terminating parental rights

Ok ladies,
My ex-husband is a piece of work. He just recently got booted out of the Army because he put his second wife in the hospital. I had to go to child support enforcement to get him to pay me child support while he was in the military. In the past 2 years he has seen LO twice. He does not call or send cards. I recently found out he was in town twice this year for two weeks at a time and never called to see LO and one of the times was just recently before Christmas. He got booted out December 3rd and did not tell me. And then left the state to go live with his mother a couple days before Christmas.

I tried to terminate his rights last year but every lawyer I saw told me I had shaky grounds for termination. It had to be one year of no contact with us for it to be a sure thing and that it would be better if me and SO were married. But now that he is out of the military and has left the state with no contact do you think that would count as abandonment especially since I have received no support since December? And he is about $1700 behind in support. I know you ladies are not experts but I wanted some input from other mothers who have done this and how they did it. Thanks in advance sorry this is so out of order I am scatter brained right now.

Has it been a year without contact?

$1700 behind in child support is nothing.

In most states and provinces, you need to be married and that person needs to be willing to adopt the child before the rights of the biological parent could be terminated.

I'm confused why he needed to tell you he is no longer in the army?

As far as abandonment goes, which is what you are trying to go for, it is 6-12 months of non-contact (no phone calls, visits, etc.) before you can use it.

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" $1700 behind in child support is nothing. In most states and provinces, you need to be married and that ... [snip!] ... which is what you are trying to go for, it is 6-12 months of non-contact (no phone calls, visits, etc.) before you can use it."

all of this!!! I say you probably won't get it, unless he willingly gives it up.

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" I'm confused why he needed to tell you he is no longer in the army? "

I'd assume for insurance purposes for the child.

Quoting Piecey.:" I'd assume for insurance purposes for the child."

Makes sense.

<blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" $1700 behind in child support is nothing. In most states and provinces, you need to be married and that ... [snip!] ... which is what you are trying to go for, it is 6-12 months of non-contact (no phone calls, visits, etc.) before you can use it."</blockquote>




Because of his child's medical insurance. He did not have any for like a month because I was clueless until i finally got a letter in the mail telling me my child was no longer covered. It would have been nice to know. He has not called since June and that phone call had nothing to do with LO it was about his court date he was missing for CS. So I dont know if that counts.

Quoting Pistol Amber:" <blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" $1700 behind in child support is nothing. ... [snip!] ... and that phone call had nothing to do with LO it was about his court date he was missing for CS. So I dont know if that counts."

That might be enough.

But, unless you and your boyfriend get married, you don't have much of a case.

<blockquote><b>Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:</b>" all of this!!! I say you probably won't get it, unless he willingly gives it up. "</blockquote>




This sucks. He wont willingly give him up because...are you ready for this. He has our sons name tattooed on his arm. That is why.

<blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" That might be enough. But, unless you and your boyfriend get married, you don't have much of a case."</blockquote>




Well are going to get married eventually. We have been together for two years. We just have both been divorced so we are not ready for marriage yet.

Quoting Pistol Amber:" <blockquote><b>Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:</b>" all of this!!! I say you probably won't get ... [snip!] ... sucks. He wont willingly give him up because...are you ready for this. He has our sons name tattooed on his arm. That is why."

Wow   That is horrible.

Quoting Pistol Amber:" <blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" That might be enough. But, unless you ... [snip!] ... married eventually. We have been together for two years. We just have both been divorced so we are not ready for marriage yet."

Then you'll have to wait....

If you aren't ready for marriage, why would you want him to adopt your child?

Thanks ladies. It was not the answer I was hoping for but I did not want to waste more money on lawyers fees if I did not need to. Now if I have to I will wait for May because that was his last contact with our son. It really hurts to have to look at my son's face when he asks why his dad does not love him. I wish I could take that away for him. I just simply remind him of all of the people in his life that love him very much so he remembers how special he is.

Quoting Pistol Amber:" Thanks ladies. It was not the answer I was hoping for but I did not want to waste more money on lawyers ... [snip!] ... for him. I just simply remind him of all of the people in his life that love him very much so he remembers how special he is."

It can't just be the abandonment....there needs to be a spouse willing to step in an adopt.

Most states and provinces won't bastardize a child without a lot of cause to do so.

<blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" Then you'll have to wait.... If you aren't ready for marriage, why would you want him to adopt your child?"</blockquote>




I did not say I wanted him to adopt my son. I just dont want that abusive monster to have any rights to him. He made it obvious he does not care about him.

I want to terminate his rights and give LO my last name.