I am a mother of 3 girls, I have been married for almost 8 years. I have two children with Hereditary Spherocytosis, a blood disorder. The years we have been married have been both good and bad. I found out shortly after we were married he had been going on Craig's list and posting in the sexual parts. Looking for "hook up's" and answering ads. The first time he swore it was just something he had learned to do from his first marriage to cope and it would stop. Well, 2 years later and 8 months pregnant with our daughter I found out he was doing it again. And also exchanging instant messages and phone calls with a woman from a near by town. I confronted him about it and he told had told me he did not feel wanted in our marriage and that was his outlet and again agreed, he would stop. On Christmas Eve a little over a year later and once again pregnant he left his iPhone here and I snooped. I had found that the Craig's list issues had not stopped. Once again I let it go knowing our third daughter was due in a matter of weeks. Everything seemed okay, never great. But our first daughter became sick and being at the hospital with her became a way of life. Between the surgeries and the blood transfusion I gave up the will to work on my marriage and to keep fighting. I think in a lot of ways I gave up completely. We had decide once our daughter healed from having her spleen removed we would divorce. One day I came to my senses and realized that is not what was best for our kids. I tried with him, I became affectionate and tried to be happy and be the perfect wife. Then one morning thinking things were great he sent me an email telling me I was fake and why would I be trying after it was over? I was crushed. That was back in January. I continued to try until last week a woman he hangs around with sent me texts and forwards telling me they were having an affair. He claims they are fabricated but I am not convienced giving his history. I tried to let it go like everything else but it keeps eating at me. I am so mad at him, for going out all of the time while he leaves us at home. And for this to even be an issue. I don't know where to turn. I gave up college to marry him, I have not had a job in 8 years and I have two sick children. Somedays I think I would rather starve than go through one more minute of his ridicule. But another part of me knows I could never take care of our children how he can financially. And our kids absolutely love him. But another part of me wants to better myself for them and let them know this is not a good influence. I know this is long and odd coming from a first post. I have been visiting this site on and off for a few years now. And I did have another account but with changing phones for the life of me I can not remember the password or even user name. I guess I am just asking after reading this has anyone been in this situation or have any advice to offer? And please excuse the typos I am sure there are a lot. I am just getting used to the iPhone.
What a terrible situation. First, he's a piece of smurf for stepping out on you when you obviously have enough stress dealing with two sick children. Second, I admire that you recognize this is not a good influence on your children. I, personally, would rather my children see me struggle to give them a good life and take care of them than to stay in a marriage where I am disrespected and degraded. They will have respect for you, for doing what you had to do to keep the family happy and sane.
I would be working on other arraignments, immediately. Do you have family that can help?
My family lives in another state. Only about two hours off but I know him, there is no way he would let me take them over the state line. I would not mind staying here and sharing responsibility of our kids. I would love to go back to school for nursing and I have been looking into it. I just don't know where else to turn. I just want my kids to have a good life. They love both of us, I do not in any way want to take that away from him or our kids. No matter how I feel about him.
Sad situation... i would head back to school get everything together and file for child support and divorce and leave when you can... a degree will give you the stability your kids need! Just keep moving forward and give yourself something to look forward to.. i know here in washington you can get a two year degree...