it was 3:11 on a Thursday afternoon

When I heard the news of my half-brother Robert D. passing away..I was 7 years old and barely understood a thing about death..I had an uncle pass away just a few months earlier and knew the jist that he was never coming back..

it was about a month later that I was told that Rob had died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest.

He was ONLY 23 years old.

He had his whole life ahead of him, brothers & sisters who looked up to him like a father, and a best friend..

some days I just lay in bed and think of all the horrible things that have occurred in my life that I like to think wouldn't have happened if he were still here..but I have to come back to the realization that somethings are meant to happen for a reason..he would have been 40 years old this September..

why him?  

17 years later...I am still questioning why..

I'm sorry darlin

I'm so sorry. I will never understand it either. Three years ago my best friend hung himself. He had suffered from depression, but whenever he felt really low, he would just call me or come visit. I guess I felt "safe" knowing that if he ever needed anything, he would come talk. I had talked to him the night before and everything seemed fine. Eight hours later, obviously nothing was okay. He was only 24.

I stopped trying to figure out why he did it. It just drove me crazy thinking I could have done something. I couldn't. No one could have.

I know it really never gets "better". You just learn to deal with the pain. I hope you find some peace and comfort wherever you can. I will keep you in my prayers and if you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to PM me. I know how bad it hurts and how helpless you feel. Stay strong and hang in there. <3