Someone please help!!

I really need some help! My children will not listen to me. I find myself losing my temper way too often! My 5 yr old will not see me as the authority. She constantly talks back to me. She questions everything I tell her. My almost 3 ur old is even worse. She just completely ignores me. Its like I'm not even talking to her. By the end of the day, I sometimes just feel like leaving and not coming back. My husband is no help. He is a believer in yelling and spanking. I don't want that kind of environment for my family. I know I need to learn to speak more calmly to them. If I respect them, they will respect me back right? I guess my question is, what do I do right in the middle of these episodes? When my kids are disrespecting me, not listening to me, how would you handle it? I just feel like I'm failing as a parent.

you need to use consistansy and be right on them. if you threaten discipline or to take something away you must follow through. sorry to say but it is your fault they are this way, I sound mean BUT i am exactly where you are and this is what I am learining now, and with consitancy and discipline My kids are slowly turning around and we are getting compliments on their behaviour.. it is not easy but it can be done and i have been there and still am most days

it was my like lack of parenting that kinda made my kids the way they were along with their father over minding me.. I know its my fault my kids attitude is the way it is .. but its never to late to try and turn over a new leaf