9 Months Post Partum...

And I still don't feel like myself whatsoever. Anyone else still not feel 100%?

I wasn't expecting to feel 100% in the blink of an eye, but geesh.. 9 months has gone by and I look in the mirror and barely recognize myself. I feel like I want to unzip my skin, step out and walk away.. weird, I know, but that's exactly how I feel. My body disgusts me, and no matter how well I eat & work out, I haven't lost a pound (since the initial 15lb drop after giving birth, but I gained 55lbs with my son). Breastfeeding hasn't helped!  

I'm sad a lot. I have zero energy - but it's like a roller coaster - one day I'm fine, high energy, feel good... then BAM! back to sad, insecure, and completely depressing to be around.

I've struggled with depression before, but have been fine up until giving birth. I mean, could this still be PPD? It's not like I want to kill myself, but my life just feels lackluster lately. I'm not excited about anything, and nothing feels positive.

I sort of feel like I robbed myself by choosing to have a baby, too. Don't get me wrong, I love my son endlessly. He's my world! I'm a stay at home mom, and I'm also struggling with that. I feel alone a lot of the time, while my husband works all day - to the point of (almost) resentment. I hate it!

So, I'm unsure whether this is just winter time blues or PPD? I need some sunshine back in my life.. I haven't had time for me in months.. I just miss a lot of things from before. My relationship with my husband, when I could be spontaneous and do anything, spending time with friends, work even.

I guess I just miss feeling like me, and not feeling like I'm on auto-pilot.

Anyone else? Advice?

Yes this sounds like ppd. You should talk to your doctor about it.

I've never gone back to feeling the same as before I had kids, but you should be able to get to a point where you're happy with the change.

I think it could be a touch of PPD, mine hit about 4 or 5 months after LO was born. It probably doesn't help that it's wintertime, too.  

If you're not opposed to trying medication, I used Celexa and it worked great! A lot of people have good results with a multi-B vitamin.

Hang in there mama, you don't have to feel like this forever!  

Quoting SavageDarling🌙:" Yes this sounds like ppd. You should talk to your doctor about it. I've never gone back to feeling the ... [snip!] ... back to feeling the same as before I had kids, but you should be able to get to a point where you're happy with the change."

Okay, maybe I will make an appointment then.

I just keep putting it off, because I'm happy with my son - I'm very happy to have him. I just have some really bad days where it makes me wonder, you know? I feel like I get better, then I put it off - then it comes back.. vicious cycle!

Quoting loser mom:" I think it could be a touch of PPD, mine hit about 4 or 5 months after LO was born. It probably doesn't ... [snip!] ... A lot of people have good results with a multi-B vitamin. Hang in there mama, you don't have to feel like this forever!  "

Thanks for the reply!

Do you feel the same things? I just kept telling myself, "Noo, it can't be PPD.. It's not consistent - and I don't have the suicidal feelings, blah, blah.." so I always talk myself out of it.

I've been on Prozac before and didn't like how it made me feel, but I have heard of Celexa. Maybe that would be a miracle drug for me  

Yeah, winter can be done anytime - I need to get outside more and feel the breeze on my face! I even have a light for Seasonal Affective Disorder.. it helps some days.

<blockquote><b>Quoting SavageDarling🌙:</b>" Yes this sounds like ppd. You should talk to your doctor about it. I've never gone back to feeling the ... [snip!] ... back to feeling the same as before I had kids, but you should be able to get to a point where you're happy with the change."</blockquote>




This! And it gets easier as they get more independent

Sorry you feel like this.
Firstly Id ask the doctor to check your bloods to rule out anaemia/thyroid problem or any other thing like that.
It could be ppd. I have had depression in past and knew I was at risk of this so I made a plan to avoid it and so far its worked. I get out of the house every single day, even if its just for a short time. Some days we will call to a friends or family. Most days we go for long walks with the dog. I meet other mothers for walks and coffees etc. Tomorrow we start baby massage and Im looking into joining a baby group. I make lots of plans and my weeks are always pretty full with lots to look forward to.
The thing I enjoy the most are long walks and its really helped me to drop the weight too.

Quoting hiljoys:" Thanks for the reply! Do you feel the same things? I just kept telling myself, "Noo, it can't be PPD.. ... [snip!] ... to get outside more and feel the breeze on my face! I even have a light for Seasonal Affective Disorder.. it helps some days. "

Yeah, I had a lot of the same symptoms - sadness, fatigue, and every little thing would piss me off!   I didn't feel suicidal, but lots of days I felt like running away. I just *knew* something wasn't right.

I didn't have any side effects from the Celexa - I just felt more & more like myself, able to enjoy my baby and life!   I took it for several months and then weaned myself off.

I have ppd, and I'm the same way. One minute I'm fine , and they next I'm a mess. Give your Dr. a call, it's fairly common and pretty easily managed these days, but it's important that you get help with it, or it will continue to get worse. It took me a while to admit it to myself, and then even longer to admit it to anyone in my family, or my Dr. but I'm glad I did, I'm really starting to feel better these days.

Good luck and hang in there