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I cheated on my ex. I kind of feel like the only way you can continue a relationship is to tell the truth. It'd be 10x worse, IMO, if the person found out any other way than you just tellin the truth straight out.

I divorced my ex, btw. My cheating was just a symptom of MUCH larger problems. I felt awful. I told him the minute I got home from doing it.

I've never cheated, but have had a partner cheat. I know that he felt bad enough to confess to me and have an emotional break down... He said he cheated on me because he was angry with me.

I cheated on DH when we were dating. I came clean though I was confused about everything being committed again just scared the smurf out of me but he said he didn't care he loved me and was willing to keep trying and here we are.

I have before, yes I felt like smurf. I told my SO because I couldn't live with the guilt. Me and him were going through a really bad rough patch and let myself get stupid. We split up for like two weeks and he eventually forgave me. It still has an effect on our relationship to this day. I understand completely I would feel the same way. He's very clingy and suspicious of me and sometimes he has a hard time dealing with it. We work through it together and I don't give him any reason to be nervous now.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Glo♥:</b>" I cheated on DH when we were dating. I came clean though I was confused about everything being committed ... [snip!] ... again just scared the smurf out of me but he said he didn't care he loved me and was willing to keep trying and here we are."</blockquote>


SO said he'd leave me if he found out I ever cheated, on anyone. He was cheated on a lot and he doesn't want to put up with it. So i'm scared to tell him.

Quoting Venus Penis Trap.™:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Glo♥:</b>" I cheated on DH when we were dating. I came ... [snip!] ... found out I ever cheated, on anyone. He was cheated on a lot and he doesn't want to put up with it. So i'm scared to tell him."

How long ago was it?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Shibby.:</b>" How long ago was it?"</blockquote>


Like 2½ years ago.
ETA/ maybe 3.

Quoting Venus Penis Trap.™:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Shibby.:</b>" How long ago was it?"</blockquote> Like 2½ years ago."

Hmmm well, some may disagree with me but, if you have been good and intend on staying that way, sometimes it's best to "let sleeping dogs lie"

If it was recent I would say tell him, but imo it's been this long, I would just let it go. Sucks yes but it's probably for the better.

I met SO in June. We started more as fwb than anything. So I continued meeting other guys. Spent a couple weekends with one, felt like smurf at the time about it, because I knew SO had feelings for me by that point. But I later found out he had met me after he started seeing another girl only months prior and in October, he cheated on me with his ex, who he has a son with and is still married too  

We both came clean on it all, he hates that now, we only live up over a hill from the guy I cheated on him with.

I cheated on DD1's biological Dad. I think that was the beginning of the end. Which, I am okay with it ending, because I never had true feelings of love for him. If I did I wouldn't have felt like cheating.
Mind you, I did not sleep with another guy. I hung out with my ex behind his back and we ended up kissing. All of which was wrong. I did feel bad and didn't do it again after that, and he found out, which I think was the beginning of the end of our relationship.
I can absolutely say I will never cheat again. I truly love DH and don't see myself ever feeling the need for another man. I would never want to put a riff in our relationship, I like it just the way it is, honest and loving. I don't ever want the feeling of not being honest to it, either.

In my younger days I did ALOT of cheating. Drinking and drugs were also a huge part of it. I did cheat on DH when we were dating and felt awful. I made myself physically ill from thinking about it too much. To this day I still apologize to him about it and of course being the best husband ever he tells me "The past is the past and you've never given me a reason to distrust you since then".
Even though he forgave me I never really will forgive myself for it.

Quoting Shibby.:" Hmmm well, some may disagree with me but, if you have been good and intend on staying that way, sometimes ... [snip!] ... recent I would say tell him, but imo it's been this long, I would just let it go. Sucks yes but it's probably for the better."

But if it's weighing this heavily on your heart, will she ever feel "okay" about not coming clean? Or will the guilt continue to build up and cause a hole in the relationship?
I mean, I think being honest is key in a relationship, but if it wasn't bothering you, you wouldn't be having these feelings. I would say think on it and consider if this feeling of regret/guilt will go away on it's own or not. But like they say, the truth shall set you free. At least from these feelings your harboring. If you do think they will go away eventually, you could try to keep it a secret. GL

Quoting Lady GooGoo™:" But if it's weighing this heavily on your heart, will she ever feel "okay" about not coming clean? Or ... [snip!] ... least from these feelings your harboring. If you do think they will go away eventually, you could try to keep it a secret. GL"

I guess it really just depends on the person. I mean it's been 3 years since it has happened.

Quoting Shibby.:" I guess it really just depends on the person. I mean it's been 3 years since it has happened."

True, it does depend on the person. The only reason I think hiding it MAY not be the best thing for OP is because if she was able to let it go, you'd think she would have by now. But posting this shows that it is weighing on her, KWIM.