re: Do you NEED to know??

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Cherry Davis:</b>" I am asking because I have a friend who feels ... [snip!] ... dormant or not. Some stds lay dormant and pregnancy can bring them out. This happens with hpv a lot from what I've been told."

That's just what I was going to say. That's also the case with chlamydia. So OP, she could have gotten it before they even got married or something.

Quoting Cherry Davis:" I feel the same way you do not sure why he did it but it's worse because he is denying it. He does need ... [snip!] ... is denying it. He does need to go to the doctors as well as notify the girl he was with because she needs to be treated too. "

Perhaps he's telling the truth?
If it was dormant for all these years, her husband probably feels like SHE slept with someone else too, ya know?
I think she should decide now if she's going to stay or leave. She may never know the truth of if he slept with another woman or not...

if it is a boyfriend/girlfriend split, then what they did is their own business. If it is a husband and wife who are separated, then the truth is, they are skanks of they slept with anyone. You are still married. A separation is not a license to cheat. You are supposed to be working on the marriage. If it was so bad that this is not the case, then why get back together.

Quoting ma ♥:" Perhaps he's telling the truth? If it was dormant for all these years, her husband probably feels like ... [snip!] ... she should decide now if she's going to stay or leave. She may never know the truth of if he slept with another woman or not..."

I'm not sure it stays dormant for years. she has been going to the doctor for this whole pregnancy and had nothing all test have come back negative and now all the sudden it's positive.She asked her OB if it was serious the doctor told her it was early in virus that it barely registered on the testing so it hadn't had time to "set" so to speak so she thinks it was recently "caught." She doesn't want to leave according to what she tells me but she doesn't think she can handle not knowing the "truth" she thinks it will make her distrust him.

I wouldn't want to know. Then again I have never really had a "break" in a relationship; I'm either all in or out. I don't do the back and forth stuff.

Quoting Cherry Davis:" That's what I told her but she said he swears he wasn't with anyone. And she stayed with me so I know ... [snip!] ... wants to give up on, but I told her dude he couldn't even keep it in his pants for the 2 weeks you separated over an argument. "

In this situation it doesn't matter. She has chlamydia, they will automatically treat her partner as well as is customary. Problem solved. CLEARLY someone had it and gave it to the other, so if it wasn't her...

There's just no reason for her to torture herself any more than that. Treat it, get past it, and move the hell on with the relationship. Indulging it is just inviting drama into the relationship--and I'm guessing there was drama to begin with if they broke up for two weeks and reconciled. JMO.

Quoting Cherry Davis:" I feel the same way you do not sure why he did it but it's worse because he is denying it. He does need ... [snip!] ... is denying it. He does need to go to the doctors as well as notify the girl he was with because she needs to be treated too. "

That's on her, not your friend.

Quoting Cherry Davis:" I'm not sure it stays dormant for years. she has been going to the doctor for this whole pregnancy and ... [snip!] ... to what she tells me but she doesn't think she can handle not knowing the "truth" she thinks it will make her distrust him."

Ohh I see. Well then if she doesn't believe she had it before she even got with DH, she already has her answer of him "cheating". If he's already denying it, he'll probably forever deny it.
Poor girl. But she should know chlamydia isn't the end of the world, many people get it & it's gone with some antibiotics. But if the baby is born & she still has it it CAN affect the baby, so make sure she knows to get rid of it completely before the baby is born.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cherry Davis:</b>" I'm not sure it stays dormant for years. she has been going to the doctor for this whole pregnancy and ... [snip!] ... to what she tells me but she doesn't think she can handle not knowing the "truth" she thinks it will make her distrust him."</blockquote>

That's just it. Std aside. He's lying to her. Now the tust is broken. And trust me, it's a bitch to get back.