Freaking out a little.

Hello.. im not sure if anyone even remembers me from last year... i was so excited to be having a baby finally after 7 years... and then my worst fear happened. he was in destress with no water, he wasnt growing anymore at 27 weeks and he was only 1 pound... he was born csection and lived for 3 hours on his own, without even oxygen (thanks to the crapy hosp that was supposed to be equipped for babies like mine) but we're trying to get past that now... and we have recently found out we conceived again, but now im facing the freak out factor.

I'm only 5 weeks along... there is so much time to wait, im an emotional traumatized mess... and if it werent for my husband and such a strong relationship... I wouldnt be able to do any of this. I'm having such terrible trouble with handling all of the emotions that are flooding me right now... and im not sure if i can handle another loss like that. My angel's name was Alexander Michael and he was the most precious little baby I had ever seen... *tear*

Just calm down and think happy thoughts. I'm kinda going through the same thing with this pregnancy.. I carried my son til 37 weeks, had him, and was with him for six hours. I knew beforehand he wasn't going to make it, I found out at my 20 week ultrasound. When I found out I was pregnant again (about two and a half years later), I was freaking out. It's like every appointment I went to, I was just waiting to get bad news. I'm 22 weeks pregnant now and at my 20 week ultrasound I just about had a panic attack, I thought for sure they were going to tell me the same thing is happening with this baby that happened to my last one. I even had the same nurse doing the ultrasound that gave me the bad news last time.. it was scary. But as far as they can tell, my baby girl's as healthy as can be. Just try to stay calm, you don't need to stress, and stay positive! Do everything you can to keep yourself and that baby healthy. I hope it all works out for you! 

Quoting LayLu:" Just calm down and think happy thoughts. I'm kinda going through the same thing with this pregnancy.. ... [snip!] ... to stress, and stay positive! Do everything you can to keep yourself and that baby healthy. I hope it all works out for you! "

thank you.. i need to hear things like this. success stories. i found out we were losing ours during a mid pregnancy sonogram to.. but we were at 25 weeks, because he was so small. I'm so glad to hear your newest expectation is doing so well. i hope so hard that ours will be okay too

Quoting Heather&EJ+1:" thank you.. i need to hear things like this. success stories. i found out we were losing ours during ... [snip!] ... he was so small. I'm so glad to hear your newest expectation is doing so well. i hope so hard that ours will be okay too"

How long has it been since your last pregnancy? And thank you, I'm so excited! Ever since I had my boy I've had this hole in my heart that needed to be filled. Of course he'll always have his own special place in my heart, but knowing that I'll have my daughter soon enough to care for just makes me so excited. I'm sure everything will be okay for you this time around. Did you have genetic testing and stuff to see what caused the problems? I got every test possible done to make sure it wasn't something in my genes that caused it.. they said it was just a fluke (which is hard to hear, it makes you wonder, "Why me..?") but so far everything looks good with this one. Of course I'm still going to be paranoid until I have her though..

Quoting LayLu:" How long has it been since your last pregnancy? And thank you, I'm so excited! Ever since I had my boy ... [snip!] ... "Why me..?") but so far everything looks good with this one. Of course I'm still going to be paranoid until I have her though.."

they told me the same thing, that it was one of those things i couldnt have caused it was just that his growth stopped... it was something wrong with his placenta. They did testing but never called me on it.. and I was so grief stricken I didnt do much about it. I had a cesarean may 29th last year to have him, so it was almost a year before we conceived again. They did tell me there was nothing I could have done that would have caused that severe of a growth restriction. I mean.. i was sick the whole pregnancy, ended up in the hospital for IVs because i couldnt hold anything down even through my second trimester.. the whole pregnancy I just felt like I was going to die right along with him... So far so good with this one, havent gotten sick once and they estimate im around 5 wks.. .so we will see...

Quoting Heather&EJ+1:" they told me the same thing, that it was one of those things i couldnt have caused it was just that ... [snip!] ... along with him... So far so good with this one, havent gotten sick once and they estimate im around 5 wks.. .so we will see..."

Yeah, it took me a year to go back to the hospital to read the results and have all of his paperwork released to me. It was hard, but they told me the same.. I didn't do anything wrong, it was nothing in my genes, it was just something that happened. It bothered me so much because I knew people who smoked through their entire pregnancy, who didn't exercise, who drank nothing but soda, who drank, and had perfectly healthy babies.. and I'd wonder why I did everything right and everything went so wrong. But hopefully this time everything goes smoothly for the both of us. It's good that so far it's a completely different experience for you (as far as keeping food down and stuff goes), maybe it'll help you to think more positive.

Quoting LayLu:" Yeah, it took me a year to go back to the hospital to read the results and have all of his paperwork ... [snip!] ... different experience for you (as far as keeping food down and stuff goes), maybe it'll help you to think more positive."

haha i hope so   thank you! i feel a little better for now, actually

Quoting Heather&EJ+1:" haha i hope so   thank you! i feel a little better for now, actually"

No problem! 

I lost my first daughter at 22 weeks 3 days in 2008.
Got pregnant with my now two year old daughter in 2010, and was a wreck the entire pregnancy. Went to the hospital at least 6 times between 6 and 35 weeks because I lived in constant fear.
She was born healthy at 39 weeks and is a smart, happy, sassy little girl.
I am almost 28 weeks pregnant with my third daughter and it has been somewhat easier. She is great so far. Although Ive been sick this pregnancy with HG, and required hospitalization for it which isn't fun. Didnt have that issue with other pregnancies.
Best of luck.

Hi! I lost my daughter this past Mother's Day (may 13th 2012) at 39 weeks. Worst thing I have ever been thru. I am also pregnant...almost 19 weeks and also a nervous wreck! It seems some days are better than others. I know when I was really early on I was convinced I was going to miscarry. Every appt. I have I expect not to hear a heartbeat. Now I am finally starting to get a little more excited, but it's scary to get excited. I am having a level 2 u/s tomorrow so I am hoping that will ease my anxiety.
I am glad all of us angel mommys can be there for each other during these next pregnancies. My loss was also a "fluke", but I catch myself thinking "flukes happen and it happened to MY baby, so why wouldn't it happen again to MY baby?" Have to stop those thoughts! I hope we can all help each other feel confident and not so scared and alone! Hoping your anxiety lets up a little. Try to relax. I know easier said than done! xoxoxox