At what age...

Do you think a child should understand certain boundaries?

My oldest, she will be 3 in May, is a good girl for the most part. But she's very easily influenced by other children, and a few of the children that she spends time with, their parents have very different parenting views than I do. They are great parents, but they discipline totally different than I do. And my little girl sees these children getting away with a LOT of different things that we do NOT let her get away with (hitting, throwing toys, throwing a fit for not getting what she wants, etc.) and my idea of "not letting her get away with it" isn't just pulling her to the side and saying no, it's taking the toy away, or time out, or no snack, and yes sometimes a swat on the hand or butt if she's getting into something that could hurt her and as a last resort. An actual punishment. I have been told I am doing right, but I have also been told I am too strict on my daughter because "she's at that age, you can't expect her to understand" Well, I do expect her to understand the difference between "YES" and "NO", and what she is and isn't allowed to do for the most part. She's almost 3 for crying out loud.

Am I being too hard on her? We also have a young baby so things like throwing toys and hitting is just unacceptable, the baby could get seriously hurt.

*EDIT: Her behavior is being seriously affected by it, as well. She isn't asking for what she wants, she will yell "JUICE" twenty times at me instead of asking "May I please have juice?" like she normally does. She thinks she can get away with anything. Should I not allow her to see her friends just because of different style of parenting?

Uh yeah, who ever is telling you that they don't understand what you mean at 3 years old is full of smurf. My 18 month old understands yes and no and when we're telling her not to mess with something.

My 3 year old fully understands the rules at our house and other peoples houses. Hell my 1 year old can understand yes and no in most cases.

my son is almost 5 and surely knows the difference between whats right and wrong, and knows the consequences of doing the wrong things yet still does them   so theres a difference between knowing and doing lol like my son could go into time out 5 times after another for the same damn thing im like come on kid when will you learn

Quoting ღFrodoliciousღ:" Uh yeah, who ever is telling you that they don't understand what you mean at 3 years old is full of smurf. My 18 month old understands yes and no and when we're telling her not to mess with something. "

Seriously. I started early with her, at like 8 months I was telling her "No" for grabbing stuff she shouldn't. Did she understand then? No. Did I punish her? Of course not. But it got her used to the word and used to boundaries at an early age.

I think you are right! My 15 month old knows her boundaries.

Quoting ×ø×K·ßear×ø×:" my son is almost 5 and surely knows the difference between whats right and wrong, and knows the consequences ... [snip!] ... lol like my son could go into time out 5 times after another for the same damn thing im like come on kid when will you learn"

Yeah, Chloe does that. She knows she won't, but she gets in "Smurf you mommy" moods and does it over and over and over again. I will keep putting her in time out. My friend tells me "she doesn't understand not to do it" and I tell her "bullsmurf, she understands exactly. she's pushing me to see if I'm going to cave and how far she can push until I do, or if I stand strong to the consequences"

Quoting Miss Molly!:" Yeah, Chloe does that. She knows she won't, but she gets in "Smurf you mommy" moods and does it over ... [snip!] ... she's pushing me to see if I'm going to cave and how far she can push until I do, or if I stand strong to the consequences""

kids are much smarter than most people think

And like, I get that there are age appropriate boundaries. Her boundaries were different at 18 months, than at 2, than they are now. I don't expect my 3 year old to understand the meaning of life or anything, damn. But I do expect her to know what she isn't allowed to do, and listen when I tell her no.

Quoting Miss Molly!:" Yeah, Chloe does that. She knows she won't, but she gets in "Smurf you mommy" moods and does it over ... [snip!] ... she's pushing me to see if I'm going to cave and how far she can push until I do, or if I stand strong to the consequences""

I cant stand people who think kids dont get it. Kids are a lot smarter than people give them credit for. The understand and know how to push bottons very early on. You are right on track IMO mama. Just keep doing it. Those that think 3 is to young "to get it" are going to have very badly behaved kids later down the road.

Quoting Jennybananna:" I cant stand people who think kids dont get it. Kids are a lot smarter than people give them credit for. ... [snip!] ... Just keep doing it. Those that think 3 is to young "to get it" are going to have very badly behaved kids later down the road."

I tried to explain that. I said isn't not just about getting through 2, 3 and 4 years old. It's about instilling discipline so when they go to school, and their teacher tells them no, they aren't allowed to do something, and they listen. If every time a child did something wrong all they got for punishment was the words "No, don't do that" why WOULD they listen? Smurf, if all I got for punishment for wrong doings in life was "No, don't do that" I'd be crazy wild hahaha