re: Deal breakers/opinions

I could not ever be with someone prolife. It's disrespectful right off the bat to basically feel like I shouldn't have any right to my own body or that the potential for life is more important than myself or my already living children. I also could likely not put up with a pushy Christian partner.

Luckily, I married an agnostic prochoice man.

We had these sorts of discussions prior to getting married.

I could not be with anyone who had a racist, sexist, homophobic view or opinion. Whether it effects others or not. Must be pro choice also.

Circumcison is also a huge deal breaker, I wish I would of thought about it before DH and I had children.

Quoting linsα:" I could not be with anyone who had a racist, sexist, homophobic view or opinion. Whether it effects others ... [snip!] ... be pro choice also. Circumcison is also a huge deal breaker, I wish I would of thought about it before DH and I had children."

I agree on most. The circumcision bit, Im not sure.

But if anyone is racist, or against gay marriage, is sexist, or pro life? Dude... you aren't even getting a first date. If I didnt know that and learned this... the date is ending. Seriously, I'm not even kidding. ESPECIALLY with homosexuality/gay marriage. If someone says they are against homosexuality, I then say "K, lets pay the bill, and part ways. Nice meeting you, have a nice life... I hope you meet the person you are destined to marry but that person is NOT me!" I will not continue the date in any way, shape or form, with someone pro life or anti gay marriage.

My husband and I have a lot of differing views but we just don't talk about those things because it's pointless to discuss. A lot of it is the fact that I grew up here and he grew up overseas. We're both pro-choice, but for example he's against gay rights and a bit homophobic. Not extremely, like he doesn't start cursing at gay folks and refuse to be around them, but he doesn't believe gay marriage should be legal. I explained to him that America is supposed to be a secular government and therefore should make decisions based on human rights, not religious rights. He kind of changed his tune but I think he still has those feelings, which doesn't bother me because everyone is entitled to their own opinion, including people in my own family.

Yes being pro-life would absolutely be a deal breaker with me. I remember having a friend who was pro-life and I put many different scenarios to him including if abortion was made illegal and women were forced to go for "back street abortions" then the health risks that would throw up and possible fatalities and his answer was "Well that's what they would get for being so evil to seek an abortion in the first place." You see I couldn't put up with someone like in my life day in and day out and I certainly couldn't fall in love with something I perceive to be so vile.

DH and I have extremely similar views in things we consider to be quite major in terms of making a lifetime commitment and raising children together such as human rights, religion, politics, etc. We had many early discussions about things such as wether or not we believe in God, what we feel about religion, what would we do if our child came and told us they were gay or dating someone from another race, where we stand on particular political issues, abortion, Marriage, drug use, etc..... We're different in a lot of ways but I don't believe you can have extremely different views on topics you feel passionately about and it not cause a major strain on your relationship and massive conflict in how you bring up your children.

Quoting 624582:" Before I had my son I was one of those "pro-lifers" who felt abortions were only 'okay' for medical ... [snip!] ... see myself ever aborting, but what works for me doesn't work for everyone else and that is exactly why I am pro-choice."

I was like that as a teen, but I didn't have a strong grasp on what abortion REALLY was. Right now, and my husband knows it, I am PRO CHOICE. He wont argue it, smart man. lol But he asked if I ever have one, not to go beyond 16 weeks unless it's medical. I'll respect that, though I don't think if I WERE to have one, that I'd go beyond 8.

Wen we got together, I was pro-life and SO was pro-choice. I became pro-choice after joining BG and he still is. We have the same views on pretty much every hot topic and I'm glad.