embarrassed, etc. But my husband has NEVER done it, and always yells at them when they do it. It's sort of strange to me too, because he's brought her up about 3-4 times in the last 3 months - I sort of reprimanded him for that, because I really don't need to hear about her. (She cheated on him, ended their 7-8 year relationship in 2000/2001) So yeah, it's 2013 - it's been 12-13 years. I get that he was hurt, and that sucks - I get it. A lot of us have been there.

But when he brought her up one time, it was sort of like a vent for him. He told me about how he followed her to make sure she was cheating (which fine, I would do the same probably) - and said that it was really hard being in love with someone who doesn't love you back/doesn't want you anymore.
I get that - but the look on his face just screamed "I'm not over this/her!" Maybe he's just incredibly bitter, but it made me feel uncomfortable. That conversation was only a few months back.

Now, we have a 9 month old son - and we have a good relationship as far as I can see. I love him a lot, and would do anything for him.

What would you do in this situation? I haven't brought it up yet at all. I thought I was probably just over-reacting, but thought I'd throw the topic out here.

Anyone else been called an ex's name?

I wouldn't be offended he obviously loved that women, to marry her. He was hurt by her. Maybe it is around the time he caught her cheating and it is being brought up by the dates.

Yes, he called me one of his ex's name once....both of our names start with M. I don't think it's a big deal, in fact we had a laugh about it.

Sounds like he is just sharing about a hard time in his life, and if he can't talk to you about it, who can he talk to about it?

You admitted that you have self-esteem issues, which can lead to insecurity, I think that is what is happening here.

My husband has called me by his ex wife's name once. He felt horrible. But old habits die hard. It doesn't mean he was thinking of her, it could just come out of old habit.

And I would be happy that he is pouring out his feelings to you. Sure, it stings to hear the pain another woman caused him, but he is sharing and working through it with you. He is with you. Not her. Remember that. Let him have his moments, or he may not want to be so open with you out of fear that you will be upset.

I too have been divorced before, and occasionally, I still feel hurt by what my ex did to me. It has no bearing on my feelings for him, but sometimes wounds take longer than you'd think to fully heal.

I agree. She was a part of his life for a long time. I wouldn't be offended, and really like someone else said maybe there is something Hong on that is reminding him of her, like a date or maybe he saw a mutual friend or something. If it were me, I'd try to draw him out about it and see if he wants to talk about whatever is bothering him. Maybe it will get it of his chest and help. But I'm a big talker so. I hippie you feel better soon, and i hope yall work it out.

Quoting Ladee+Grant+Lilly:" I agree. She was a part of his life for a long time. I wouldn't be offended, and really like someone ... [snip!] ... it will get it of his chest and help. But I'm a big talker so. I hippie you feel better soon, and i hope yall work it out."

    

Facebook suggested my ex as a "Friend"....that brought back a whole flood of memories, good and bad. That night my husband and I had a huge talk about how I was feeling. It felt great to get all of those feelings out, it actually made me feel closer to my husband.

Quoting hiljoys:" Should I really be offended? Because I feel really offended - but I've also been going through a few ... [snip!] ... I thought I was probably just over-reacting, but thought I'd throw the topic out here. Anyone else been called an ex's name?"

I have been there before so long as he is not saying it to you in insult and is genuinly sorry it was an accident kind of thing no reason to be mad as he didnt mean to and he still stands up for you when family makes the mistake
If its said maliciously tho yea I would be pissed

Quoting hiljoys:" Should I really be offended? Because I feel really offended - but I've also been going through a few ... [snip!] ... I thought I was probably just over-reacting, but thought I'd throw the topic out here. Anyone else been called an ex's name?"

Yes. In the middle of sex I was called her first time's name.