fallen out of love??
posted 24th Feb
So lately every thing my SO does pisses me off. When he stays on the computer all day and doesnt spend time with me and his daughter i get mad.....i got mad tonight because he has went over to his guy friends house twice a day for the past three days. I get annoyed when he talks about how bored he is and he needs to get out of the apt. I was annoyed because he didnt have a job and now he does have one but he bitches about it which annoys me. ugh...every little thing..especially the fact he cant be quiet to save his effin life when he sees me trying to get baby to sleep. The point is...i cant tell if its just me or if i have fallen out of love. SOme days are good...but it doesnt last long...two days tops then we fight again or i get annoyed. Things were so different before our daughter was born. sometimes i think that i would of already left if we didnt have a kid together. ugh im confused and i guess im just venting. i want to love him. i want things to be ok and be like they once were. ughhh this sucks
quoteposted 24th Feb
Sounds like he is all about me me me. You're not bored because you're being a mom and wife. He wouldn't be bored if he was being a father and husband.
quoteposted 24th Feb
Your LO is a little bit younger than mine is, and around the same time (even sometimes now) I felt the same way. Honestly, I think it's our hormones adjusting and we're just crankier....I have BAD pms now, whereas I never used to pre-parenthood....Or (in my case) I used to be a total "baby hog" after DS was born, and since I'm nursing I felt SO couldn't really do much to help out...but now that he's older, I'm not as much of a baby hog anymore, and SO has fallen into the "habit" of letting me take care of LO by myself, that I feel he's being lazy or whatever. When in fact, I'm the one that pushed him away and wanted LO all to myself (at least that's how I feel) I know I'm still in love with SO, I just sometimes need to sit back, take a deep breath, and remember that he's still the same guy I fell in love with...it's my body and emotions that are changing and everything will go back to the way it used to be
I hope this helps, Mama
quoteposted 25th Feb
It might just be that you resent him a bit because you think he's acting selfishly, not necessarily that you've fallen out of love, but just because he's acting unfairly and not showing enough consideration for you? It could just be that you've not been spending quality time together since you had the baby, and need to reconnect as a couple, remember that you're two people in a relationship, not just parents. Try going out on dates and things if that's possible, it might help you to remember what brought you two together in the first place
I think all you can do in this situation is be honest and calmly tell him how you feel, and see if he's willing to work to improve things.
quoteposted 25th Feb
thanks everyone...this really helps
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