need advice

Not sure where else to turn for advice, and the ladies here are pretty blunt so here it goes.. Let me give a back info..

My bf & I have been together 5 years the 22nd of this month. And at the moment we are both living together with my mom, since we just had our first baby Jan 18, and until we can get on our feet better financially. He left for Philadelphia the 14th for work and won't be back for at least a week or so. He left his android here since it's out of time (has been since this time last year) and I use it to get online since it still gets WiFi. I was just looking thru old pics we'v taken & out of just pure curiosity, I wanted to read old texts we had exchanged in the past.
I just so happen to come across texts where he had been talking to this girl, Brittney, and apparently he had been seeing her behind my back and and talking about how he loved her hugs & kisses, and how much he loved her and how good she made him feel. He said he didnt want to mess things up with me b/c we had been together for 4 years. He also was trying to get her to send pics of her boobs but she wouldn't, he said"its okay I seen them before".. She send one of her clevage and her face. He was saying how he didnt want to get caught, and at one point he was with me when she texted. This went on between dec 20 3011 to jan 1st 2012. then his phone got shut off after that so idk what happened after.
Some more background info.. In summer of 2009, he broke up with me for a couple weeks and come to find out it was for her. Various people told me this. Idk what happened while we were broke up but I was so smurfing stupid and forgave and let it go cause I thought I was in love and wanted to work it out. He still denies it was her to this day..


I'm so hurt, pissed and betrayed and I feel like a damn fool for even taking him back the first time. & that I had no idea this was going on. And I'm just now finding out? I don't know how to bring it up when he gets home. I know he'll say I was snooping and get pissed and make me feel like I'm in the wrong. I Hope this makes some type of sense, I am livid.

dump his dumbass

well if this convo was from over a yr ago and you dont know whats been happening since between him and that girl you need to find out. and you have to think that in your life together things have changed alot since then. you guys had a baby. I think before you consider leaving you need to talk to him calmly about it. maybe the baby has changed him. you wont know unless you talk to him. dont yell and scream cuz that will only make things worse. and dont accuse him of still doing it. just ask and tell him that it was awhile ago that it happened but you want to know what happened and if anything is still going on.

I would dump him. It's basically a lost cause. If someone pulled that me id feel so foolish. So embarrassed I'd bd done. And it's obviously not just gonna stop. His hearts not in the right place.

Wow. I'd be so mad

Quoting Shanon Hutchens:" well if this convo was from over a yr ago and you dont know whats been happening since between him and ... [snip!] ... ask and tell him that it was awhile ago that it happened but you want to know what happened and if anything is still going on."

I was planning on being calm about it the best I can. I need him to be completely honest with me. If I didn't have our son, I'd tell him to kick rocks but it's not that easy now. I'm glad I got a little time to think it over before he comes home. I know nothing is going on now because she just so happens to be dating one of friends now.. not sure how I feel about that. He's the one that told me about it... I wonder if that will stir the pot again..

Quoting Faith Newbauer:" I would dump him. It's basically a lost cause. If someone pulled that me id feel so foolish. So embarrassed I'd bd done. And it's obviously not just gonna stop. His hearts not in the right place."

Believe me, I am pissed, and never felt so fooled in my life. My heart is very heavy tonight. So hard to act like nothing was wrong when he called me to say goodnight..

Quoting k α y l α:" I was planning on being calm about it the best I can. I need him to be completely honest with me. If ... [snip!] ... friends now.. not sure how I feel about that. He's the one that told me about it... I wonder if that will stir the pot again.

its best that you do have time because if you were to confront him now while your so mad it would not be a good thing. you both would end up saying things you dont mean or want to say... but you need to think about your lil one but still consider your own life and happiness.

He's here? Want me to kick his ass?

Honestly I'd leave or at least take some time apart and think long and hard if this is what you really want. He sounds sneaky and that's a huge betrayal...

Quoting k α y l α:" I was planning on being calm about it the best I can. I need him to be completely honest with me. If ... [snip!] ... friends now.. not sure how I feel about that. He's the one that told me about it... I wonder if that will stir the pot again.."

You do need to find out the truth, but when it comes to things like this he is most likely going to lie. You have to be able to see thru the lie. I would start out with "I was going to get on the internet and stumbled across ... now if you are completely honest with me, your chances of us staying together are going to be better.

Now if he is completely honest you have to try not to get extremely pissed off. If he lies about it kick his ass out.

Quoting A&J. ♥:" He's here? Want me to kick his ass? Honestly I'd leave or at least take some time apart and think long and hard if this is what you really want. He sounds sneaky and that's a huge betrayal..."

The way I feel now, I wouldn't mind a bit. I thought about sending him to his parents to give me time to think and sort this smurf out. I already got his smurf packed ready to go, I did it in a fit of rage shortly after.. I'm not the confrontational type so this is going to be hard to do..

Quoting ~Raylan's Mama~:" You do need to find out the truth, but when it comes to things like this he is most likely going to ... [snip!] ... better. Now if he is completely honest you have to try not to get extremely pissed off. If he lies about it kick his ass out."

I thought about just handing him the phone and simply asking him to explain it. Theres no lying about it. She send a pic of herself. I know who she is, went to school together. And he talks about me, & everything. So if he even attempts to deny it or lie, I will not have that. I refuse to be taken as a fool one more time.

Quoting k α y l α:" I thought about just handing him the phone and simply asking him to explain it. Theres no lying about ... [snip!] ... & everything. So if he even attempts to deny it or lie, I will not have that. I refuse to be taken as a fool one more time."

You still have to watch for him lying about how long it went on and such. Just be careful...he may try to take advantage of the fact that you're in a vulnerable state. I've been made a fool before, I know how you feel...even with proof sometimes they are stupid enough to try and lie also! Good luck...I hope you get to the bottom of it and figure out what you want to do.

I'm gonna need a lot of luck to stay calm. I am almost certain he's going try and lie his was thru it somehow. Crazy thing, hes been cheated on by two previous girlfriends so you'd think he'd know better, by going thru it himself.

Quoting k α y l α:" I'm gonna need a lot of luck to stay calm. I am almost certain he's going try and lie his was thru it ... [snip!] ... Crazy thing, hes been cheated on by two previous girlfriends so you'd think he'd know better, by going thru it himself."

Don't let him lie his way out of it...if he lies kick his ass out of the house!!! Seriously, don't fall for any of his bullsmurf! If he tries lying you have no reason to stay calm lol just don't hit him  

I hate guys that do that! It's like they think because it's happened to them, they have some sort of right to do it to others