How would you feel if your SO said this to you.

You: I wanna get married
Him: What changes when if you get married?
Me: Nothing really but it-
Him: Why not just change your last name to mine? Not get married.


Change my last name without getting married? I don't even know if I can do that :-/ Why not just get married. I asked him what holding him back and he said I want to have money to do it. I don't want a big wedding, I don't want huge ordeal.

Part of me thinks that he doesn't want to because of his parents. They got married at 19 and 26. Just horrible.

Honestly I'd be hurt that he wouldn't even listen to why I wanted to.. maybe ask why he is so against it?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Captain Lauren + ?:</b>" You: I wanna get married Him: What changes when if you get married? Me: Nothing really but it- Him: ... [snip!] ... huge ordeal. Part of me thinks that he doesn't want to because of his parents. They got married at 19 and 26. Just horrible. "</blockquote>




I'm too afraid to say I wana get married to my SO but I wish he would say it to me

I wouldnt change my name before marriage.

I guess it would depend on how long we were together.. But If in the end, we didn't want the same things then I would end it now rather than later.

I can see why other people would be upset, but if my SO said that I'd be happy. Shows he's committed to you, just doesn't want to make a big deal.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sarah Bare-ah♡:</b>" I wouldnt change my name before marriage."</blockquote>



 

When DH & I got together I told him I would someday want to be married & have one or two more kids. He NEVER wanted to get married or have anymore babies before I came along. I made it clear if he didn't have the same future in mind that we wouldn't work. 5 years later we're married with another baby girl  

I couldn't stay with someone who wouldn't marry me. I know a lot of people feel like it doesn't make a difference, and that's fine. I see it as a covenant. If it's not important to either person, than it doesn't matter. If it is important to one, then I don't see why the other wouldn't make the leap? Like he said... nothing would change, right?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Captain Lauren + ?:</b>" You: I wanna get married Him: What changes when if you get married? Me: Nothing really but it- Him: ... [snip!] ... huge ordeal. Part of me thinks that he doesn't want to because of his parents. They got married at 19 and 26. Just horrible. "</blockquote>



#1. I wouldn't TTC with anyone who doesn't want to get married. To me, the willingness to commit to marriage is like a test drive to the commitment of a child. The child is a much more important commitment to make and if he can't walk down an isle to say "I do", I question the ability to commit. That is just me.

#2. There is a possibility that he just isn't ready. I might sit and have a little bit of a talk about where he sees your relationship in 5 years. Sometimes, there are other things on the plate that are front and center distracting him from the big picture.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Elliot Reid:</b>" I can see why other people would be upset, but if my SO said that I'd be happy. Shows he's committed to you, just doesn't want to make a big deal."</blockquote>




How do you figure? If he is committed, he would have no issue doing it in front of "god" (if that is their belief) or legally. A change of the name doesn't make them married.

Quoting Not tellin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Captain Lauren + ?:</b>" You: I wanna get married Him: What ... [snip!] ... in 5 years. Sometimes, there are other things on the plate that are front and center distracting him from the big picture."

  This. All of this.

i wouldnt change my name.. it took me 5 months to change it after we got married. i was so iffy about changing it. lol

but thats not that bad i guess to say to you.. my husband has told me worse.

Quoting Elliot Reid:" I can see why other people would be upset, but if my SO said that I'd be happy. Shows he's committed to you, just doesn't want to make a big deal."

How does it show HE's committed? Because shes changing her name?

Quoting Sarah Bare-ah♡:" How does it show HE's committed? Because shes changing her name?"