re: What would you think????

Quoting JessCleavage:"   Maybe he's just trying to assert his say so in how things are handled with the little chunk ... [snip!] ... the little chunk of woman? (she's sooo stinking cute btw   I love her face when she frets her eyebrows in concentration  )"

 

He drives me nuts. He is so smurfing crazy about things.

Quoting TantricLemons:" He does this with other things too. If it comes out of my mouth its likely to be wrong. He doesnt say so but when i am gone does it the way he wants."

That's not right - he needs to trust your judgement and experience. He has never cloth-diapered or breastfed so there's no reason for him to think he is right and you are wrong.

Quoting TantricLemons:" He does this with other things too. If it comes out of my mouth its likely to be wrong. He doesnt say so but when i am gone does it the way he wants."

I was gonna say, he sounds like know it all or something. Either he thinks he's always right, or he's breaking the dishes to get out of washing them, so to speak.

Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" I was gonna say, he sounds like know it all or something. Either he thinks he's always right, or he's breaking the dishes to get out of washing them, so to speak."

The root of the problem is he has no respect for me. He immediately doubts what I say. And honestly I feel it has more to do with misogyny than anything. I have seen him take what men say way more seriously. And its enraging. I don't think I am meant to be in relationships. I refuse to compromise my values or be disrespected. I love living alone and parenting alone.

Quoting TantricLemons:" The root of the problem is he has no respect for me. He immediately doubts what I say. And honestly I ... [snip!] ... am meant to be in relationships. I refuse to compromise my values or be disrespected. I love living alone and parenting alone."

Yeah, I couldn't be happy with someone like that either & would much prefer to parent alone rather than be not taken seriously because of my sex. Lameballs.

Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" Yeah, I couldn't be happy with someone like that either & would much prefer to parent alone rather than be not taken seriously because of my sex. Lameballs."

It blows because once you are aware and you see misogyny in interactions you can't ever turn it off. I feel like the feminist killjoy sometimes. He listens to his male friends and their advice, but not mine. Earlier this year he decided (without me) he was going to buy a scooter, didn't tell me until the day he spend the $500 on it. He doesn't have a license so I tried to tell him that I am pretty sure he needs a license. He tells me no he doesn't that not for this kind of scooter. So I look it up and he does, i tell him not to buy it that he needs a license and he tells me i am wrong. He buys it, guess what? You need a license and insurance and now he can't use it. Then I end up backing off and not saying anything more because I don't want to make him feel stupid, but the root of things makes me so upset. ANYTHING i say is wrong.

That would infuriate me! He doesn't seem to value your experience and knowledge of these things. He seems like he just takes things at face value and that becomes what's right in his mind and so therefore he believes you're wrong. I would not be okay with that either. I'm sorry you're going through that.

Quoting mom2dom&vin:" That would infuriate me! He doesn't seem to value your experience and knowledge of these things. He seems ... [snip!] ... his mind and so therefore he believes you're wrong. I would not be okay with that either. I'm sorry you're going through that."

thanks  

It makes me feel better to know I am not crazy. So I can take it and store it and make the right decision when the time is right.

Quoting TantricLemons:" It blows because once you are aware and you see misogyny in interactions you can't ever turn it off. ... [snip!] ... anything more because I don't want to make him feel stupid, but the root of things makes me so upset. ANYTHING i say is wrong."

That would make me rage. I know what you mean, though---I pick up on veiled (and not so cleverly veiled) misogyny in everything and it drives me bonkers.I guess you can only get catcalled and harassed and targeted so many times like most of us have before you just really start having a zero tolerance policy.


But yeah, it's no fun to be around somebody who is contrary as smurf all the time.

Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" That would make me rage. I know what you mean, though---I pick up on veiled (and not so cleverly veiled) ... [snip!] ... start having a zero tolerance policy. But yeah, it's no fun to be around somebody who is contrary as smurf all the time. "

Yeah I have a zero tolerance policy. And when we met because we both exist in the anarchist-feminist community I thought that he wouldn't be so smurfing misogynistic.... wrong. Smurf that smurf.

Quoting TantricLemons:" Yeah I have a zero tolerance policy. And when we met because we both exist in the anarchist-feminist community I thought that he wouldn't be so smurfing misogynistic.... wrong. Smurf that smurf."

That's so bizarre that he ended up being that way. What a load of horse smurf.

Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" That's so bizarre that he ended up being that way. What a load of horse smurf. "

I feel like I got tricked. I do not tolerate "bro" mentality. Its like even when he tries to help its offensive. I say I am overwhelmed and I need help (we both work and go to school mind you) and so he disregards what I say I need and makes me pasta (which i don't eat because I like to keep my body clean) or makes cookies (which i had just said i am cutting the sugar out of the house since my kid can't stop being hyperactive). Its like he hears what I say I needs, then thinks that it cant possible be THAT, I obviously need something else and decides it for me. I know it sounds a bit like I am an ungrateful brat, because he is doing things for me. But it just tells me that he doesn't believe me when i say what i need which is infuriating. Or doesn't care that I have said over and over that i REALLY don't like/want those things.

"oh i know you say you dont like gatorade, but try this gatorade, its really good and you will love it"
I take a sip and its disgusting.... because i dont like gatorate.
Its like he doesn't believe anything i say >.<

haha thanks for letting me vent

Quoting TantricLemons:"   He drives me nuts. He is so smurfing crazy about things."

I have a feeling DH is gonna be like that when Skylar gets here....

Quoting JessCleavage:" I have a feeling DH is gonna be like that when Skylar gets here...."

It is really difficult to combine families. More difficult than I have patience for.

Quoting TantricLemons:" It is really difficult to combine families. More difficult than I have patience for."

Yep. I have a daughter and he had a son and now we wil have one together so it's been pretty tough on us. His son has been acting out a lot at school (he's 13) and my daughter has been really mouthy but I also think that is because she goes to her dads every other week and he lets her do whatever.

It is very difficult at the end of the day.