re: Quote from a bitter semi-single mother.

Quoting Red Bottom:" Looking through your posts, you need to leave him for good and get help. You're addicted to him like ... [snip!] ... and he treats you like a door mat. Do you want your daughter ending up in a relationship like yours and feeling like you do?"

I know your right. I feel like Im doing the same thing my mom did. He was always a great dad and I'm glad he was in my life but he treats my mom horribly. Every time he left she never gave up on him and he always came back and tried to make things work. But she let him cheat on her, get with other women and come back. If my BD got with someone else and I knew about it, that would be the end.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:</b>" Not always. We've been together off and on for 6 years. He used to really care but sometime around when ... [snip!] ... daughter, he says maybe then I wont hear from him for the rest of the day. So, yea, he's become quite the piece of smurf lately."</blockquote>




You said "his old friends", so he was like this before, right?

Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:</b>" Not always. We've been together off ... [snip!] ... you like smurf? He doesn't take care of his own kid or you, yet you continue to stay while he gets high and plays video games."

Its been the past few months. We broke up for all of January and it was really hard for me. I had issues and I'm still dealing with some of them.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:</b>" I know your right. I feel like Im doing the same thing my mom did. He was always a great dad and I'm ... [snip!] ... cheat on her, get with other women and come back. If my BD got with someone else and I knew about it, that would be the end."</blockquote>




So not caring about you. Not caring about his child. Doing drugs. All that is okay?

But him having sex with someone is where you draw the line?

I mean if these are your standards, you have a sea of men who'd line up to be with you.

Don't you think your mom doing that has something to do with that? You want to pass those standards down to your daughter?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:</b>" Its been the past few months. We broke up for all of January and it was really hard for me. I had issues and I'm still dealing with some of them."</blockquote>




What issues do you have that he didn't create?

Are they YOUR issues or are they things that he has convinced you are issues? Does he constantly tell you what's wrong with you and how your relationship problems are all your fault, so he doesn't have to answer to being a smurf boyfriend, smurf father, and a pot head?

Let me guess.

He says you're lazy
Controlling
Too sensitive
You another him

Quoting S U Z I E:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:</b>" Not always. We've been together off ... [snip!] ... become quite the piece of smurf lately."</blockquote> You said "his old friends", so he was like this before, right?"

When we were kids, 14-16. We dropped most of our friends when I got pregnant at 17 because of all the drugs, drinking, stealing and things we agreed we didnt want to be around anymore. But now he's falling back into it at 20.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:</b>" When we were kids, 14-16. We dropped most of our friends when I got pregnant at 17 because of all the ... [snip!] ... the drugs, drinking, stealing and things we agreed we didnt want to be around anymore. But now he's falling back into it at 20."</blockquote>




You mean the weed he still smokes? You know that the police can take your daughter from you if they find weed in the house with her in it. Better hope no one ever smells his weed on her. Do you want your daughter being raised around drugs? Does his dealer know where you and your daughter live? He's willing to risk you and his daughter for weed. And you're willing to risk it to by continuing to be with him.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:</b>" Not always. We've been together off and on for 6 years. He used to really care but sometime around when ... [snip!] ... daughter, he says maybe then I wont hear from him for the rest of the day. So, yea, he's become quite the piece of smurf lately."</blockquote>



I don't know if its just me bug common sense would tell me to not keep having kids with him and to leave him and file for child support.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:</b>" When we were kids, 14-16. We dropped most of our friends when I got pregnant at 17 because of all the ... [snip!] ... the drugs, drinking, stealing and things we agreed we didnt want to be around anymore. But now he's falling back into it at 20."</blockquote>




You're 18 with a child and one on the way. Whether or not he grows up, you need to. You are a mother now and you don't have the right to sit on the sidelines and wait for him to change while you expose the kids to this crap....

Quoting S U Z I E:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:</b>" When we were kids, 14-16. We dropped ... [snip!] ... now and you don't have the right to sit on the sidelines and wait for him to change while you expose the kids to this crap...."

Im 20. But I'm doing everything I have to for our daughter. I tried leaving him before and I was miserably depressed. So, dealing with his bs, even though it makes me angry, is all I feel I can do right now to stay mostly sane. Atleast this way Maia gets to see him and I don't feel completely hopeless. I posted this hoping to listen to others problems and maybe joke about loser dads. lol

Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:" Im 20. But I'm doing everything I have to for our daughter. I tried leaving him before and I was miserably ... [snip!] ... and I don't feel completely hopeless. I posted this hoping to listen to others problems and maybe joke about loser dads. lol"

DS has a loser as sperm donor who basically is exactly as your described your bf. Guess what. I wasn't stupid enough to stay with him because it kept me "sane" Because truly. You're miserable with him otherwise you wouldn't bitch about it. You will get over the depression of being without him. You don't need a loser to be happy. You're 20. Time to independent and strong for your kids.

You really want your children to see you in such a horrible relationship? And then one day end up in the same situation because they saw mommy do it and that's normal to them. Sad.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:</b>" Im 20. But I'm doing everything I have to for our daughter. I tried leaving him before and I was miserably ... [snip!] ... and I don't feel completely hopeless. I posted this hoping to listen to others problems and maybe joke about loser dads. lol"</blockquote>




Allowing yourself to be addicted to him is not doing everything you can for your daughter. You're reaching her hot to become you. Teaching her to be depressed over a man who treats her like shot is not helping her. He will be her father whether you're with him or not. But it looks like even though he loves with his daughter, he doesn't care to be her father.