re: Why does he give me so much trouble???

Quoting Minion:" <blockquote><b>Quoting MommaNoodle:</b>" yeah, i basically purposely ignore a lot. ... [snip!] ... she does spit, though. so, i get spat on a lot. "</blockquote> He has never spit thank god. I hope he never does."

i know. i hate that about her. i find that to be the most disrespectful. my daughter's father would spit on me sometimes when he was mad (along with other physical things). i had never had anyone do that to me before. it's just super degrading and angering. it's obv worse for an adult to do it to you, lol. but just as disrespectful for a child to. i don't tolerate it very well, especially because of my past experience with my daughter's father. she's gotten better with that too, but... it still happens sometimes.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Talena_caro:</b>" You did the right thing to get him into his ... [snip!] ... kids that I know of. Even my mom and dad say that they're worried he's going to hurt DD one day. (He plays really rough too.)"</blockquote>

ODD is oppositional defiant disorder, comes hand in hand with ADHD a lot of the times. It's basically a pattern of disobedience, hostility and anger towards authority figures, what ever you say, your wrong and they are right..they can't take responsibility over their actions, normally takes 2-3 times longer to teach someone with ODD they have done wrong than it does with a normal child and paired with ADHD it just making it that much harder.

You are not alone hun, not at all! And it's hard so very especially when your friends kids are close to saint like behavour and your running behind your Kid. I used to sit and watch all the kids going home from nursery hand in hand with their mums then look at my DD under my arm flipping because she didn't want to leave, then think to myself 'am I the only one?' But your not and IMO you did the right thing.

I would watch him around your DD when he is flipping out just incase, but have you ever heard of 1,2,3 magic.. Works good on ADHD children and also on normal kids..just watching the video made me feel soo much better,

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommaNoodle:</b>" just a note... my bf's daughter is supposedly ADHD as well. and i think they also thought she had ODD, ... [snip!] ... at the time of her "diagnosis" with the ADHD, she was also having actual medical issues that were not being take care of...."</blockquote>




Well DS was born to a mom who abused all kinda of drugs and cigarettes and alcohol while she was pregnant with him. SO thinks that it has something to do with that, but the doctor said he doesn't think so.

I often think I'm doing wrong by DS because of all the tantrums, but just now he came up and hugged me and said he loves me and I'm the best mommy ever. (He hasnt seen his real mom in over a year, almost 2) So I must not be doing as bad as I think, right? He's eating his bedtime snack now and laughing with DD.

Quoting Minion:" <blockquote><b>Quoting MommaNoodle:</b>" just a note... my bf's daughter is supposedly ... [snip!] ... over a year, almost 2) So I must not be doing as bad as I think, right? He's eating his bedtime snack now and laughing with DD."

well, tantrums don't mean they don't love you. i mean, i personally know that my bf's daughter doesn't really like me that much. she has a mom who gives in to everything she wants, and my bf's mom does too. so... she doesn't particularly like me because she doesn't really need me. lol. but, i know when my own daughter has tantrums, she still loves me. and this kid pretty much only has you, so it's the same thing. does that make sense?

tantrums are their way of expressing frustration, but also of testing you, seeing what you'll do.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" ... [snip!] ... entertainment from my son's day and his behavior improved a lot. At first it was a struggle but its made a big difference."</blockquote>



I've told him if he hits people when he's older he will go to jail. I also told him people will start calling him a bully if he doesn't be nice and no one wants to be friends with a bully. That made him sad. He was better for a while afte that.

I think I might take away his TV for real and see how that goes. He doesn't use any electronics besides that.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Talena_caro:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Talena_caro:</b>" ... [snip!] ... of 1,2,3 magic.. Works good on ADHD children and also on normal kids..just watching the video made me feel soo much better,"</blockquote>




I have never heard of that. I will look it up. And thank you.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommaNoodle:</b>" just a note... my bf's daughter is supposedly ADHD as well. and i think they also thought she had ODD, ... [snip!] ... at the time of her "diagnosis" with the ADHD, she was also having actual medical issues that were not being take care of...."</blockquote>

Real ADHD IMO is easily controlled with medication, for my daughter it is.. Helps her focus and she's became less of a danger to herself and other around her, but the ODD is the killer..it's like living with a hormonal teen and it makes teaching her harder because in her mind I am always wrong until I prove other wise. She is a great kids but She just has her days.

I see a lot of people on her from America mostly with kids with ADD/autism/ADHD. I dunno how they diagnosis in the US but in the UK your made to go through a long proccess of meetings, observations, tests and other things before they hand out a diagnosis.. My daughter waited for hers from 4 and we only just got it before she turned 8. Very uncommon here to hear about a diagnosised kid younger than 6.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Talena_caro:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" ... [snip!] ... video made me feel soo much better,"</blockquote> I have never heard of that. I will look it up. And thank you.  "</blockquote>

Honestly even for any mum at the end of her tether, the way this guy talks just makes you think ' I totally get what your saying!! Thank god someone gets it!!!' Lol but it's easy to follow buy hard to imply at once but my kids all work on it...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" ... [snip!] ... while afte that. I think I might take away his TV for real and see how that goes. He doesn't use any electronics besides that."</blockquote>




He needs to have REAL consequences for physically abusing people.

Quoting Talena_caro:" <blockquote><b>Quoting MommaNoodle:</b>" just a note... my bf's daughter is supposedly ... [snip!] ... for hers from 4 and we only just got it before she turned 8. Very uncommon here to hear about a diagnosised kid younger than 6."

here, they don't diagnose it younger than about 5 or 6 also (or school age). my bf's ex was trying to say the kid had it forever, like since she was 3 or so. i didn't think it was necessarily possible to even say that. but, she's a weirdo (bf's ex), lol. and i really have no idea how they even diagnosed it or if they did for real at all because you are supposed go through tests and observations as well. and, part of the process is observing the child in more than one setting and ruling out actual medical problems. so.... i was absolutely confused about it too. the ex wanted to medicate the kid, but my bf didn't agree with that at the time. he wanted to see if it could be managed in another way, since medication id only half the treatment anyway. the other half is behavior modification. so, it seemed natural to just try intense behavior modification first and see how it went, then use medication as a last resort. so far, we have not had to medicate, and i think that is best. i work with kids like this, so i kind of see it all the time. some are medicated, some aren't. and some of the behaviors my bf's daughter exhibited wouldn't even be "fixed" with medication anyway.

and this is sad of me to say, but.... the kid isn't that great of a kid personality-wise. i know that sounds awful, but it's true. if she was a nice/good kid in general, but just had a hard time with certain things, i could be okay. but she's just rude and annoying all the time. idk how else to explain it. like i said, i work with kids who are like this, and a lot of them are basically "good" kids, but they just have some behavior issues. you can sometimes see the good and realize that they just need a little extra help. i have failed to see the "good" in my bf's daughter and that makes me sad to say....

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommaNoodle:</b>" well, tantrums don't mean they don't love you. i mean, i personally know that my bf's daughter doesn't ... [snip!] ... thing. does that make sense? tantrums are their way of expressing frustration, but also of testing you, seeing what you'll do."</blockquote>



That does make sense. He used to tell me he doesn't like me and he wants his real mommy, but over time he has started telling people I'm his mom. And he invites me to parent events at school.

I think he's starting to realize his real mom isn't there for him like a mom should be.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" ... [snip!] ... use any electronics besides that."</blockquote> He needs to have REAL consequences for physically abusing people."</blockquote>

Since this is the Internet and you can't see faces or hear tones of voices I just want to say this is purely curioisty, no offence intended.

How would you deal with a child being phyically abusive?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Talena_caro:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting MommaNoodle:</b>" just a note... my bf's daughter is supposedly ... [snip!] ... for hers from 4 and we only just got it before she turned 8. Very uncommon here to hear about a diagnosised kid younger than 6."</blockquote>




The doctor said he has signs when he was 4, but they wouldn't test him until at least 5, but SO doesn't think he needs to be tested.

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommaNoodle:</b>" here, they don't diagnose it younger than about 5 or 6 also (or school age). my bf's ex was trying to ... [snip!] ... that they just need a little extra help. i have failed to see the "good" in my bf's daughter and that makes me sad to say.... "</blockquote>

Oh if they have it you will start to see if around the age of 3 coming into play. My daughter is medicated but I sat with her and spoke about it so she could decide too and she wanted it because she, in her own words said "I want the motor to stop, I want control now.." Her meds only control her hyperactivity so she can focus, nothing more. In britian my daughter is registered disabled because of how bad it is for her, she is a danger to herself. They way we are now she is happier than she has been for years because she can fit I'm better

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommaNoodle:</b>" here, they don't diagnose it younger than about 5 or 6 also (or school age). my bf's ex was trying to ... [snip!] ... that they just need a little extra help. i have failed to see the "good" in my bf's daughter and that makes me sad to say.... "</blockquote>




When DS isn't having his fits or playing rough he is absolutely one of the best kids I have ever been around. He cuddles, he hugs, and tells jokes. It's please and thank you, yes ma'am and no ma'am. It's just when he gets in his moods is when he's difficult.