re: Help ! Scared 15 mommy to be

<blockquote><b>Quoting Itzeel1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" You're pregnant. Whether or not you have the ... [snip!] ... teen moms are going to fail. God puts each & everyone of us a challenge in our lives. it won't be easy but its NOT impossible."</blockquote>




Talk to me when you've been a teen mom.

I have. Let me assure you it's not butterflies and pancakes like you're thinking its going to be.

ok so some of you dont really like the way red bottom is saying things but as much as it may not be what op wants to hear at this moment its something she needs to consider. i dont feel she needs to give her baby up or abort i know she is capable of taking care of her baby. and yes i realize there are grown women out there doing worse off then the 15 yr olds having babies but red bottom has some valid points that op does need to consider. i dont necessarily agree with the wording or the way she comes off but i dont think red bottoms intentions are to come off as a bitch. she just trying to shove a little reality in the equation. and there is nothing wrong with her playing devils advocate. shes telling her the reality of what may happen and its something she needs to prepare herself for. shes headed down a long road of hardship and everyone cant sugar coat it for her. she made a grown up choice which resulted in grown up responsibilities so now she needs to face reality like a grown up and she needs to be treated like a grown up. she doesnt get to be a teenager anymore

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Itzeel1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" ... [snip!] ... you've been a teen mom. I have. Let me assure you it's not butterflies and pancakes like you're thinking its going to be."</blockquote>


I never said its going to be easy. I know I will have to give up my free time for the baby. I know I will be exhausted evveryday and I won't have no time for me. And I know the first few months I won't be getting enough sleep. Its going to be horrible but I will love to be a mom.It one of the most toughest job for a female .... but you got to understand that most teen moms mature faster than others. Having a baby is noo game ... so you don't have to tell me how difficult it will be cause I already understand.

Theirs no need for abortion you can consider other options like adoption if.you don't feek.ready for a responsibility like this i had my son at that age and it changed my whole life im 17 pregnant with ny second the baby.dad is involve and a lot of help but if you wont get that kind of help talk to someone about your situation

<blockquote><b>Quoting Itzeel1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Itzeel1:</b>" ... [snip!] ... than others. Having a baby is noo game ... so you don't have to tell me how difficult it will be cause I already understand."</blockquote>




No. Most teen moms don't mature faster than others. Your sleep is screwed for years. Not months.

How about you focus on the real challenges like doctors visits, allergies, insurance claims, behaviors problems, etc.

Being a mom is a hell of a lot more than a care giver.

Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Itzeel1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" ... [snip!] ... doctors visits, allergies, insurance claims, behaviors problems, etc. Being a mom is a hell of a lot more than a care giver."

  And it is impossible to understand. Everyone say that until they are actually parents them selves. And babies are easy part. It is when they get older that things really get hard. Just with until you are 30 with a 15 year old who went and got themselves knocked up or knocked up someone else.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Itzeel1:</b>" Hey I'm kind of in the same situation as you. ... [snip!] ... have no credit history, the odds are against mothers your age. Aside from your general lack of maturity and life experience."</blockquote>


  I was pregnant at 14 and I can promise you that it is nowhere near easy. Please girls just prepare yourselves for reality. I see so many teen moms on here that thinks everything is going to be butterflies and rainbows and its NOT. My son is four now and it hasn't gotten any easier!

<blockquote><b>Quoting 1inpink2inblue:</b>"   And it is impossible to understand. Everyone say that until they are actually parents them selves. ... [snip!] ... get hard. Just with until you are 30 with a 15 year old who went and got themselves knocked up or knocked up someone else."</blockquote>




Seriously. I have a 5 yr old and I'm about 10 years younger than every other mom at school. And I assure anyone that babies are the easy part. Behavior issues, speech issues, school, sports, etc. that is the hard part. Teaching them morals, making sure they're good people, protecting their safety, morals, etc. etc. etc. that is hard.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rafael's Mommy ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Itzeel1:</b>" ... [snip!] ... that thinks everything is going to be butterflies and rainbows and its NOT. My son is four now and it hasn't gotten any easier!"</blockquote>




4 is when it gets REALLY hard, in my opinion.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rafael's Mommy ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... NOT. My son is four now and it hasn't gotten any easier!"</blockquote> 4 is when it gets REALLY hard, in my opinion."</blockquote>


Yeah he's been pretty difficult lately. I KNOW he knows what he's not supposed to do, but it seems like he does it just to do it. He's also started cursing.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting 1inpink2inblue:</b>"   And it is impossible to understand. ... [snip!] ... hard part. Teaching them morals, making sure they're good people, protecting their safety, morals, etc. etc. etc. that is hard."</blockquote>


   

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rafael's Mommy ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rafael's ... [snip!] ... lately. I KNOW he knows what he's not supposed to do, but it seems like he does it just to do it. He's also started cursing.  "</blockquote>




It's a constant trial and error. And you're going to get it wrong a million times before you get it right, and you'll get frustrated, but stay as patient as you can. Just make sure he has responsibilities and consequences. It's tough but you'll get through it. Teaching them to be a good person is a tough job but you def want to get that done early.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rafael's Mommy ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... It's tough but you'll get through it. Teaching them to be a good person is a tough job but you def want to get that done early."</blockquote>


Definitely! Thanks for the encouragement lol, I don't get much of that. I live with my brother and every time Rafael does something wrong or curses he busts out laughing. So then Rafe thinks its funny and keeps doing it. Drives me insane lol.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rafael's Mommy ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rafael's ... [snip!] ... does something wrong or curses he busts out laughing. So then Rafe thinks its funny and keeps doing it. Drives me insane lol."</blockquote>




Ugh. That's positive reinforcement for bad behavior. Obviously your brother isn't doing that on purpose but maybe having a serious conversation about it about how it's a struggle being a single young parent & how his support in this would really help, could change his reactions.

I had to talk to family members about that and they listened and it made a world of difference.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rafael's Mommy ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... could change his reactions. I had to talk to family members about that and they listened and it made a world of difference."</blockquote>


I should try. I've mentioned it to him but we haven't had a serious conversation about it.