What would you do?

Mil has been fighting cancer... She is doing really bad now but I guess lying to hubby so she does not hurt him... She can no longer walk and fil took time off work to care for her and yet she says she is fine... DH called today and fil and told him she is doing really bad... Now we live a province over and I really want to go there with the kids because I rather hubby spend time with her then to get a phone call that she passed away.. But what if she does not want us to see her like that? Would you still go to visit and spend time with her or just not go.. I don't really want to bring it up to hubby to ask her I guess should we come say our good byes or just stay here.. Sorry if this makes no sence but I am really frazzled right now with this...

That's a tough one. If it were my mom, I would insist on coming. But I understand that you're concerned about respecting her wishes...

If she says she doesn't want to be seen like that, I would respect her wishes and let her pass with dignity.

I wouldn't want her last memory of me to be an act of defiance

<blockquote><b>Quoting Asher's mommy [Expecting :</b>" That's a tough one. If it were my mom, I would insist on coming. But I understand that you're concerned about respecting her wishes..."</blockquote>




That's exactly why I feel stuck.. I am worried that seeing everyone could stress her out because she would be sad making her worst..

I'd go. When my dad was really bad off he kept telling my brother that he was okay, but I knew better because I was here all the time with him. I would tell my brother the truth about how daddy was doing and I told him he needed to come see him before he got worse, but my brother didn't want to see him like that. Now that my dad has passed, I can tell my brother really regrets not coming to spend time with him beforehand.

Id go for sure

I'd call and talk to her. Let her know you would like to come visit and bring the kids. Spend so quality time with her in this tough time. I would not push and if she says no then let it be. But atleast talk to her and see how she feels about a visit.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Married with children AIO:</b>" Mil has been fighting cancer... She is doing really bad now but I guess lying to hubby so she does not ... [snip!] ... we come say our good byes or just stay here.. Sorry if this makes no sence but I am really frazzled right now with this..."</blockquote>




How old are the kids? Under ten they should not see her like that IMO

Quoting Onalee's Mummy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Married with children AIO:</b>" Mil has been fighting cancer... ... [snip!] ... frazzled right now with this..."</blockquote> How old are the kids? Under ten they should not see her like that IMO"

Has anyone you love ever had cancer, out of curiosity?

My mom struggled with breast cancer and I couldn't imagine feeling like I should "shield" my son (3 at the time) from the reality of what was going on and risk missing out on one more second with his Mimi. He honestly didn't even notice, other than the fact that she was bald. He just told her she had a cool haircut. *shrugs*

<blockquote><b>Quoting Asher's mommy [Expecting :</b>" Has anyone you love ever had cancer, out of curiosity? My mom struggled with breast cancer and I couldn't ... [snip!] ... Mimi. He honestly didn't even notice, other than the fact that she was bald. He just told her she had a cool haircut. *shrugs*"</blockquote>




I've had cancer.

Three grandparents, an uncle, and an aunt has died from cancer.

They looked god awful before they passed. I found the sight of them heartbreaking.

Quoting Asher's mommy [Expecting :" Has anyone you love ever had cancer, out of curiosity? My mom struggled with breast cancer and I couldn't ... [snip!] ... Mimi. He honestly didn't even notice, other than the fact that she was bald. He just told her she had a cool haircut. *shrugs*"

My mom lives 2 states away. I can tell you I am with you. I would never shield my kids from her. I would be down there for a long stay as long as I could. Life is short and precious. My kids do get to see her 3 or 4 times a year, but knowing that her life could be shortened for some reason, they would be spending as much time as possible with her.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Asher's mommy [Expecting :</b>" Has anyone you love ever had cancer, out of curiosity? My mom struggled with breast cancer and I couldn't ... [snip!] ... Mimi. He honestly didn't even notice, other than the fact that she was bald. He just told her she had a cool haircut. *shrugs*"</blockquote>



It's not shielding from cancer, more shielding from death. When my grandpa was dying my mum took my brother and sister in but not me. I was 8, I also was not allowed to attend the funeral. I was to young to comprehend

<blockquote><b>Quoting Danielle: Jack&Basil'sMom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Asher's mommy [Expecting :</b>" Has anyone you love ever had ... [snip!] ... an uncle, and an aunt has died from cancer. They looked god awful before they passed. I found the sight of them heartbreaking."</blockquote>


!

Quoting Danielle: Jack&Basil'sMom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Asher's mommy [Expecting :</b>" Has anyone you love ever had ... [snip!] ... an uncle, and an aunt has died from cancer. They looked god awful before they passed. I found the sight of them heartbreaking."

The thought of never seeing my mom again was more heartbreaking for me.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Asher's mommy [Expecting :</b>" The thought of never seeing my mom again was more heartbreaking for me. "</blockquote>




But op and her husband should still go. If the children are young though I personally wouldn't take them. It's up to op though