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If hes for it why consider it? if he wants the baby then he should help "pay for" the baby. Every mom is scared when it comes to new babies. I think yoiur bein a little selfish

Quoting Kaitlynn Hoefert:" If hes for it why consider it? if he wants the baby then he should help "pay for" the baby. Every mom is scared when it comes to new babies. I think yoiur bein a little selfish"

He has no children to pay for, so he doesn't realize the actual cost.
& I'm not just not vocalizing this to him, he knows i'm feeling this way.

But thank you for calling me "selfish" for thinking about how this would affect my current children, exactly the support i was searching for ....   

I dont have much advise but I wanted to offer support and *hugs* I am sorry you are having to go through this decision. I think it is good you are considering all your options. I think talking to your mom could be helpful, or are you concerned that she will not understand because she is pro life?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kaitlynn Hoefert:</b>" If hes for it why consider it? if he wants the baby then he should help "pay for" the baby. Every mom is scared when it comes to new babies. I think yoiur bein a little selfish"</blockquote>


That was inappropriate.


OP, only you know what is best for you and your family. Just take sometime to really think about it and weigh your options. Good luck to you.

Quoting Kaitlynn Hoefert:"

This is a protected forum. You need to take that negativity out of here.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kaitlynn Hoefert:</b>" If hes for it why consider it? if he wants the baby then he should help "pay for" the baby. Every mom is scared when it comes to new babies. I think yoiur bein a little selfish"</blockquote>


That's rude.

OP, everyone has their own reasons for having one. I have never regretted having mine. But I do think you need to voice your concerns to your SO.

It's ok and normal to be scared, especially of an unplanned pregnancy. It might not be the most convenient timing, but it sounds like you've already made up your mind to keep the baby. You can do it! It will probably be hard, but you can make it work. And if SO is all for it, then you already have the beginning of a support system. Don't underestimate yourself.  

Quoting Wonderstruck ♥:" He has no children to pay for, so he doesn't realize the actual cost. & I'm not just not vocalizing ... [snip!] ... for thinking about how this would affect my current children, exactly the support i was searching for ....   "

Dont listen to that ass. You are not being selfish at all! You are being very responsible by weighing your options and considering how your decision will affect your and your family's future either way you decide

I'm sorry you're going through this   If it's his first I can understand why he wants it, and for you, why you don't.
There is a LOT to consider when having a baby, you know. Appeasing his feelings and having the baby for him won't change your financial situation.
As far as regretting it, I think if YOU are 100% set on it, then you won't regret it, because you will know what you did is best.

I hope you can decide, as peacefully as possible. Talk it out with SO, let him know where you're at <3

My mom is pro life but she's also vocalized telling me not to have anymore kids.
& i have vocalized this to SO he knows i feel this way - and he's trying to convince me we could do it , etc etc.

I just feel completely confused and at a loss.
I want the baby, because i know how it feels to be a mom, it's amazing - but at the same time i don't.. i feel like strictly because im worried of what people will say and how we'll afford it.

I think you should make a list of pros and cons. You know what it costs for a child, and if you're sure of your decision, you probably won't regret it later.
Do not listen to the person who said you were being selfish. It is your body, and you have the right to decide what happens to it.

Think about what's best for you, and your family. Only you can know what the right decision is.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

Quoting ♥Love♥:" Dont listen to that ass. You are not being selfish at all! You are being very responsible by weighing ... [snip!] ... by weighing your options and considering how your decision will affect your and your family's future either way you decide"

Thank you <3

In my opinion, I wouldn't worry how anyone will react. It's not your parents or any of your exes business. It is up to you and your SO. Don't feel guilty for considering, but only you know what is right.

If you worry you will regret it, don't do it.

I have been in your position. While Im pro choice I always knew I couldn't personally have an abortion. Then when I got pregnant It was such a huge shock and I started to consider it. I had just lost my job and even though SO worked and could afford to take care of all three of us I just kept thinking "we can't do this" in the end I decided the emotional and mental effect an abortion would have on me was too much and that it would break SOs heart because he was so excited about the baby. That was my choice but every situation is different and I didn't have kids to think about. Do what you think is best for you and your children. Good luck with what ever you choose.