re: MIL calls it slut disease?!!
posted 18th Feb
In case anyone's still watching this topic, I conversed with friends and DH yesterday. We decided that these terms are applicable based on how one conducts themselves, numbers, and as my DH put it, the monetary value of vagina in regards to supply and demand.
To sum up my q and a, if you behave in a manner where you sleep with multiple people to receive things- goods, money, drugs, whathaveyou (In order to receive these things, not because you want some sort of relationship) you have become a whore and in doing so, these terms do apply. Conducting yourself in such a manner that you bring your sexual escapades around your kids, or drop your kids completely to pursue the sex=Terms applicable. They all agreed unanimously if you don't know how many people you have been with, applicable,if you have a few people you don't even remember sleeping with, applicable.
As for supply and demand, how people view your sexual actions is in direct response to how many guys and gals are in the area. If people wonder who's turn it is next, the terms are applicable. If that makes sense.
The funny thing is that sooooo many people use these terms. You'd think on a forum where we are hidden by our ambiguous Internet personas that people would be more willing to fess up to their views on these terms, but I guess not! Society has definitely shifted in their overall beliefs in regards to these things, ie through 40+ years of women's lib, sexuality and sexual prowess has come to mean power. So numbers by themselves are not necessarily viewed as a reason alone anymore to use any of these terms to define a woman, or a man. Because it really can go both ways.
I just find it interesting that the majority of people have used these terms at some point in their lives, because there will be and have been people who cross our paths that fit our personal definitions, yet when called on it, no one wants to admit what they view as being the boundaries for such comments. People would rather deny that it exists! Crazy.
One of my closest friends began getting skanky in HS at 16 yrs. Bragged to me she had slept with two guys in one night, started going to a teen dance club to hook up as much as possible. I looked her right in the eyes and told her that I loved her, but she was debasing her value and acting like a slut. She thanked me. Literally thanked me. To this day she still mentions it from time to time, says it was one of the best slaps in the face she had ever received, and that she doesn't even know where she would be right now if I hadn't had the decency to tell her that her actions were perhaps leading her down a path shed rather not travel.
She is now married, and has been with the same guy since she was 18 or 19.
I think honesty is best.
The crazy ex? I don't know if anyone ever told her. I do t think she would have listened anyway, but regardless, she is now infamous throughout 2 or 3 cities in Alaska for skanking. It's got to the point that pretty much any low life you met in the area had been with her.
My best friends ex boyfriend cheated on my BFF with her while crazy ex was with my DH, and we joke that BFF and I are like family because we all swapped that crap. Ex slept with all DHs groomsmen, all her "friends" spouses and boyfriends including my ex husband.
Point being, we all have our different ideas regarding the definition of these terms . All my friends talk about it openly. But face to face, I don't think anyone ever had the gumption to tell hex honestly what people thought of her, and I think that's sad.
Why? Because if you truly cared about someone, you'd want them to know how they were hurting themselves, their self image, there prospective relationships, and you'd want them to know who their true friends are- friends who would be there to help rather than gossip and deny the truth when face to face.
I will probably get a bunch of hate if anyone is still reading this. But I am a real person, and I do not throw stones without reason, ever. I detest people who gossip about their friends behind their backs and never have the decency to give the friend a clue.
OT, however? Even though having more partners definitely increases your chance to get cervical cancer, there are many other things that further increase the risks, and it should never be referred to as skank disease. Lot of healthy, monogamous, and discretionary women will contract CC, and it definitely should not have any bearing on how society views them.
Wish I could open up that can of worms with my MIL because I was pretty offended when she made her comments on the phone the other day.
posted 19th Feb
Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" Whore = person who is paid for sexual acts. Your MIL is certifiably whacked."
This. Wow.... I dont know if I could talk to someone that talks like that.
HPV is not a slut disease. A slut... I hate that word. IF I had to call anyone a slut, would be one that slept around while in a relationship and it wasn't an open relationship scenario. I.E. Cheating.
A whore... you get paid for sex.
But no one should be looked down on for any number of men or women they sleep with. Whether they marry the one they lose their virginity to or sleep with 200... as long as its consenting and doesnt hurt anyone, who cares? Sex should be fun. So have fun with 1 person, or 5, or 100. It makes NO DIFFERENCE on a persons character if they dont cheat and sleep around for fun. Seriously. That doesn't make them a skank or whore, and smurf you if you say otherwise.
posted 19th Feb
Quoting Safka9973:" In case anyone's still watching this topic, I conversed with friends and DH yesterday. We decided that ... [snip!] ... open up that can of worms with my MIL because I was pretty offended when she made her comments on the phone the other day."
I skimmed this so I may have missed parts, but I don't think we're (or at least I'm) afraid to fess up. lol On the other thread that was triggered by this one, I said what I thought. Which is that while people know what the terms
actually mean, they tend to use those terms for a female who they dislike for whatever reason, usually being an ex of their SO/DH. Petty, but true IMO. However, you said that you called your best friend a skank so maybe I'm wrong. I have a couple of friends who have had many partners and I don't call them a slut. It's their vagina, I don't care what they do with it. I don't think that makes me a bad friend. They know what they are doing, they don't need me to remind or "save" them.