re: So lonely

<blockquote><b>Quoting Belle.:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Belle.:</b>" ... [snip!] ... and sometimes you just gotta make it work and not give up. I know he loves me. Something has just been seriously off lately"</blockquote>




You didn't answer my question.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Belle.:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" ... [snip!] ... up. I know he loves me. Something has just been seriously off lately"</blockquote> You didn't answer my question."</blockquote>



Well I don't want to because you sound rude and judgemental

Quoting Belle.:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Belle.:</b>" ... [snip!] ... You didn't answer my question."</blockquote> Well I don't want to because you sound rude and judgemental"

She is, lol.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Belle.:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Belle.:</b>" ... [snip!] ... You didn't answer my question."</blockquote> Well I don't want to because you sound rude and judgemental"</blockquote>




Am I being rude and judgemental or am I asking you to be honest with yourself about your situation?

If you guys are tight on money, that stress might be taking a toll on him. Every man feels that need to provide for his family (at least they damn well should.) and that very well might be a source of his stress. Some men may feel a sense of failure if their partner and/or child isn't financially stable to what they think is appropriate.

That being said, he can't take it out on you. And these are days with his son that he can't get back. So isolating himself due to stress is only going to hurt him in the end.

Like everyone else said, I'd sit down with him and have a talk. Explain how you're feeling. But in confrontational talks like that, it's best to own your feelings. Instead of saying things like "Because you're acting like this, I feel this way." It's sometimes easier to phrase it Ï've been feeling this way lately."

Good luck

ive heard dads can get scared and depressed to. especailly younger ones. and most men hate to talk feelings or think they are weak if they admit they are nervous or scared.

my husband was great, but he also and alot of fear, fear of disappointing me, not being able to provide for us, doing something wrong. eveyone handles things differnetly. ask him to go to the dr with you and maybe get counsling. if he refuses, then reasses your situation.

Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Belle.:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" ... [snip!] ... Am I being rude and judgemental or am I asking you to be honest with yourself about your situation?"

your being bossy and demanding. & also rude and judgemental. lol

<blockquote><b>Quoting LynMarie.xo:</b>" your being bossy and demanding. & also rude and judgemental. lol"</blockquote>




I'm asking her to be honest with herself. I can see how that could be confusing.

Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting LynMarie.xo:</b>" your being bossy and demanding. & also ... [snip!] ... and judgemental. lol"</blockquote> I'm asking her to be honest with herself. I can see how that could be confusing."

And we're telling you you're rude. End of story.

Make him sit down with you and let him know that quality time together is very important to you and your relationship. It is how you feel loved by him. As a pp said men get better with time yes....but he still needs to do more as a parent...tell him how alone this is making you feel.

Hope things get easier for you!

Thanks for the advice! I'm going to try to approach him in a away that doesn't sound like attacking cause usually I just get mad and it never turns out well.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Belle.:</b>" Thanks for the advice! I'm going to try to approach him in a away that doesn't sound like attacking cause usually I just get mad and it never turns out well."</blockquote>




I have learned its best not to start any sentence with you....like don't say "You make me feel.." say " I feel like ___ when ____happens"...also don't use the words never or always... . I am having relationship struggles myself..Its not easy to reword what you want to say...but its worth it!  

Yeah then it doesn't sound like I'm trying to complain or give him smurf. I'm going to try doing that more often  

Quoting Mama Lizzy :]:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Belle.:</b>" Thanks for the advice! I'm going to try to approach ... [snip!] ... or always... . I am having relationship struggles myself..Its not easy to reword what you want to say...but its worth it!  "

ditto. ive learned that the hard way. and IF he starts to yell or get upset.... DONT yell BACK, listen to what he is saying, or trying to say and then calmly rephrase it back to him so he knows you understand him. hard to do in the heat of the moment but it usually works. i was taught that method for teenage foster sons, i use it on my husband more than i ever did them. boys are boys, period

<blockquote><b>Quoting MrsWoodstock:</b>" ditto. ive learned that the hard way. and IF he starts to yell or get upset.... DONT yell BACK, listen ... [snip!] ... i was taught that method for teenage foster sons, i use it on my husband more than i ever did them. boys are boys, period"</blockquote>

Haha yep!