re: How important is marriage?

The legality of marriage is not important to me. I am happily married and it was pretty much because I wanted the whole family to have the same last name.

I work and have my own insurance and didn't need him for that and financially everything is the same. We pooled our money from day 1.


But I agree it should be something both people want or don't want.

Neither of us really care about marriage. We are doing it for legal/financial reasons and because it is the only way his family will accept our having children together.

I'm trippin on the fact that he will do it just to make me happy, not himself. He doesn't think anything of marriage, it's a piece of paper. To me though its so much deeper and just being together isn't enough! I want his last name, if I had any thought we wouldn't I wouldn't have given our child his last name.

Quoting ღSheilaღ:" Marriage is over-rated IMO. I have been wanting to get a divorce for some time now and from what i've heard it costs more then getting married  "

Indeed it does!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rydicule91:</b>" I'm trippin on the fact that he will do it just to make me happy, not himself. He doesn't think anything ... [snip!] ... together isn't enough! I want his last name, if I had any thought we wouldn't I wouldn't have given our child his last name."</blockquote>




Eh to me it's a piece of paper and his name. I'm deeply in love with my partner but didn't need the paper to prove it. He really wanted to get married I was fine either way.

Quoting Rydicule91:" I'm trippin on the fact that he will do it just to make me happy, not himself. He doesn't think anything ... [snip!] ... together isn't enough! I want his last name, if I had any thought we wouldn't I wouldn't have given our child his last name."

You should be flattered that he will do it just to make you happy. It doesn't need to be important to him for the same reasons it's important to you. You two were not raised in the same family.

What's important is that he recognizes that it's important to you and because of that, he's willing to do it.

Quoting Red Bottom:" You should be flattered that he will do it just to make you happy. It doesn't need to be important to ... [snip!] ... same family. What's important is that he recognizes that it's important to you and because of that, he's willing to do it. "

 

I would not stay with someone that didn't see marriage in our future. I know man just see it as a piece of paper but I view it as the highest form of commitment. Yes some don't treat it as such by marrying and divorcing like it's nothing, my mother is one of those but it's very important to me. Much more than a piece of paper and something I wanted out of a relationship.

ETA- SOME men and women.

Quoting 3 little monsters:" I would not stay with someone that didn't see marriage in our future. I know man just see it as a piece ... [snip!] ... is one of those but it's very important to me. Much more than a piece of paper and something I wanted out of a relationship. "

"men" don't see it as a piece of paper.

"certain people" do.

plenty of men value marriage for moral and religious reasons.

<blockquote><b>Quoting 3 little monsters:</b>" I would not stay with someone that didn't see marriage in our future. I know man just see it as a piece ... [snip!] ... is one of those but it's very important to me. Much more than a piece of paper and something I wanted out of a relationship. "</blockquote>




I saw it as a piece of paper my husband didn't lol

I never changed my last name. I hate his last name and I hate that I stuck my kids with it lol We decided to change all of ours to his last middle name, it was his fathers last name before he was adopted.

Quoting Red Bottom:" "men" don't see it as a piece of paper. "certain people" do. plenty of men value marriage for moral and religious reasons."

Well that was a slip of the fingers I guess. I meant some men don't see it as more than a piece of paper and typed it wrong. My husband is extremely serious about our marriage so I know all men aren't like that.

Quoting Rydicule91:" Would you have or would you leave DH/SO if he didn't want to get married? Does it make a difference to ... [snip!] ... just does it to make you happy and doesn't care? Also, how long would you wait for him to marry you until you said forget it?"

no, because I'm not sure I want to get married. I do want a committed relationship, but after spending $15K to get divorced.. not sure I want a legal marriage again.

I think people need to assess why their partner doesn't want to get married. If they dont' want a commitment.. that's a problem. If they just don't want to get married... they need to decide if the person or the marriage is more important

Marriage is very important to me. I wouldnt be able to leave DH after I already fell for him, (which was pretty quick) but if when we first started out, he were to tell me that he never wanted to get married, I wouldnt have given him a chance. Luckily it is just as important to him, or we would've missed out   Also I would never marry someone who was doing it just because I wanted them too. I guess I am just old fashioned *shrugs*

Eh, it's not that important.

I just wanted his cool ass last name.