Heart Breaking

I am the only girl and the oldest of my mothers children. My mother kids listed in order from oldest to youngest, me 21, my brother 20, my brother 4, my brother 1. My mom had been having a roller coaster with stage 4 in curable melanoma cancer for 2 years now. The cancer had gotten worse and they don't expect her to make it to much longer. I have NEVEE lost anyone close to me do this is devastating. Some days are better than others. My mom is married but they have been separated for over a year now. My grandma is taking on 24/7 care for her and my young brothers, it's been very hard on her. My mother is now loving with all of us because she can't do ANYTHING. My mom is 39 with the mobility of a 98 year old woman. My mom had tumors from the cancer that is pushing up against her spine, shoulder, and lungs. My mom went from being young and vivacious to this on less than a week. I'm dying inside and I'm really not sure where to go from here. I wish I could take her pain away, I wish that I could be there with her through it all but she's in so much pain the really doesn't want anyone around. I guess the point of me telling you ladies this is because I want to know had anyone experienced this or going through this now. We need prayers and I just need to vent. Thanks ladies.

I worked in hospice, and my mother still does is she on hospice at least for pain management??

My best friends mother in law just passed 1 week after being diagnosed, it was heartbreaking to see her parents burrying their daughter... I'm here if u need to talk... I'm soo sorry...

I am so sorry. Losing someone you care about is the worst part of life. But you just have to tell yourself that you both will meet again. I lost my dad, I know how hard it can be. But it does get better. I promise you   Keep your head up mama! If you need someone to talk to I am here for you.

No if we say anything about hospice she freaks out, she thinks we're going to put her in there and leave her   she is on morphine 30 milligrams but its not helping. Thanks ladies, I just really need to vent, my family doesn't want to talk about it so I need to that's how I deal with stuff.

I'm so sorry. My grandmother passed away a few years ago and that was devastating even though we knew it was coming, I had never lost anyone close to me before that. I could not imagine losing my mother. I'll keep your family in my prayers <3

Thank you, if you don't mind me asking, how did you deal with that??

My aunt passed two years bak from uterine cancer. She had been trying to get the doctors to check her out for over a year, but they all thought she was full of smurf. By the time she found a doc who actually ran the appropriate tests and did surgery on her, they discovered that her entire abdominal cavity was covered and there was nothing that could be done. She was given two weeks and survived for nearly 6 months. She stayed a week and a half in the hospital, and then she went home to die. During the time she was dying, she would get severe constipation and require iv feedings frequently. It was a horrific process. She was upset at this loss of her dignity.

Sometimes you hear about people going decently, but my aunt was very angry. She came to tes with things, but she began to spite some of her family members, refusing to see or contact them because of perceived wrongs they had done her. I think this was because the cancer basically made her lose her mind. At the very end she was unable to talk or even understand anyone. This was about two weeks before she died.

I'm sooooo sry to hear that sweety, it's already bad enough what she was going through but to have lost get mind and dignity is just wrong and just not humane it's awful. I'm sry you went through that sweety.

Well I had a while to come to terms with the fact she was going to die. She had dementia and was "gone" long before she was gone if that makes any sense. There were so many times that we were called in to say good bye (she was in a nursing home the last couple of years) and so when we were called to say goodbye the last time I was a bit shocked the next day when I was told she had actually passed, because I was expecting it to be like the other times.

I don't know how I dealt with it really, after she died I just tried to be there for my mum because she was so upset. I cried a lot and my SO was great too, he comforted me when I needed it and he tried to put things in perspective (about the fact that she wasn't in pain anymore, she lived a long life, was in a better place ect) which made me feel a little bit better.

Quoting Safka9973:" My aunt passed two years bak from uterine cancer. She had been trying to get the doctors to check her ... [snip!] ... her lose her mind. At the very end she was unable to talk or even understand anyone. This was about two weeks before she died."

 

I am so sorry you are going through this, such a sad time. I lost my grandfather, who was like a father to me, and my uncle in the same week unexpectedly. This was my real experience with losing someone close to me. Be prepared to cry, question, and seek comfort from those you love. I also found that during this time although it is not my normal way of doing things, I would seek comfort in a certain type of potato chips, but going on long walks afterwards and seeking comfort in nature was wonderful. I also have been able to feel the presence of both of them at times when I was struggling which made me feel better. If you need it do not feel bad about seeking counseling, sometime it is the best thing that you can do for yourself.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥ Tylins Mommy &he:</b>" No if we say anything about hospice she freaks out, she thinks we're going to put her in there and leave ... [snip!] ... Thanks ladies, I just really need to vent, my family doesn't want to talk about it so I need to that's how I deal with stuff."</blockquote>




We would go to patients homes, or wherever they were,
I'm really sorry,