re: uh, what?

Just ask him, it's not like you were snooping so I'm sure he won't be mad, just try really hard to not make it sound like you're accusing him of anything (because you're not) there's probably a simple explanation and then you can just forget about it.

Quoting xluucyx:" Just ask him, it's not like you were snooping so I'm sure he won't be mad, just try really hard to not ... [snip!] ... accusing him of anything (because you're not) there's probably a simple explanation and then you can just forget about it."

no matter how nice I am, or how I confront him - there is always that defensive attitude. It's just how he is, always has been. It's the most annoying thing. He'll get all defensive and smurf - and THEN be able to talk in an hour or a more.

Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:" I wouldn't even give a smurf. He did me dirty like this is the past before LO was even thought of. When ... [snip!] ... it's probably nothing.\Even if he says they were his moms, I'm going to ask her. She is more on my side than her own son's lol"

My SO lied to me about being clean for two months and I never noticed (this was before LO). How foolish of me right? I felt like an idiot but I took his ass back, hell he was even using when our daughter was born and I gave him an ultimatum, either you stop using or we are gone for good. He stopped using and has been clean from everything (including suboxone, because he was getting treated for his addiction for about 4 months) for 6 months now. Even if he did do you dirty he is still the father of your child.. Don't get me wrong I would definitely not want my daughter around my SO if he started using again.. But I would still be there to support him because that is what addicts need or else they will start using again to numb the pain.

Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:" my SO would think I'm lying and was creeping. lol I've crept on his phone before, but only because those ... [snip!] ... phone for no reason. I have suffered from addiction in the past, as to why I am kinda pissed this smurf was in my apartment. "

I would be pissed if it was in my apartment too and both of us were recovering addicts.

Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:" SO's dad was a halfway house owner. But it has been shut down for a while now. That is the only other thing I can think of. "

If it is shut down there is no way they are still getting the meds for the clinic.

Quoting Kali'sMommy♥:" My SO lied to me about being clean for two months and I never noticed (this was before LO). How foolish ... [snip!] ... I would still be there to support him because that is what addicts need or else they will start using again to numb the pain. "

From what he did in the past, and what he is capable of, I would not allow him around LO unless he is visibly clean with proof. He is still the father, but unable to do that when he is using. He is a monster when he is like that. I would only allow LO to be with him supervised.

again, I am jumping to conclusions. but me and SO did have this talk a while ago about what we would do if one of us smurfed up bad. We both agreed that LO wouldn't be allowed with the other unless supervised or clean with proof. That's just a mutual agreement we made between each other.

Damn, he's asleep right now and I want to wake him up so bad.

Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:" even if he does give a reasonable explanation, should I just let it go? "

I would, just because I trust him and believe that he would do the right thing and tell me the truth. Especially when it comes down to the consequences he would have to pay if he lied.

Quoting Kali'sMommy♥:" I would, just because I trust him and believe that he would do the right thing and tell me the truth. Especially when it comes down to the consequences he would have to pay if he lied. "

true. I'm worried now. I really wasn't when I first found it. Now all of my jumping to conclusions got my mind carried away.

Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:" From what he did in the past, and what he is capable of, I would not allow him around LO unless he is ... [snip!] ... That's just a mutual agreement we made between each other. Damn, he's asleep right now and I want to wake him up so bad. "

If you all made that commitment then I would trust he would honor it. Do not jump to conclusions because you don't want to say anything that will trigger him into getting upset. I wouldn't wake him, let him sleep and go about it when he gets up.

Quoting Kali'sMommy♥:" If it is shut down there is no way they are still getting the meds for the clinic. "

his dad will occasionally do work on the side for others though. try to help others get clean and what not. but I haven't heard of him do this in a while. We all have a pretty close relationship and anything serious gets talked about. They live right above us so we all talk about literally every little thing.

Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:" true. I'm worried now. I really wasn't when I first found it. Now all of my jumping to conclusions got my mind carried away. "

Don't worry yourself.

Quoting Kali'sMommy♥:" If you all made that commitment then I would trust he would honor it. Do not jump to conclusions because ... [snip!] ... to say anything that will trigger him into getting upset. I wouldn't wake him, let him sleep and go about it when she gets up."

I've already jumped to enough conclusions! hahaha My mind is crazy when it comes to this smurf. It's just my worst fear is loosing my family to this. And I know I wouldn't give a 3rd chance if he did smurf up.

Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:" his dad will occasionally do work on the side for others though. try to help others get clean and what ... [snip!] ... and anything serious gets talked about. They live right above us so we all talk about literally every little thing. "

Did his dad used to supply y'all with Suboxone? If his dad knows that you are both recovering addicts I don't think he would go behind your back and give your SO anything.

Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:" I've already jumped to enough conclusions! hahaha My mind is crazy when it comes to this smurf. It's ... [snip!] ... to this smurf. It's just my worst fear is loosing my family to this. And I know I wouldn't give a 3rd chance if he did smurf up. "

I know you have that fear, that is the same fear I have to be honest but you have to do what is right for you and your child.. And in the end he will see he smurfed up and he will have to live with the grief, not you.

Quoting Kali'sMommy♥:" Did his dad used to supply y'all with Suboxone? If his dad knows that you are both recovering addicts I don't think he would go behind your back and give your SO anything. "

oh noooooooo. his dad wouldn't even do that. his ass would be kicked out if his mother found out he did that. A few weeks ago I wondered and had a suspiscion that SO's dad was using again himself after his friend died, and posted a thread on here about it. I'm starting to wonder if he did relapse, used the suboxone and SO found them.