Sex after miscarriage.

So, I've read many different opinions and recommendations about when you should resume sex. Most common I've hear you can start after you've stopped bleeding, and I've also heard three weeks (yikes).

Call me a hippy, or whatevs, but I'm one of those firm believers in listening to your body, and what it's telling you. For example, before any sign or complications, I knew something wasn't right, I even told my boyfriend "I know something is wrong, I just don't feel pregnant, my body is telling me I'm not pregnant." And of course being to sweetie he is, he was like "Don't be so negative, you're just scared, ect." Sure enough, I miscarried last night.

Now for me, I was so early and it was so painless I hadn't even known I passed it, I pretty much just felt like I had my period, with LESS cramps. I only bled for about three days, tops and have already stopped.

My body is telling me it's ok, but I'm still playing it safe and at least waiting until next week, I'm just curious to know other's outlook and opinion on this.

And yes, we do plan on trying again, and I feel like this experience has been for the better and has given me a push to take better care of myself as well, and hopefully nature will run its course and give me a healthy little bean. :]

So I ask you, ladies, what's your opinion on the matter?

First off I'm sorry for your loss. I had a late miscarriage in 2011. I was 16 weeks. I listend to my body. My doctor told me to wait 6 weeks before having sex but I just basically waited until I felt I was ready. We started having sex again like around the 3rd week. Since you really weren't that far along you may be able to do it sooner. Just listen to your body if you do try to. If it is uncomfortable or hurts then stop. I know I felt exactly like you did about the pregnancy too. I felt like I wasn't pregnant at all, like the baby wasn't really there. I knew something was wrong from the moment I got a positive test at the hospital. It was a surprise positive but I still felt something was not quite right. I felt like the baby didn't belong to us. It was a weird feeling. I didn't even get attached to it. When I lost it I found out it was a boy. I had him naturally. But as far as the sex goes, just take it slow and give your body time to rest a bit. Some get pregnant right away and end up with healthy babies in the end but some have subsequent miscarriages because their body wasn't ready to hold another so soon. It just all depends on the person.

Quoting Katie & Clay's Mommy!:" First off I'm sorry for your loss. I had a late miscarriage in 2011. I was 16 weeks. I listend to my ... [snip!] ... some have subsequent miscarriages because their body wasn't ready to hold another so soon. It just all depends on the person."

Thanks so much. And it feels so good to know someone else felt this way too. I felt guilty, and even some of my friends were like "No, it just feels that way because it's such a big surprise." But I KNEW in my heart of hearts that that wasn't it, at all. Yes, I know doctors know what they're talking and are well educated, but I feel like nothing can be as accurate as your own intuition, especially if it's your body that's nagging at you. I felt guilty because last night when I found out, I didn't break down like I did on Monday when I started bleeding heavier, I think it's because when I got home Monday, and the following days, I had already grieved it and coped with the fact that this just wasn't meant to be.

I know it's going to be really hard the next time around (I really hope there is one, knock on wood), but I think this experience helped get me more in tune with my body and to LISTEN to it when it's telling me something just isn't right.

Quoting Smushy Snugglebites:" Thanks so much. And it feels so good to know someone else felt this way too. I felt guilty, and even ... [snip!] ... this experience helped get me more in tune with my body and to LISTEN to it when it's telling me something just isn't right."

No there is no amount of education that can tell you more than your own body. I have learned to listen to my body so much since losing DJ that I can tell the moment the egg releases from my follicle. It's weird but true. Cuz when I ovulate (which I dont think I will this cycle) I get the pains on which ever side. Well the moment the egg releases the pain just subsides. It's crazy. I'm still waiting patiently for that day to come where I get to say we'll be having another baby, hopefully one that will stay with us. Until then I'm not going to worry so much. I go to the doctor on the 28th so maybe she can shed some light on reasons why we may not have conceived. I know it takes a healthy couple a year sometimes more to conceive but it's over a year now. Right now I'm thinking it's more my husband may have low testosterone and sperm count which is why we BD less often. I was hoping this month would be a winner but since it doesn't look like I'll ovulate I guess not. It's past the CD where I usually ovulate. I usually ovulate on CD19 but that was I think yesterday. It may just be late. I know one time I ovulated on CD 25 so maybe it will just be later. I'm going get some more opks when we leave this evening. But I hope it happens again for you soon. Just listen to your body. Don't rush having sex just because you want to try again. It can actually do more harm than good. Just be patient. And to be honest I really didn't break down right when we found out we had lost DJ. I actually didn't break down until later that evening. Something in me told me that I would not get to keep him from the very beginning. I just hope the next time around for both of us does not feel this way. But just remember you're not a horrible mom or should feel guilty for feeling this way. We felt this way for a reason. It was God's way of letting our babies go ahead of time.

Quoting Katie & Clay's Mommy!:" No there is no amount of education that can tell you more than your own body. I have learned to listen ... [snip!] ... feel guilty for feeling this way. We felt this way for a reason. It was God's way of letting our babies go ahead of time."

Ugh, I feel for you. When I found out I had a tilted uterus, I couldn't help but feel like it's my fault we're having a hard time (the nurse gave me a nice little tip about having a pillow resting under my back, it was kind of awkward at the time, but we'll be taking that advice for sure, lol).

And I guess it's not even fair I say that, some women have been trying for much, much longer. We pretty much JUST started trying, before last month we were just kind of like, "Whatever happens, happens." But now that we're actually trying, it was SO, SO incredibly exciting to get pregnant that fast, I didn't even consider the possibility of miscarriage. It just kind of slapped me in the face, and after sleepless, research filled nights I've noticed it's actually a much more common thing than I ever realized.

And have you spoke to your SO about the possibility of it being on his end? I'd imagine that's hard to go about, not just something you bring up at dinner, lol.


As for the sex, well, I haven't been bleeding for a couple days but I still wanted to play it safe at least until the weekend to be sure. At this point we can't keep our effing hands off each other! Lol. So I can't even lie and say I'm waiting longer. On the plus side, my body does feel ready. Whether we TRY, or just have sex is kind of up in the air. It usually ends up being one of those heat of the moment things anyway.

I've also decided to pick up some prenatals, the doctor said it doesn't hurt at all to take them while you're TTC, so right now I'm just trying to nourish and take better care of myself now that my eyes have been open to this, and I'm really hoping next time around is easier for both of us. At this point I'm just like, "Come one, just one baby. At this point I'll take just ONE baby. I just want a little bean." Haha. We should keep in touch, TTC buddies, lol. I really hope it isn't long until your next!

And I hope I can someday be even close to that in touch with my body that I can feel myself ovulating! Lol. I don't know if it's because I'm new to all of this or what, but sometimes to me it's like a foreign language. Hahah.

Quoting Smushy Snugglebites:" Ugh, I feel for you. When I found out I had a tilted uterus, I couldn't help but feel like it's my fault ... [snip!] ... I just want a little bean." Haha. We should keep in touch, TTC buddies, lol. I really hope it isn't long until your next! "

Yes we have thought about it and talked about it possibly being on his side. I went ahead and bought some B6 cuz I think they say B6 helps men have better quality, motility, and count. I also bought some Fish Oil pills. They say the Omega 3 in them help out women very well. So I really do hope we don't have a long wait. I actually thought I was not going to ovulate this cycle but I miscalculated. I took an opk earlier and the second line is very distinct. So hopefully in the next day or two it'll be positive and I O. I also had some very stretchy CM. So it's a good sign. I'm hoping we don't have much longer to wait. I'm hoping this year is the magical year.

But as long as your body is ready to go ahead and do it then go for it. I know how it is not to be able to keep your hands off your SO. I'm like that with my husband all the time. With ovulation approaching it's even harder. I'm always super horny around O time.

Quoting Smushy Snugglebites:" And I hope I can someday be even close to that in touch with my body that I can feel myself ovulating! ... [snip!] ... Lol. I don't know if it's because I'm new to all of this or what, but sometimes to me it's like a foreign language. Hahah."

It takes a while to actually look for the signs that go on with your body. Some women don't feel ovulation so you may be one of those that don't so you won't feel yourself ovulate. I feel the difference in my lower abdomen when I'm ovulating. I can't explain it but it just feels different. Before I could not feel any of this or if I did I didn't know what it was. But I've learned to be in tune with my body and am more sensitive to slight changes.

So funny we were recently talking about this. I began to notice today some slight cramping/twinges/pressure. I don't know if it's too soon after the m/c to ovulate, but I've been 100% fine, even did the BD yesterday and today I'm noticing some very mild cramps and pressure, seems mostly on the right side but it's nothing painful. Just kind of that, "Ugh, not AF" kinda sensagtion. Lol.

Quoting Smushy Snugglebites:" So funny we were recently talking about this. I began to notice today some slight cramping/twinges/pressure. ... [snip!] ... and pressure, seems mostly on the right side but it's nothing painful. Just kind of that, "Ugh, not AF" kinda sensagtion. Lol."

Yea that's kinda what I got too. I actually got a positive opk early this morning but nothing an hour later so maybe my urine wasn't concentrated enough. But right now I have no symptoms except for the positive opk of ovulation. The CM and everything was a couple of days ago which is weird. I'm going to my doctor tomorrow. Maybe she can shed some light on the subject. When I miscarried I ovulated exactly two weeks later. But I'm hoping my doctor can do something for me or us because I am so tired of the wondering and guessing. It took us 2 months to conceive when we conceived our angel baby. It's been a year and a month and now nothing. I'm actually right now as I type getting some slight twinging in my right ovary. Not much just a bit of discomfort. Maybe I am ovulating now. My cycle has really been out of wack though. I'm ovulating later than normal and my luteal phase has shortened. She may have to do another blood panel on me and put me on something to regulate it. I mean I am ovulating or have been but its all out of wack. So if I could regulate things maybe we can get pregnant again. Try using opks and see what happens. I buy the Answer brand at Walmart. They're like 20.00 for a month supply.