re: Poof!

Quoting Kyliesaurus♥Roaaaar:" This makes me so sad for you and mad at him. What a smurfing dick. You could do SOOO much better. You ... [snip!] ... only your job to clean?? Tell his lazy ass to do some damn house work too!! You were a lot more calm than I would of been."

I've asked him to help me clean. He told me that I have 3 hours every day with no kids before I have to go to work, so I really have no reason to need help. That it's not fair to him to have to go to work all day, come home and keep the kids AND clean the house.

Quoting Minion:" I've asked him to help me clean. He told me that I have 3 hours every day with no kids before I have ... [snip!] ... reason to need help. That it's not fair to him to have to go to work all day, come home and keep the kids AND clean the house."

But if you're cleaning it to spotless before you leave, he should be KEEPING it to the same standards nightly. Not leaving it a mess for you to pick up the next day.

And using your kids in your fight was just low.

1. He can't stop you from spending time with your daughter. He isn't your dad. You don't owe him a clean house.
2. I would have dumped a bucket of ice water on the guy or something and there is no way I would have cleaned that up. I would have left and taken the kids with me. If he loves you, he wouldn't have done that.

It sounds like he sees you as a maid rather than a fiance or wife. That is NOT the kind of man I would want to be marrying.

Quoting Asher's mommy [Expecting :" Please... PLEASE, do not clean that up. What he did was abusive. You don't treat people like that. I ... [snip!] ... a little easier. What he did is not love, I'm sorry, but it was hateful to the core. You REALLY don't deserve that at all. "

I do and do and do for him to try to make his life easier. I do stuff for him all the time. A lot of mornings I will get DS AND DD ready for school for him when SO asks me when he has an upset stomach (SO has some gastrointestinal issues that make his stomach upset a lot). Normally he gets DS ready and takes him to the bus because it's on SO's route to work. I always get DD ready for her preschool.

Damn woman, your man should NOT be treating you like that, even if he does work full time. Since you're working full time, too, and you do housework, he should get off his lazy ass and do some, too. It's the 21st century.

Please dont clean that up, or hes going to think that emotional abuse like that is ok if it get him what hes wants in the end.
I know your emotions are heightened at the moment but please understand that he is the one in the wrong here not you, and also is that behavior and the way he is treating you is not something you want your daughter growing thinking is ok. All I can say is what would you tell uour daughter if she came to you and said her SO was treating her like that. You deserve better

Quoting Minion:" I've started crying again over all your responses. I was so worried I was upset over nothing. I had started ... [snip!] ... relationship. I left him one time already for smurf like this, but nothing this extreme. I thought he was going to change.  "

I barely have the energy to clean, because I'll admit, I'm pretty lazy. I have 2 girls that I would rather spend time with. I mean, my house isn't dirty, its just not picked up all the time, so you find toys here and there. When my DH comes home, he never gets upset at the house being a lil messy. Normally, if he sees I've cleaned up, he tells me I'm a good wifey, and gives me extra praises. I could never imagine him being angry like that with me, and neither should you.
And unfortunately, the other ladies are right. It doesn't get better. It may look like it for a while. But its really just dormant until the next time, and then it has had time to build, and the punishment is worse. Get out while you still can. I read your comments and posts alot, and even though I don't know you personally, you're always so sweet and nice. Don't put up with this smurf.

Quoting Minion:" I do and do and do for him to try to make his life easier. I do stuff for him all the time. A lot of ... [snip!] ... Normally he gets DS ready and takes him to the bus because it's on SO's route to work. I always get DD ready for her preschool."

Ya know, I see a lot of posts on here that make me go "Awwhhh heeeelllll nah, gurl!"

But this made me genuinely sad. Like... I don't know you personally, but I see you on here all the time and I feel like you're a good person and you do NOT deserve to be treated that way. Please don't even think about marrying him unless he commits to getting some SERIOUS therapy. You're worth a lot more than that.

I just about smurfing cried reading through this all.

my ex was exactly like this. it escalated to physical abuse before I finally left him.

please don't marry this guy. you're always going to be waiting for him to change.

What an smurf. If my husband ever did some smurf like that to me there would be hell to pay. That's just smurfing childish. I hope you are making as much noise as you can while attempting to clean that smurf. What kind of a man does that? Not a good one that's for sure! I'm sorry Hun.

Quoting flossy (11wks with #4):" Please dont clean that up, or hes going to think that emotional abuse like that is ok if it get him what ... [snip!] ... can say is what would you tell uour daughter if she came to you and said her SO was treating her like that. You deserve better"

I'd go batsmurf crazy and lock DD in her room to prevent her from going back to a guy who would treat her like that.

I'm sitting here thinking: SO just bought me a brand new car with his own credit. And I have my iPhone on his plan. If I leave him how would that work out? I don't want to lose my car or my phone. I don't have any backups.

Quoting Minion:" I'd go batsmurf crazy and lock DD in her room to prevent her from going back to a guy who would treat ... [snip!] ... iPhone on his plan. If I leave him how would that work out? I don't want to lose my car or my phone. I don't have any backups."

People make it work. Is public transportation an option? Can you afford a prepaid phone for the time being?

Quoting Minion:" I've asked him to help me clean. He told me that I have 3 hours every day with no kids before I have ... [snip!] ... reason to need help. That it's not fair to him to have to go to work all day, come home and keep the kids AND clean the house."

I mean you said usually you do clean so it shouldn't be that hard for him to just pick up a little bit before you get home or to help out more when you don't feel good...I SUCK hardcore at keeping the house organized and i'm a SAHM! My SO just picks on me about it.. My heart just breaks for you. No one should be talked to the way he talked to you... And it's not even like you were freaking out on him (like i would of been)... I'm sorry you've had to deal with that and had to deal with that crap all day long today

Quoting Gizmo ♥ Bry:" I barely have the energy to clean, because I'll admit, I'm pretty lazy. I have 2 girls that I would ... [snip!] ... and posts alot, and even though I don't know you personally, you're always so sweet and nice. Don't put up with this smurf. "

I never get praises. Ever. I would love to be acknowledged, but it never happens. I RARELY get a hug and kiss. I have to ask for them and about 50% of the time I get turned down because he's not in the mood. He's never been a touchy-feely person.

And thank you.   I try to be as nice as I can be.