What's wrong with me?
posted 21st Feb
I feel like such an idiot, me and this guy have been talking since about a month after me and my DDs father broke up, we broke up when I was 9 weeks, my DDs father ended up getting arrested a few weeks after we broke up. That guy I have been talking to has wanted to date me since we started talking but I didn't think I was ready till now, so we decided to slowly take it to that level . Then today my DD father called my mom to see how she was doing, which is something he has done since she was born but today he told her he just found out he is going to serve 5 or more years.... And hearing that really upset me. I knew that was going to happen and I knew he probably would get convicted and never be allowed around her, it's just hard to take in I guess but ever since I heard about him I have been second guessing moving on with that other guy , a whole bunch of emotions just overwhelmed me... Any advice ladies.
quoteposted 21st Feb
Nobody wants to hear that. Expected or not. He is the father of your child. Nobody wants to tell their baby that their daddy is a prison pal.
quoteposted 21st Feb
What did he do to be put in prison?
And do you have any feelings for your BD? If you do and think you may not be able to move past them, I suggest you not date the new guy.
quoteposted 21st Feb
<blockquote><b>Quoting Not tellin:</b>" Nobody wants to hear that. Expected or not. He is the father of your child. Nobody wants to tell their baby that their daddy is a prison pal."</blockquote>
Yeah, I don't know like what I'm going to tell her when she asks why she doesn't have a dad, I don't want her to think its her fault... I just don't know what to think at this point...
quoteposted 21st Feb
<blockquote><b>Quoting Gemmas mommy!:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Not tellin:</b>" Nobody wants to hear that. Expected or not. ... [snip!] ... asks why she doesn't have a dad, I don't want her to think its her fault... I just don't know what to think at this point..."</blockquote>
She won't think it is her fault. He is in prison. He didn't leave and go get a new family for you to explain. That is where they take blame. Don't stress. She might not even think twice about it. Not that this is a good thing but, it appears single parenting is more the norm than not. Don't stress until you cross that bridge. Enjoy her. These moments go fast!!!
quoteposted 21st Feb
<blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" What did he do to be put in prison? And do you have any feelings for your BD? If you do and think you may not be able to move past them, I suggest you not date the new guy."</blockquote>
It was a very complicated situation , but when we broke up he went to a party with his friend got drunk and he met this girl and he hooked up with her , she lied to him about everything including her name , he found out when he got arrested she was under the age to concent. So he's in for statutory rape. I thought I was over him but today when I found this out it crushed me to know I won't ever be able to be with him again.
quoteposted 21st Feb
<blockquote><b>Quoting Not tellin:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Gemmas mommy!:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Not tellin:</b>" ... [snip!] ... single parenting is more the norm than not. Don't stress until you cross that bridge. Enjoy her. These moments go fast!!!"</blockquote>
They really do its hard to believe she's almost a month old. I guess it just scares me that this could eventually hurt her.
quoteposted 21st Feb
<blockquote><b>Quoting Gemmas mommy!:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Not tellin:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Gemmas mommy!:</b>" ... [snip!] ... They really do its hard to believe she's almost a month old. I guess it just scares me that this could eventually hurt her."</blockquote>
Be the best mommy you can be. That is all you can do. There are many things in the world that are going to hurt her. Just guide her as best as you can to believe in herself, trust in her self worth and to be secure in who she is.
quoteposted 21st Feb
Quoting Gemmas mommy!:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" What did he do to be put in prison? And do ... [snip!] ... rape. I thought I was over him but today when I found this out it crushed me to know I won't ever be able to be with him again."
How long have you been broken up? I know it took me almost a year of being away from BD before I got over him. I had to force myself to stay away because I would run back to him. (He is a no-good deadbeat. Never met DD.
Maybe you need time to heal.
quoteposted 21st Feb
<blockquote><b>Quoting Not tellin:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Gemmas mommy!:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Not tellin:</b>" ... [snip!] ... to hurt her. Just guide her as best as you can to believe in herself, trust in her self worth and to be secure in who she is."</blockquote>
I will.
quoteposted 21st Feb
<blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" How long have you been broken up? I know it took me almost a year of being away from BD before I got ... [snip!] ... myself to stay away because I would run back to him. (He is a no-good deadbeat. Never met DD. Maybe you need time to heal. "</blockquote>
In July it will be a year, but I never stopped talking to him , we were hoping he would win in trial but there's no hope now. I think what need is some time to heal, and sometime to get my brain wrapped around the idea that I can't ever be with him again.
quoteposted 21st Feb
Quoting Gemmas mommy!:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" How long have you been broken up? I know it ... [snip!] ... think what need is some time to heal, and sometime to get my brain wrapped around the idea that I can't ever be with him again."
Yeah, when I was broken up with BD, but still talking to him I couldn't get over him. (It didn't help that he would always want to have sex)
But when I finally said enough was enough and quit taking his calls or texts and deleted his number I started healing and getting my self-worth back. I realized that I was much better off without him and I'm a much better person for it.
quoteposted 21st Feb
<blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" Yeah, when I was broken up with BD, but still talking to him I couldn't get over him. (It didn't help ... [snip!] ... healing and getting my self-worth back. I realized that I was much better off without him and I'm a much better person for it."</blockquote>
That's what I'm think I'm going to have to do, except the only time I talk to him it's going to have to strictly be about Gemma , which should be easy since I can only write him letters and send him pictures of her. Hope fully that will help get me back to the way used to be before him and all this happened.
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