My 3 year old... Sigh

My 3 year old does not sleep in her own bed on her own. Well she will, but not for me.

At her dads or if anyone else is watching her she will get tucked in close her eyes and go to sleep. If she wakes up she sneaks in to her dads room, sees he is asleep (or pretending to be) and goes back to her bed and back to sleep. She will do this for other people to unless I am home.

When I'm home when it comes times to bed she will scream and cry for easily an hour and a half until I go in and lay down next to her. She will fall asleep and I sneak out. She wakes during the night and cries for me and needs me to lay down again so she goes back to sleep. I am up and down anywhere from 1-4 times a night (and she is 4 on September).

I know she can do it without the tears and she just puts it on for me.

What do I do to break this habit. If I ignore her she screams and cries and I am exhausted. I work full time.

Ive tried rewarding her for laying down. Telling her two minutes another minute etc trying to get her to rest and just fall asleep for waiting. Closing her door and ignoring her.

Please help. I'm so lost

She does it because she knows you'll give in. You have to stick to it, it should only take a night or two.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" She does it because she knows you'll give in. You have to stick to it, it should only take a night or two."</blockquote>




How many hours will it take for her to stop crying and fall asleep roughly?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" She does it because she knows you'll give in. ... [snip!] ... only take a night or two."</blockquote> How many hours will it take for her to stop crying and fall asleep roughly?"</blockquote>




It depends but I've never seen a kid that age (baby sat, nannied and taised my nephew) last longer then 1.5 hours 2 tops. I've had to do it on a few occasions and its hard cause you're tired and also wanna just scoop them up but if she is ok with others I would say its just a show to get what she wants.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" ... [snip!] ... you're tired and also wanna just scoop them up but if she is ok with others I would say its just a show to get what she wants."</blockquote>




I know. It's good to hear this from another mum. My SO says it but it just annoys me because he doesn't understand how hard it is to hear her crying my name and asking why I don't love her.  

Quoting Onalee's Mummy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" She does it because she knows you'll give in. ... [snip!] ... only take a night or two."</blockquote> How many hours will it take for her to stop crying and fall asleep roughly?"

you don't have to do anything besides communicate clearly about what's happening.

tell her she's going to sleep in her own bed like a big girl (you can tell her about how all big girls do this and only babies sleep w/ their mama) and that crying won't change that fact.

repeat as often as possible.

if she's gulping air upset from screaming and crying, i'd stand in the doorway and speak calmly and clearly and say, "time to sleep - close your eyes, i love you, good night"

don't go pick her up, just be clear, calm and loving... and then shut the door again.

it'll take a few repetitions, but probably only a night or two...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mara:</b>" you don't have to do anything besides communicate clearly about what's happening. tell her she's going ... [snip!] ... be clear, calm and loving... and then shut the door again. it'll take a few repetitions, but probably only a night or two... "</blockquote>




Exactly. You don't have to totally ignore her but just don't let her sleep anywhere but her bed. And have her fall asleep without you in the bed with her.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mara:</b>" you don't have to do anything besides communicate clearly about what's happening. tell her she's going ... [snip!] ... be clear, calm and loving... and then shut the door again. it'll take a few repetitions, but probably only a night or two... "</blockquote>




Thank you 

I will give this a go and Jenna's advice.

Fingers crossed this works

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mara:</b>" you don't have to do anything besides communicate ... [snip!] ... totally ignore her but just don't let her sleep anywhere but her bed. And have her fall asleep without you in the bed with her."</blockquote>


But that's the problem... She does only sleep in her bed but she expects me to sleep in there too

Quoting Onalee's Mummy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mara:</b>" you don't have to do anything besides communicate ... [snip!] ... a night or two... "</blockquote> Thank you  I will give this a go and Jenna's advice. Fingers crossed this works"

also, let her know that since you're pregnant, that's a very important reason you can't sleep w/ her anymore, and why it's very important that she - as the good big girl sister, lets mama sleep in her OWN bed w/ the new baby growing in her belly, b/c YOU need all the space and she's not a baby, but a big girl.

prepare her for it before bed. talk about it beforehand.

the fairer warning, the better chance you have actually getting it into her head that it's okay to change the way things are.