It really seems like your mind is stuck in a fantasy world with this guy. From the outside looking in, he really doesn't seem like such a great guy. I mean, he wouldn't kick a drug habit for his family. He is using you, even if its just emotionally.
He doesn't sound like a good person to get involved with right now . Let him get some distance from his past, like enough that a message from his ex is teported as a restraining order violation and that's it... You don't need to invite that into your life anymore than it already is. I get that you have known him forever, but he doesn't sound healthy
<blockquote><b>Quoting Alyssa's mommy [EBFT]:</b>" He is not in any way shape or form healthy (mentally/emotionally/physically) but I'm one of those women ... [snip!] ... and highly unlikely to work but a small part in me wants to help 'fix him' and take hin away from all that smurf. Ughhh <"</blockquote>
I get that, I've wasted years with guys thinking they were goin to change... He has to make the choice for himself to cut her out of his life. Just like if you had a girlfriend who was being abused, you can tell them they need to get out and cut their abuser out of their lives completely, but until they start taking all the actions themselves, you can't do much more... And since you helped stop the physical abuse already, you've done way more than is called for. Good for you for standing up for him then, now you need to stand up for yourself. Good luck!