*DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE ANXIETY OVER EPIDURAL NOT WORKING*
As some of you know, I was attempting a VBAC with a lot going against me. I wasn't able to go past my due date because of high BP and previous Pre-Eclampsia, so I had to be induced, but they couldn't use Pitocin because it is too strong and harsh on the body which poses too many risks during a VBAC.
I went to the hospital on Thursday Feb. 21st at 8:00 to have my water broken to try and jumpstart labor. My doctor got there at 9:30 and spent the next 45 painful minutes trying to break my damn water. I was still only dilated 1 cm and my doctor said that I had a membrane sac of steel. It did NOT want to break. Haddie's head was also in a position that was blocking it from just gushing out because she had been head-down since 32 weeks. FINALLY, she was able to stretch my cervix to 2 cm and rupture the sac and we started a slow trickle. Haddie's head kept blocking it from coming out very much.
After all of that manipulation and the breaking of the water, I immediately started having strong, painful contractions every 2 minutes. My doctor was super encouraged by this and went home. She said that I didn't need to be checked again until morning unless I was in excruciating pain, which I was thrilled with, because I didn't want anything touching my cervix for a while after all that... lol.
So we waited. The contractions got more painful, and didn't let up. These were the kind of contractions that dilate you! I was so excited and nervous... and obviously in a lot of pain! Then, after several hours... I woke up. Apparently at some point, I had fallen asleep. I took this as a really bad sign. Looking at the monitor, I saw that my contractions had slowed to 4-6 minutes apart. At 5:30, the RN saw how upset I was that my contractions slowed and offered to check me. She said that sometimes, they just slow for a little bit and then get going again, and we'd go more off of the cervical changes.
So she checked me, and I was still only dilated to 2 cm. Which isn't even something my body did, it's what the doctor did when she stretched my cervix. As you know with breaking your water, it's time sensitive. The longer you go, the more you risk infection to the baby. We had decided on letting me labor for 18 hours. After that, if not enough had changed, we'd do a C-Section. When she checked my cervix again at 8:00, it had been 12 hours with no process, and my contractions had come to just about a halt. She thinks that not enough fluid was able to leak out to get my contractions really going. We went ahead and decided on a C-Section that that point. With 12 hours and no progress, the likelihood of something happening in 6 more hours was extremely low.
ON TO MY SmurffY C-SECTION EXPERIENCE:
So after some crying and a little bit of grieving the labor that I wanted, it was time to have a RCS. I went in and it was horrible. The anesthesiologist
kept poking me over and over to get me numbed up because I guess he couldn't get it the first time. In the meantime, I heard the nurses in the background putting in my information. Their conversation went something like this:
"So, she's a repeat?"
"She didn't want to try for VBAC?"
"No, she did try."
"Oh okay. So under reason for C-Section I'll put 'failed VBAC'
That's when I lost it and started bawling. It was enough that this guy kept poking me, but everyone kept unintentionally reminding me that my body had FAILED doing what it was supposed to do. Finally, he got the epidural in and I laid on my back. They cleaned me off and I told them that I felt things. They kept saying that I would feel it. I would feel pressure, and tugging, but I wouldn't feel pain. I kept saying "Yes, I know that, but I'm feeling sensations. I felt the roughness of the brush you used to clean me" They blew me off and told me that the doctor would test first before doing anything. So the doctor comes in and pokes my foot. I tell them I feel it on one side. The anesthesiologist
then becomes annoyed, looks at me and goes "Okay. You're GOING to feel it. What I need to know is if you are in PAIN." I said "Well.... no not really I guess, I just felt that it was sharp." So he gives my doctor the go ahead, and she cuts me. Guess what? I SmUrfING FELT IT. I told that douche bag I could feel it and he didn't take me seriously. My doctor was PISSED. So then I was knocked out.
At 12:08 after fairly traumatic labor experience number two, my daughter was born. She's beautiful. She weighed 6 lbs 2 ounces and is 19 inches long. We've been here a little about 36 hours, and she has jaundice. She's been on the lights all night and we've had to supplement her with formula because my milk hasn't come in. She's not latching as well now, which is a huge disappointment. They just took her to check on everything and see if it went away. They've been gone longer than they said they would be... I'm a little worried.
Nothing has gone the way I wanted it to. I just want to go home with my little family!