Quoting Venus Penis Trap.™:" I know SO is nothing like my ex but he can be aggressive, all men can be at times.. At times and it scares me but I know he will never be like him, at all. I wish I could just get over this.."
If you think all men can be aggressive, then maybe the problem is you. Maybe it is how you relate to them. You push their buttons until you get a reaction. Maybe you don't even realize you do it.
I say this because my SO is never aggressive with me. But I have seen this in the relationships of others. Sometimes it is just the guy. Even in my past, some guys were and some weren't. But I have a couple of friends who have experienced this with every guy. Not surprisingly, they have personailities that aggravate the situation. So men that would not be aggressive with some women, are aggressive with them.
I saw a man put it like this once. If you treat a man like an adversary, he will pick up his sword and shield, to protect himself. If you allow yourself to be soft and vulnerable, it will bring out the knight in shining armor side of him. If it doesn't, get rid of him, and find a knight in shining armor.