I feel like im failing as a mom :( need ideas fast

im recently single.

this past year and a half has been a whirlwind of mutiple surgeries and their dad leaving (twice).

i have a 7 and 5 year old daughter, along with my baby who has medical issues.

i also work full time.

im just having such a difficult time juggling everything. my oldest is having a hard time with her dad leaving again, she keeps acting out at school. yesterday, she got her second detention, and a U on her math test.

i try taking things away from her. she lost her ipod for a week the last detention, she no longer has a tv in her room, her bed time was moved up a half hour. nothing works.

i study with her, do practice time tests with her at home for math. she is a smart girl, she does fine at home. its almost like she fails purposly at school.

ive had 2 meetings with the teacher, we both agree she is a SMART GIRL and not doing this because she doesnt get it, so she has to be doing it for attention.

i try giving her MORE attention (as much as i can!) make her feel like a big girl, have her be my helper, we do tons of fun stuff to, its not like her whole life is negative concequnces. but its hard for me to WANT to do fun stuf with her when she continues to mess up.

she was never ever like this before. i need ideas and i need them fast before she fails math this semeter ;(

Hugs momma! I have no real advice for you because i havent been there. But maybe try tking her out just you andher if you can? Can D pick her up and spend the day with her? Maybe she is just missing him pretty bad. Good luck qnd hugs. Youre not failing!

Quoting ☮ Phuket:" Hugs momma! I have no real advice for you because i havent been there. But maybe try tking her out just ... [snip!] ... Can D pick her up and spend the day with her? Maybe she is just missing him pretty bad. Good luck qnd hugs. Youre not failing!"

he works 3p-130am m-f. he does take them on saturday usually tho. i know she misses him tho   hes not seeing the girls enough at all. HOWEVER. he had them all day monday because they didnt have school and i worked, and tuesday is when she got the detention and failed test :/

Honestly it is pretty normal behavior for a child to do that kind of stuff when parents split up. You could try counselling for her.

I would say she is missing her dad and wants his attention. I don't think it's what you're doing (or not doing). I think she just wants her dad's attention and this is her way of trying to do that. Does dad get involved when she gets the detentions and bad grades?

Quoting Love my 3 kids:" I would say she is missing her dad and wants his attention. I don't think it's what you're doing (or ... [snip!] ... dad's attention and this is her way of trying to do that. Does dad get involved when she gets the detentions and bad grades?"

no he says "we have to do something" but he never does, im the one that has to seem like the bad guy.

i had planned a weekend getaway to a indoor water park this weekend, and now i dont even feel like going  

I'm sorry...   I wish I had some advice for you.

You're not failing as a mom! <3

Quoting I Stab People:" no he says "we have to do something" but he never does, im the one that has to seem like the bad guy. ... [snip!] ... the bad guy. i had planned a weekend getaway to a indoor water park this weekend, and now i dont even feel like going  "

Maybe a weekend away would help some? I know it may look like it's 'rewarding' her, but the time away from the house/stress of not having dad around may be something she needs?


Where were you guys going?! I love waterparks.

Quoting I Stab People:" no he says "we have to do something" but he never does, im the one that has to seem like the bad guy. ... [snip!] ... the bad guy. i had planned a weekend getaway to a indoor water park this weekend, and now i dont even feel like going  "

I'm thinking she is doing this so you'll get so upset with her that you'll send her to her dad for him to "deal with". Have you tried to talk to her to see what she is thinking? She may not tell you exactly what is going on but you may be able to get some ideas. Good Luck!! Hope things turn around for you soon.

Quoting Meg ♥:" Maybe a weekend away would help some? I know it may look like it's 'rewarding' her, but the time away ... [snip!] ... from the house/stress of not having dad around may be something she needs? Where were you guys going?! I love waterparks. "

were going to great wolf lodge in the poconos.

were going to go to kalahari but theyre closed saturday? for some odd reason, or sold out of rooms which i cant imagine in febuary.

Hey you are not failing as a mom at all... I've never had to deal with a divorce but I know that losing someone as a child either through divorce or death is difficult. They just don't understand why and they blame themselves, I'd just tell her if she feels mad, sad, hurt that you can talk to you about or if she would like to see the school counselor that its private an nobody will know. And of she won't talk to either then say she can express to her dad how she feels.


Btw how do you like Ohio we just moved here?

Quoting The Tsukuno family:" Hey you are not failing as a mom at all... I've never had to deal with a divorce but I know that losing ... [snip!] ... of she won't talk to either then say she can express to her dad how she feels. Btw how do you like Ohio we just moved here?"

OT: Beachwood is a great city. Do you like it so far?

It's cold lol... It's nice though most ppl r friendly and such.

Quoting The Tsukuno family:" It's cold lol... It's nice though most ppl r friendly and such."

It IS freezing. lol - where did you move from?

You are NOT failing as a mom! You are doing EVERYTHING you can for her.

You just need to keep doing what you're doing for her. She will thank you in the future.