re: teen moms come talk :)

I was 19 when I got pregnant with my 2nd child. Oh btw whoever said your baby was good enough for your finance to stick around....excuse me but Smurf you. My children are awesome, and neither of their dads stuck around, my oldest sons father hasn't seen him since he was 18 months, and that sure as hell doesn't mean he wasn't good enough..

Anyways op, I didn't read the whole thing, but it is so hard to be so young and have not one, but 2 .. if you ever just want to talk just pm me, I have been through a lot so I'm good at understanding things.. anyways good luck!

<blockquote><b>Quoting DarcieMaye:</b>" But why should she be proud ? I mean its her choice to keep her baby at such a young age . Im 19 and ... [snip!] ... is a VERY hard thing to do . If anything us Teen moms are a lot stronger than someone who decides to wait till "adulthood" . "</blockquote>




Ok ladies listen... Strength has nothing to do with it. I had my first when I was 17. I was smart enough to not have a second until 28 and my third at 35. Having a baby as a teenager doesn't make you "strong". It makes you wreckless. Irresponsible. That being said... It does NOT make you a bad mother. Yes it can make you stronger but you can only claim that if you are COMPLETELY independent. No assistance, no living with mom and dad, complete independence. Then you can claim strength.

I also know for a fact that you enjoy it so much more when you've matured. I worked two jobs and put myself through college and received two Bachelor degrees before I dared to have my second. I truly got to enjoy every minute with her because I grown, settle and financially stable. I paid my home off when she was two and still waited 4 more years before conceiving my third.

Who was stronger because I got pregnant at 17? My oldest child. She remembers the hard times. The long days at daycare. Me trying to make the most fun out of the time we got to spend together. She remembers how exhausted I was, waking up in the middle of the night from a bad dream and I was still at the table studying. She's stronger because she knows what it's like to be that baby, and how long and hard I had to work to give her a good life. It made her strong enough to know that she's better off waiting until she is older to start her family.

Quoting peekin3:" <blockquote><b>Quoting DarcieMaye:</b>" But why should she be proud ? I mean its her ... [snip!] ... give her a good life. It made her strong enough to know that she's better off waiting until she is older to start her family."

This exactly! Be proud that you're on your own and NOT getting help in any way, shape or form.
I am almost 24 with three babies. I had my oldest when I turned 18, second at 19 and third at 23. I graduated high school, put myself through college (my last day was today and I graduate with my Associates in three weeks then start my Bachelors in June) My husband lucked out and got a great job right out of high school; almost 6 years later he makes nearly $20 a hour working 12 hour nights. We struggled with two babies in the beginning because we were just barely 18 and on our own (WIC was our only assistance) and it was hard because we were solely on our own; with only one income. But now at almost 24, we own our first home (well, on mortgage) have two car payments and don't have any struggles. We planned our third child because we knew we were ready. Just because you're young and already have a baby, doesn't mean you need to have your kids all close in age, at least not until you can financially and emotionally handle more. Give it time and you will cherish it so much more. I know I did  

Yes because having assistance when you have no one to help and your barely making rent is just so irresponsible of young moms. Not everyone has the help or a partner to help pay bills, when I had my first I could barely keep a roof over our head let alone pay for food, I walked to work because I couldnt afford a car. I worked my butt off for my son, but yet still needed assistance, don't automatically assume that just because someone is on assistance they are being lazy. Some of the women on here are a little too harsh on some of the younger ones here, remember not every one has the option to go to school.

Quoting **§emily§**(16 weeks):" Yes because having assistance when you have no one to help and your barely making rent is just so irresponsible ... [snip!] ... women on here are a little too harsh on some of the younger ones here, remember not every one has the option to go to school."

Why is that? Just curious..

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~Mommyof3girls~:</b>" This exactly! Be proud that you're on your own and NOT getting help in any way, shape or form. I am ... [snip!] ... not until you can financially and emotionally handle more. Give it time and you will cherish it so much more. I know I did  "</blockquote>




I had my second at 20 unplanned due to me being completely neive and stupid and thinking I could trust the guy enough to not take the condom off. However I became celibate for 2 years afterwards to focus on being a mom, and making a better life for them, I then met my husband. We are happily married and have a pretty good financial status, I don't really think though that me having to be on assistance when I was struggling to make ends meet made me a bad mom, what made me a bad mom was that I let a spur of the moment action take over and wasn't thinking about the what ifs when I got pregnant again. Like I said ..sometimes there is situations that call for it, its if the girl decides to grow up to try and do better or just mooch on purpose that is the defining moment of motherhood.

Quoting **§emily§**(16 weeks):" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~Mommyof3girls~:</b>" This exactly! Be proud that you're on ... [snip!] ... its if the girl decides to grow up to try and do better or just mooch on purpose that is the defining moment of motherhood."

Completely true  

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~Mommyof3girls~:</b>" Why is that? Just curious.."</blockquote>




Like I said.. I WALKED TO WORK which was 3 miles away, minimum wage job, no help what so ever, the closest college was around 20-25 miles away. I made around 850 a month, 455 went to rent. I was on subsidized billing for electric which was 98 a month, gas for my place around 50-60 a month, plus diapers and wipes..egg cheap would have been another 100 a month, plus 75 a week for baby sitting, you tell me if I had ANY room what so ever to cut down my job to go to school. Like I said, I had no one. Not my mother, not my siblings, not his father, just me.

I literally was in the negative every month...every single, I had no room for our food, therefore I was on foodstamps, I had no money for transit, and defunately no money for his healthcare, so I was on Medicaid. I did what I could and everything I could to make ends meet so my son could be taken care of.

well im 19 working on my second im due the 15th of may....my son will be six when I have this baby...

<blockquote><b>Quoting peekin3:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting DarcieMaye:</b>" But why should she be proud ? I mean its her ... [snip!] ... give her a good life. It made her strong enough to know that she's better off waiting until she is older to start her family."</blockquote>




Swift kick to forehead! Guess who came home crying today? Yep... My 18 yo is pregnant :-( and why was she crying? Because she KNOWS what's ahead. She's not proud or happy about it. I'm in shock, but we will be fine. I just posted in two other topics today that I wished I could have another... Now I will kind of get one. I'm going to have to buy a bigger house! I know she's luckier than most, she has a car, a home, and a family that would die for her but the future is on her shoulders. Just like the rest of the teens on here, I can only hope she makes better choices from here on out.

This whole post is truly sad. While both sides made valid points, the way you try to get your point across is kind of disheartening.

I believe over 18 is a young adult. Where I live 18 is the legal age to have sex so if you're legal then if you choose to start a family, so be it. It doesn't mean that it's the smartest decision but its legally yours to make. I do think having 2 kids under 17 is irresponsible only because technically you're still a child no matter what you may own or have. Mentally, you're a teen but you're carrying adult responsibilities. I don't think it necessarily means you're a bad parent though.

And I hate when people say that are strong because they handled school etc with a child. That was your choice to carry the child. All you did was continue doing what every other teen is suppose to be doing. If you want to say you're PROUD of yourself that's totally different but doing what you're suppose to do and being responsible as a teen/young adult/ adult isn't being strong, it's just doing the normal things you should be doing

theres nothing wrong with being a teen mum, I had my first when I was 16 under really crappy circumstances and I did ok my boy is happy healthy and in school. Don't let anyone's opinion put you down or let it bother you. Do what makes you happy, sure its hard but who said life was easy? Hang in there im sure your an excellent mum. Message me if you like im 20 on the 30th march and have a 4 yr old boy

ur suposivky 23 but u act like a child

<blockquote><b>Quoting Olympia Vann:</b>" ur suposivky 23 but u act like a child"</blockquote>




I'm 24 now.   get over it.