Father figures

Hey everyone  

I've been seeing someone for a while now, and we get along perfectly. He and DD get along wonderfully too- she gets along with him better than her bio dad. Anyways, Lately she hasn't been calling him by his name and has been calling him "Daddy"....She sees her bio dad for about an hour a week, so she never talks about him, she spends more time with my bf, so they're closer. We were caught off guard a couple weeks ago when she started calling him Daddy, and I don't know how to stop her...we just remind her what his name is, and hope she picks up on it again....What would you do if you were in this situation? Am I handling it properly?

Thats weird, I would continue to gently correct her. Your BF is not her Daddy... and as long as her father is still in the picture its really inappropriate for that to even be happening, I feel. Good luck!

I would just keep telling her that isn't her daddy, she only has one daddy & it's so-and-so.

Its not weird. Kids see someone taking care of them and that's what they equate it to. I get called mom by my nephew because he hears my kids say it. How old is dd op? Does it bother you or him for her to say it? My SS calls me mom, did so on his own accord. Hes 7 now and ive had him since 3 (dad has full custody).

Quoting coconut derrière .:" Thats weird, I would continue to gently correct her. Your BF is not her Daddy... and as long as her father ... [snip!] ... and as long as her father is still in the picture its really inappropriate for that to even be happening, I feel. Good luck!"

Yeah, neither of us want her to call him "daddy", because it's disrespectful to her bio dad. Granted, he puts zero effort in, but he's still her dad, and I can't change that. We correct her and she calls him by his name again, but sometimes she slips...I guess all I can do is keep correcting her as best as I can.

Quoting ~Manda Panda +3 ~:" Its not weird. Kids see someone taking care of them and that's what they equate it to. I get called mom ... [snip!] ... him for her to say it? My SS calls me mom, did so on his own accord. Hes 7 now and ive had him since 3 (dad has full custody)."

She JUST turned 4, so she's still a baby practically...I know she's a little confused probably because he takes better care of her than her bio dad did, but I still want to remain respectful to him- and so does BF....

That's good to know, I just feel so shocked when she says it, but at 4 years old, it's hard to explain it to her.

*edit* It's not that it "bothers" us exactly, it's just that we don't feel right about it, because it feels wrong for her to call him that when she HAS a bio dad...if that makes any sense?

My ex left me when our kids were 2, 1 and 4 months old, my SO came into my life when my youngest was 7 months old. My youngest is now almost 2 and he knows who his bio dad is but has always called my SO daddy and I've tried to correct him but he wont call my SO by his name so I gave up. Just keep reminding her that her bio dad is daddy, maybe she can call your SO daddy *insert name* try that.

Quoting ~*~Modern*Day*Delilah~*~:" Hey everyone   I've been seeing someone for a while now, and we get along perfectly. He and DD get ... [snip!] ... his name is, and hope she picks up on it again....What would you do if you were in this situation? Am I handling it properly? "

if it doesnt bother SO id just leave it alone theres a reason she feels like hes her daddy continue to refer to him aa SO but if thats what she choses to call him leave it alone

Quoting ~*~Modern*Day*Delilah~*~:" Yeah, neither of us want her to call him "daddy", because it's disrespectful to her bio dad. Granted, ... [snip!] ... and she calls him by his name again, but sometimes she slips...I guess all I can do is keep correcting her as best as I can. "

She's not being disrespectful. In fact its a compliment. She loves your boyfriend. They don't understand the drama adullts create with this.

Quoting Mommy to 3 boys & 1 girl:" My ex left me when our kids were 2, 1 and 4 months old, my SO came into my life when my youngest was ... [snip!] ... name so I gave up. Just keep reminding her that her bio dad is daddy, maybe she can call your SO daddy *insert name* try that."

How did your SO react to it when he was doing that? True, we could try that name instead. It's strange because she calls her bio dad "Daddy" when she sees him once in a while, but she also calls BF Daddy sometimes too...I know she knows who her bio dad is, but for whatever reason, she prefers to call BF the same....I don't understand it.

Quoting ~Manda Panda +3 ~:" She's not being disrespectful. In fact its a compliment. She loves your boyfriend. They don't understand the drama adullts create with this."

Well I don't mean disrespectful in a way that she's doing something wrong, I don't really know how to explain it....That's true. We haven't made a big deal out of it, we just try to correct her gently, remind her of his name, sometimes she goes with it sometimes she doesn't...maybe she'll grow out of it....

Quoting ~*~Modern*Day*Delilah~*~:" How did your SO react to it when he was doing that? True, we could try that name instead. It's strange ... [snip!] ... too...I know she knows who her bio dad is, but for whatever reason, she prefers to call BF the same....I don't understand it. "

Im not sure my ex knows that our son calls my SO daddy, if he did he would understand but i know it would bug him. the weird thing is he doesnt call my exs girlfriend mommy and they have been together longer than my SO and I. He calls her by her nickname. When my son see's his bio dad he gets excited and yells daddy but when he's at home with me and SO he follows my SO around all day and says daddy constantly. Your daughter spends more time with your BF so she sees him as her daddy at that time. When she's with her bio dad she will see him as daddy.

Quoting Jillian Lindsey:" if it doesnt bother SO id just leave it alone theres a reason she feels like hes her daddy continue to refer to him aa SO but if thats what she choses to call him leave it alone"

I don't think it bothers him exactly, he just feels really bad that she's calling him that when she DOES have a bio dad in the picture already- he doesn't want to try and take HIS place (even if he's not really around)....It's complicated. I guess we'll just keep trying to remind her of his name, if it sticks, fine, if not, as she gets older, we'll see what happens with it.

Quoting Mommy to 3 boys & 1 girl:" Im not sure my ex knows that our son calls my SO daddy, if he did he would understand but i know it would ... [snip!] ... spends more time with your BF so she sees him as her daddy at that time. When she's with her bio dad she will see him as daddy."

Aw that's sweet  

That's true, I didn't really think about it that way....I guess it's possible for a child to feel that they have 2 mommies or daddies...I never really had a healthy step parent relationship with my mom's and dad's partners, so this is totally foreign to me.

Quoting ~*~Modern*Day*Delilah~*~:" Aw that's sweet   That's true, I didn't really think about it that way....I guess it's possible for ... [snip!] ... never really had a healthy step parent relationship with my mom's and dad's partners, so this is totally foreign to me. "

I dont have a good relationship with my step mom but i had a good relationship with my step dad and would always refer to him as my dad but I never called him dad. he had been in my life since i was 5 years old.