depressed...

My husband and I have been together for 5 years been married about a year and a half. We me when I was 16 and he was 17... still together at 21 and 23. But lately he's been working 60 to 70 hours a week. While I work my 30 hours. And I feel so lonely I never see him when were together he is so exhausted from work he doesn't want to move. We have sex like 'maybe' 2 a week and mostly just the weekend. We used to be so happy with eachother but now it seems like alwe do is fight or have talks about how we need to change the way we do or say things to eachother. We have fights a threaten divorce...neither of us actually want to divorce we just want the other to relize how serious we are. The funny thing is....everyone around us think we are a golden couple. It tears me up. I love him so much anyone going through this now or has gone through it and made it out happy?

Is there an end to the crazy hours in sight? This usually causes quite a bit of stress on hubby and I. When he started his new job and was having to get up at 4 am he would come home exhausted and miserable. Now he has gotten use to it and we all have a set schedule, so things are much smoother, so there is less fighting. A I can say is if you truly love each other and want it to work, stick it out and figure out a way to deal with the stress in a constructive way.

Threatening each other with divorce, whatever the reason, is not the way to effectively communicate how much you both want things to change. All that is going to do is hurt one another and cause resentments in your relationship. The real root of the problem seems to be the lack of time spent together, so get to the bottom of the REAL problem, not getting angry with each other. Sit down and ask yourselves if he really needs to be working that many hours. If it's financially necessary for him to work so much, then work out once or twice a month with a babysitter for y'all to go a date night, and maybe once a week where everyone has dinner together and y'all watch a movie, or do something fun together at home after the children go to bed.

If you two are having talks about the way you treat each other maybe try the love dare.

And 2 nights of sex a week sounds good haha. Sometimes we're so busy we can go 2 weeks.

I think threatening divorce is the wrong way to go about showing him you're serious about how you feel. Honestly, if you want to make it work, maybe the old 'you have to give to get' is your answer.

Listen to what he's telling you he needs, and try to give it to him. Working that much is hard. When Dh was working hours like that sex was basically non existent, so be thankful you're getting some.

Unfortunately sometimes the real world takes over your lives. SO and I see each other for maybe 2 hours a day.

<blockquote><b>Quoting JustDucky:</b>" Is there an end to the crazy hours in sight? This usually causes quite a bit of stress on hubby and ... [snip!] ... you truly love each other and want it to work, stick it out and figure out a way to deal with the stress in a constructive way."</blockquote>




He normally works 40 hours 6 to 430pm
But now he's working 60 to 70 4 to 430pm
They keep saying it'll be soon but they've been saying it so long we can't believe them. He gets home at 5 then tries to be in bed at 730
It would feel better if we knew when these hours were going to end but we don't. The stress he's under really causes everything to be tence. :\

i WISH i had sex 2 times a week.

i'm working with 3 times a year over here.

not to trivialize your concerns but you are young and very busy. just try to appreciate each other and communicate. don't have unrealistic expectations.

oh hunny, im right there with you. We have been together since i was 15. it been together almost 8 years. SO works nights and i work days. we only get Saturdays together but most of that time we are catching up on errands or visiting inlaws with LO. by the time we are all said and done we are so tired and dont even have energy to have sex. we may have it twice a month, if that

We are very well aware threatening divorce is a very stupid thing to do and it is hurtful but honestly, that the point. At the time we say those things we are being stupid and trying to make our points.

We have no choice about the hours though he works for a small company and currantly DH is their backbone. They NEED him or they would lose this contract.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Thorian's Mommy:</b>" oh hunny, im right there with you. We have been together since i was 15. it been together almost 8 years. ... [snip!] ... the time we are all said and done we are so tired and dont even have energy to have sex. we may have it twice a month, if that"</blockquote>




Sounds like us. Saturday is the only day we get together also....but that day is also the day both sides of our family gets together. When we actually do have sex its not the best....I don't feel as connected with him...probably due to the fact we have been strangers lately...  

<blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" If you two are having talks about the way you treat each other maybe try the love dare. And 2 nights of sex a week sounds good haha. Sometimes we're so busy we can go 2 weeks."</blockquote>




Love dare???

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama♡MoriYah :]:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" If you two are having talks about the way you ... [snip!] ... And 2 nights of sex a week sounds good haha. Sometimes we're so busy we can go 2 weeks."</blockquote> Love dare???"</blockquote>


It's a book (I think there's an online thing and an app too). But it has a challenge everyday for 40 days to help bring you and your SO closer. It helps you change the way you treat each other to have a healthier relationship.

Quoting Mama♡MoriYah :]:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Thorian's Mommy:</b>" oh hunny, im right there with you. We ... [snip!] ... have sex its not the best....I don't feel as connected with him...probably due to the fact we have been strangers lately...  "

its defiantly hard but we are each others backbone. We both work hard for each other and we just hold onto the "one day we will get to.."
we fight and have time were we dont seem to be close but we just have to work through it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Thorian's Mommy:</b>" its defiantly hard but we are each others backbone. We both work hard for each other and we just hold ... [snip!] ... onto the "one day we will get to.." we fight and have time were we dont seem to be close but we just have to work through it."</blockquote>




Yeah that's usually what we get to in our talks. Its just hard to remember how we felt when we were 15 how much easier it is to show someone you love them without anyother responsibilities....