Quoting KNZ.:" So it's just another situation to set your child up for unnecessary, emotional pain? Why do that? "

I don't think they are purposely setting them up for unnecessary emotional pain, but I was just saying that can happen in any situation really. So I wouldn't be the one to say it would be more likely in one situation vs. another. Kwim?

Quoting IDGAF ❤:" I don't think they are purposely setting them up for unnecessary emotional pain, but I was just saying ... [snip!] ... happen in any situation really. So I wouldn't be the one to say it would be more likely in one situation vs. another. Kwim? "

eh i think there's a big difference between losing someone you've been calling 'mom' since birth and losing a friend, or even mom's boyfriend who wasn't given a title like that.

I don't find it weird. I called all of my friends mothers "mom" and vice versa with my mom.

I think it's odd. I don't see why she couldn't just be called "Aunt So&So". More appropriate IMO and less confusing to the child.

Quoting Kayla [ ]♥:" I don't find it weird. I called all of my friends mothers "mom" and vice versa with my mom."

again, i find this different than being raised from birth calling someone else 'mom', so you aren't capable of differentiating between mom and "mom" like you are when you're older and calling your friend's moms, "mom".

Quoting KNZ.:" again, i find this different than being raised from birth calling someone else 'mom', so you aren't ... [snip!] ... aren't capable of differentiating between mom and "mom" like you are when you're older and calling your friend's moms, "mom". "

It wasn't from BIRTH, but I wasn't "older." 2? 3?

I honestly don't know why everyone thinks it is so damaging and confusing to the child. My kids call both my best friend and I "Mom"...they have since they were born. My kids are not confused, they know which one of us they came out of....they just also know that they are so very loved by her as well. It's not taking anything away from them, it's adding more TO their life. She's my best friend - there is no way that we will ever not be in each other's lives, no way. My ex and I split up because he was extremely abusive (put me in the hospital, skull fractures, you name it...it was bad) and there was no way in hell I'd trust him with my babies. She was with me at the hospital, she helped me at home while I recovered from c-sections, she's been the one that I planned birthday parties with and she's sat countless sleepless nights at the hospital with me while Gabby fought for her life. They also call her Mom and Dad Grandma & Grandpa, and her siblings are Aunt & Uncle, just like mine. We are a two parent family, just not a traditional one. It has only made our family stronger.

Quoting KNZ.:" I couldn't do that. My son's 'dad' was never in the picture, and even in my most serious relationship ... [snip!] ... dealing with that 'mom' or 'dad' leaving- doesn't mean it's okay to unnecessarily set them up for something like that. "

I don't see that scenario possible in my life.

I mean, for a child to actually consider and love someone so much to award the "mom" or "dad" title, it has to be something more than a couple of days hanging out or a couple of visits per week/month/whatever.

The affection would have to be mutual. From the friend part, he/she must really feel such strong connection to the child. I honestly don't see it happening with the kind of friendships I have.

I love my bestfriend's kids to death and if they ever needed anything than I'm actually capable of doing for them, I'd do it but I don't think they will ever see me as something close as another mother. I think I'm pretty much like a cool aunt.

Quoting KNZ.:" Actually read it before just voting assuming it's about partners having children. A woman and man conceive ... [snip!] ... separate directions and now all of a sudden "mom" is gone? I'm just curious. And no, this isn't my own, personal situation."

Studies have shown that children of lesbians actually suffer LESS behavioral problems than children of heterosexual couples.

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" Studies have shown that children of lesbians actually suffer LESS behavioral problems than children of heterosexual couples. "

this isn't the child of a lesbian couple though. it's the child of a single mother who's having her bestfriend, who is a lesbian in her own relationship, be called mom.

<blockquote><b>Quoting KNZ.:</b>" this isn't the child of a lesbian couple though. it's the child of a single mother who's having her bestfriend, who is a lesbian in her own relationship, be called mom. "</blockquote>


But the child gets the same benefits that a child of a lesbian couple has: two moms.

Quoting KNZ.:" this isn't the child of a lesbian couple though. it's the child of a single mother who's having her bestfriend, who is a lesbian in her own relationship, be called mom. "

I'm confused... so the friend actually LIVES with the child.. and it's a partner more than a friend?

Quoting Butterbeer:" I'm confused... so the friend actually LIVES with the child.. and it's a partner more than a friend?"

no they don't live together, and they aren't together.
the mother is separated from the father, and straight.
the bestfriend is a lesbian in her own committed relationship.
the baby (around age 1) calls the best friend mom and his mother, mom.