re: need advice

I'm so sorry that your going through this! The father of my kids lied and cheated on me for years. Even with the proof in my hands, he still lied straight to my face about it. He tried to make me feel like I was crazy and paranoid (and for a long time he succeeded in making me think that I was). So your SO might do the same thing. He will probably lie but like the other mama said, look thru his lies. Back peddling is a huge sign of it. Just tell him that there's no denying what you've already seen so you need complete honesty or your not sure where your relationship will go. Stand your ground and be firm! I HATE confrontation also but it needs to be done.

He's the type to lie, or try to tun it around so I'm the guilty one, or use our son against me somehow.. but we'll see. Maybe he'll man up and talk to me. Either way, I don't see this relationship going much farther than it has. I have forgave, and tried to forget too many times. There was a lot of things said in those texts that is very hurtful and just can't be easily forgiven. This is going to be so hard.. I really do love him, but how much can someone take, before they break?

Quoting k α y l α:" He's the type to lie, or try to tun it around so I'm the guilty one, or use our son against me somehow.. ... [snip!] ... can't be easily forgiven. This is going to be so hard.. I really do love him, but how much can someone take, before they break?"

Stay strong Mama! Don't let him guilt trip you. It is NOT your fault he couldn't keep his dick in his pants. If you don't see it going any further, maybe you should just tell him what you found and tell him to leave. If you aren't going to be happy it will be best for your son anyway.

Quoting ~Raylan's Mama~:" Stay strong Mama! Don't let him guilt trip you. It is NOT your fault he couldn't keep his dick in his ... [snip!] ... should just tell him what you found and tell him to leave. If you aren't going to be happy it will be best for your son anyway."

I'm just keeping my son on my mind. Gotta do whats right for him. When gets home, I'm definitely telling him to leave. Baby blues and then this smurf piled on top isn't helping me at all.. I just have no job, hes the breadwinner at the moment. I'm gonna be doing it all on my own if we split.. never would have thought it would end this way..

& thanks for the advice, ladies.

<blockquote><b>Quoting k α y l α:</b>" I'm just keeping my son on my mind. Gotta do whats right for him. When gets home, I'm definitely telling ... [snip!] ... be doing it all on my own if we split.. never would have thought it would end this way.. & thanks for the advice, ladies. "</blockquote>


If you are feeling depressed don't be afraid to ask for medication to help you. And you can always file for child support to help with stuff for baby. Doing it on your own will be tough but being cheated on and lied to is unacceptable.

Quoting ~Raylan's Mama~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting k α y l α:</b>" I'm just keeping my son on my mind. ... [snip!] ... child support to help with stuff for baby. Doing it on your own will be tough but being cheated on and lied to is unacceptable."

I'm going to talk to my dr when I go for my 6 week check-up in a couple weeks. My anxiety level is out the roof right now..

I'm trying not to dwell on everything to much though, but its hard.

<blockquote><b>Quoting k α y l α:</b>" I'm going to talk to my dr when I go for my 6 week check-up in a couple weeks. My anxiety level is out the roof right now.. I'm trying not to dwell on everything to much though, but its hard."</blockquote>

If it gets too bad don't be afraid to go to the hospital. They can give you meds too. Otherwise just make sure you are completely honest with your doctor. they are there to help you. &Just keep in mind all of this is what's best for you and your son.  

Quoting ~Raylan's Mama~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting k α y l α:</b>" I'm going to talk to my dr when I ... [snip!] ... honest with your doctor. they are there to help you. &Just keep in mind all of this is what's best for you and your son.  "

I know I have to do whats best for my son and myself. Even though I'm more hurt, pissed off and heartbroken than I have ever been in my life, I still love and care about him. We've been together nearly 5 years now and been thru so much smurf together.. Yet at the same time, It just like.. it was really just one sided and I was just being led along for whatever reason.. and I feel just so smurfing stupid.

<blockquote><b>Quoting k α y l α:</b>" I know I have to do whats best for my son and myself. Even though I'm more hurt, pissed off and heartbroken ... [snip!] ... like.. it was really just one sided and I was just being led along for whatever reason.. and I feel just so smurfing stupid."</blockquote>


I know what it's like to have to leave a relationship after so many years. It wasn't quite 5 yet, and luckily we didn't have a kid together BUT he was an abusive dicklick that I put up with way too long simply because I fell in love before anything bad happened and was stuck on it. (He wasn't physical, just every other kind there is, so it took me forever to "get it") Anyway, you just have to keep looking forward and never looking back. Don't feel stupid either...men can be deceitful smurfs more often than not. It happens to the best of us.

So how did he take it anyway?

I am so torn on what to do. Part of me wants to tell him to get his smurf and leave bc I'm just so hurt & betrayed.. But then again, he finally got a job, things between us were going good and we just had our first child. I truly considered him my best friend. Am I crazy for even thinking staying & working thru it? It all just depends on he is going to react.. or should I even bring it up & "let bygones be bygones"? I am so lost right now.

<blockquote><b>Quoting k α y l α:</b>" I am so torn on what to do. Part of me wants to tell him to get his smurf and leave bc I'm just so hurt ... [snip!] ... all just depends on he is going to react.. or should I even bring it up & "let bygones be bygones"? I am so lost right now."</blockquote>



Only you can truly decide where your relationship is headed. I personally wouldn't let him stay. Trust and honesty are of the up most importance in a relationship. If you don't have either of those the relationship isn't going to go anywhere. You will constantly wonder where he is, what he's doing, is he cheating again. He obviously wasn't honest or you wouldn't have found this stuff out the way you did.