I have feelings for him....

My brother in law.  

My DH's brother has been living with us for a couple weeks now, with his pregnant wife, and I've found that I'm attracted to him. Very.

I'm trying to ignore it... I just needed to let it out. I feel horrible though.

But he actually pays attention to me and helps me with DD and other stuff, unlike DH. Ugh.

maybe that is what you actually find attractive...that he helps out...have you talked to your DH about helping out more?

This is a situation that you need to get out of fast. I don't really know how to go about it, but you need to help get them out of your home ASAP. I don't know if it's really your BIL you're attracted to, or the fact that he does the things that you WANT your Husband to do. Talk with your Husband, let him know the things you'd like to see him help more with.


IMO I wouldn't say anything about the BIL, because that may be a hard thing to look past, even if nothing has happened.

It's probably infatuation.

Yeh it is more than normal to find yourself drawn to someone who is compassionate and helpful, don't feel too bad. Just remember you aren't actually in love or feeling for him, you are just very appreciative of the attention and help when you've been needing it for so long. And maybe mention to "DH" how helpful BIL is and how much you enjoy having a helpful guy around the house, maybe he'll get the hint lol

Nothings wrong to be attracted to him.but don't take it further than that.

Quoting BG Secrets:" My brother in law.   My DH's brother has been living with us for a couple weeks now, with his pregnant ... [snip!] ... let it out. I feel horrible though. But he actually pays attention to me and helps me with DD and other stuff, unlike DH. Ugh."

Whatever you do, do NOT act on those feelings...ever.

Do you still love your DH? Could you maybe take a little vacation or try some counseling/talking it out with him and decide if being with him is something that is right for you?

Attracted physically? Or attracted to everything?

Quoting JessieLeeAnne:" Whatever you do, do NOT act on those feelings...ever. Do you still love your DH? Could you maybe ... [snip!] ... vacation or try some counseling/talking it out with him and decide if being with him is something that is right for you? "

I definitely love DH. I am still in love with him.


I think all of you ladies are right. I didn't even realize that. I will talk to DH about helping out more. Thanks everyone! I feel better now.

Quoting Onalee's Mummy:" Attracted physically? Or attracted to everything?"

Everything  They are moving out soon. I told DH I would miss him being here helping with DD and playing with her.

<blockquote><b>Quoting HotMom21ERF:</b>" It's probably infatuation."</blockquote>




This! Besides if you act on it or tell BIL or it could end up being ackward

Quoting M walls:" <blockquote><b>Quoting HotMom21ERF:</b>" It's probably infatuation."</blockquote> This! Besides if you act on it or tell BIL or it could end up being ackward"

I'm definitely not going to say anything. I wouldn't hurt DH like that. I just feel bad that I'm feeling this way, kwim? I had to tell somebody.

<blockquote><b>Quoting SaucyPoppet:</b>" Yeh it is more than normal to find yourself drawn to someone who is compassionate and helpful, don't ... [snip!] ... mention to "DH" how helpful BIL is and how much you enjoy having a helpful guy around the house, maybe he'll get the hint lol"</blockquote>


This.

Quoting Crazyhazel89:" maybe that is what you actually find attractive...that he helps out...have you talked to your DH about helping out more?"

Maybe DH is already doing enough. Just because he doesn't help with DD does not mean he is not pulling his fair share. I am so sock of women whining about the guy not helping with DD. I don't change the oil in our cars 1/2 the time, or even 1/10 the time. There are things he does, and things I do. I do not need my husband to be my equal, I need him to compliment me. Frankly, with the things he does for me, I feel I am getting the better deal with things such as DD. Like the time a rat took up residence in our shed. I didn't have to deal with it, he did. He does all of the dirty jobs. I do laundry and dishes. We share cooking because he loves to cook, and is quite good at it.

Also, if he works out of the home and you do not, it is not fair to think that he should work and then come home and do half of everything. You can fool the men and talk about how tough you have it, but I have done both, worked and stayed home with the kids. If I had it my way, I would never work. At home, I am the boss. If I want to take a break and watch TV for an hour, I do. If I want to log onto the internet, I do. If I want to eat, I do. If I feel like taking a nap while the children take theirs, I do.

It's far better than a boss being on your butt about meeting a deadline. When I worked, I felt exhausted by the time got home.

Quoting Robbie104:" Maybe DH is already doing enough. Just because he doesn't help with DD does not mean he is not pulling ... [snip!] ... It's far better than a boss being on your butt about meeting a deadline. When I worked, I felt exhausted by the time got home. "

For YOU. Many women have Spouses who feel similar to you, but who don't help when they come home. When they are out of the normal paying job, things should be shared, childcare included. There is absolutely no excuse for a man not to Parent his Children. How is it fair to a women to have t o work EVERY single day, without break, but their Husband has set hours and days? That's unfair also and I believe it's this type of unfairness she's talking about. I'm a SAHM right now and honestly, I'd rather work a set amount of hours each day and know I'm done at the end.