re: am I being unreasonable?

<blockquote><b>Quoting JessieLeeAnne:</b>" I didn't know the back story. However, it is your right to do that and I don't blame you. I wouldn't ... [snip!] ... he will just have to take you back to court. And the whole not buying his own clothes because he pays child support is BS. "</blockquote>



I once asked him to pick up a pack of diapers on the way to his sisters house to see her because she only had one left and the closest store was a hour away. He had the nerve to ask if I was going to pay him back for them. His sister chewed his ass out. I don't see him offering to replace the clothes that were ruined while he had her.

<blockquote><b>Quoting 1inpink2inblue:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting JessieLeeAnne:</b>" I didn't know the back story. However, ... [snip!] ... for them. His sister chewed his ass out. I don't see him offering to replace the clothes that were ruined while he had her."</blockquote>


Oh he didn't get the diapers either.

Quoting JessieLeeAnne:" Everybody parents differently. ((shrug.))"

true, but in a situation where the parents are separated and they have to co-parent, they have to work as a team to raise the child together. Not have the mom treat her one way and tell her doing certain things is not okay, and the father just letting her to as she pleases and not disciplining her. It's causing more issues for OP since her LO is acting out now after being with the father.

Me and SO parent differently, but the bottom line comes down to that we have the same set of rules for LO, we just do it differently. He would never go against what I ask him to do with LO, and I would never go against what he asks of me and if we don't agree on the way another does something with him, we talk about it and fix it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:</b>" but at the same time she isn't really getting the picture of what a REAL dad is then, from him I mean. ... [snip!] ... to her. I know you want her to see him, but is he really being a good father to her or just taking her for his visitation?"</blockquote>



She that is what I am saying. She is missing out on having a dad any way because he is refusing to be one.

Quoting 1inpink2inblue:" <blockquote><b>Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:</b>" but at the same time she isn't ... [snip!] ... She that is what I am saying. She is missing out on having a dad any way because he is refusing to be one."

exactly. you are making the right choice! he needs to grow up and realize being a father isn't just about having your daughter look nice so you can take her out and play daddy. It's buying the diapers, disciplining her, teaching her right from wrong, good behavior and bad behavior, and especially providing for her every need. Not complain if he has to put out $$ for diapers, but run to the store when she is running low.

Quoting 1inpink2inblue:" <blockquote><b>Quoting JessieLeeAnne:</b>" I didn't know the back story. However, ... [snip!] ... for them. His sister chewed his ass out. I don't see him offering to replace the clothes that were ruined while he had her."

That does suck.

Have you asked to sign his rights away to end the child support payments? Then your DH could adopt her....Just a suggestion.

It will not phase her to grow up not knowing that man. My dad adopted me when I was 7 and I only wondered about my biological father once. I met him recently and I am sooo thankful for my mother leaving him. My dad now is my dad, blood or not.

Quoting JessieLeeAnne:" That does suck. Have you asked to sign his rights away to end the child support payments? Then your ... [snip!] ... father once. I met him recently and I am sooo thankful for my mother leaving him. My dad now is my dad, blood or not. "

good suggestion! SO never met his bio dad, but is thankful that he never did. His real dad never could adopt him since his bio dad wouldn't sign over the rights but passed about 6 years ago. SO only knows his "step" dad as his dad since he raised him since he was 6 months old.

BD could still be in her life, if you think that is a healthy way to go about giving up his rights, but at the same time it gives your DS the opportunity to adopt her and be the father she needs.

<blockquote><b>Quoting JessieLeeAnne:</b>" Everybody parents differently. ((shrug.))"</blockquote>




True but he isn't parenting her. He is TEACHING her to lie and feel entitled and to be disrespectful of other people and their belongings. Also if she gets in trouble at home she doesn't care because she goes to school all week and on the weekend she knows her dad is going to let her do whatever she wants no matter what I say.

Quoting JessieLeeAnne:" Everybody parents differently. ((shrug.))"

THis

<blockquote><b>Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:</b>" good suggestion! SO never met his bio dad, but is thankful that he never did. His real dad never could ... [snip!] ... go about giving up his rights, but at the same time it gives your DS the opportunity to adopt her and be the father she needs. "</blockquote>



He won't. I've been down that road when she was a baby and only choose to see her like once every 3 months.

Quoting Mrs.Josh Ramsay:" THis "

yea , but he isn't really parenting.

Quoting 1inpink2inblue:" <blockquote><b>Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:</b>" good suggestion! SO never met his ... [snip!] ... He won't. I've been down that road when she was a baby and only choose to see her like once every 3 months."

that sucks   well unfortunately all you can do is go back to original visitation agreement and if he is unhappy - he can take you to court.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs.Josh Ramsay:</b>" THis "</blockquote>




Once again IF he was parenting her that would be one thing. He is just sitting her up for failure as an adult at this point and making my job of ACTUALLY parenting her harder.