Irregular

My cycle is very irregular. I have been irregular since 2008. My biggest fear through this is that I am unable to have children. I was once engaged a year and a half ago and tried for a few years to get pregnant. We obviously weren't able to conceive. I was told to lose weight to regulate my cycle, I've taken provera, and actually saw a tad bit of results. My boyfriend "knocked" my menstrual on (so everyone says), so I saw some hope for a future pregnancy.

As months go by, I've had two cycles IN THE SAME YEAR! That's a big deal for me because it could be at least a year before aunt flow comes sometimes. I want to have a child soon because I love kids and I'm 26 now. Time is flying with my age and I once had comfort knowing neither I or my best friend had children. She doesn't have the issues I have with my cycle, but we were still on the same page as childless. Wellllllll, now she's 5 weeks pregnant. I should be super excited and a part of me is, but most of me is sad. My boyfriend and I have been using condoms, so we aren't really trying for a lo, but I'm hoping that that will change soon. I'm still afraid that we may not conceive. Am I wrong for feeling sad and even a tad bit jealous?