Non-existent father

My son's father is not exactly the best role model, (been to jail, lots of charges, grew up in the ghetto and is into drugs) He's never been around, in fact he's only seen his son maybe 5 times. He's been messaging me nonstop over seeing me and my son but I've been ignoring him. Should I go after custody and get child support or should I think he doesn't exist? I'm worried if I go after custody he will fight for visitation but I'd rather him just not be around at all. My son doesn't need that influence in his life. Anyone been in the same situation or advice ?

If he is attempting to see you guys I would go to court and get something in writing to protect your little guy. Maybe supervised visitation if he fights it.

Quoting mmmc15:" If he is attempting to see you guys I would go to court and get something in writing to protect your little guy. Maybe supervised visitation if he fights it. "

I'm thinking of doing it but he hasnt messaged me in around 2 weeks now so hopefully he just stays away, thanks !

I seriously sometimes forget my son has a father until someone mentions him or asks about him. BD has met my son one time when he was 8 months old. I have a very similar situation, my son's dad is someone I do not feel would be a good influence. He has a history of drug using and selling and has also has been to jail. Not to say that I don't believe in change because I certainly do, I myself have changed a lot in this lifetime! But here's my thing, if BD is doing "good" and wants to be in DS's life then he's gonna work for it. He's gotta be the one to take initiative and prove that he is going to be a positive role model. I have no time or energy for people who want to bring me down or manipulate me in any way and that's why I haven't gone out of my way to have my son know his father. So, IMO and for me personally I am just going on about my business creating a happy and healthy life for my son and I and I am continuing to believe that BD is a non existent father. Because in reality that's all he's ever proven himself to be. Good luck to you. I know this crap can be so hard to deal with. I constantly wonder about it and think it over. But at the end of the day when I realize everyone in my life is telling me I'm making the right choice, and I see my son doing well I don't regret it for a minute.

Quoting ItsEasyIfYouTry:" I seriously sometimes forget my son has a father until someone mentions him or asks about him. BD has ... [snip!] ... everyone in my life is telling me I'm making the right choice, and I see my son doing well I don't regret it for a minute."

How long has it been he has tried to make contact? In Wyoming, if he goes more then a yr without any attempts with contact you can have rights dissolved through a fairly easy process. Is he on the birth certificate or ever been legally ruled the father. I only ask because if he has then he can come back at any time and have the right to see your LO. I had a similar situation with mt oldest's dad. Meth addict, physically and emotionally abusive. Basically a total smurf. He would randomly call and want to see my DH. After my DH got married we went through a contested adoption so he would have zero rights to her if he ever shows his face again. I always think that it is best to have something in writing form the courts just in case. You never know what these guys are gonna do.

Quoting mmmc15:" How long has it been he has tried to make contact? In Wyoming, if he goes more then a yr without any ... [snip!] ... think that it is best to have something in writing form the courts just in case. You never know what these guys are gonna do."

I don't think that law applies here, I live in Ontario, Canada and I'm pretty sure they have a say but I might look into it. My BD is not on the birth certificate and has never really contributed towards my LO so I don't know what the courts would say about it. It would be a long process for him to try and get custody I know that much. I know that once I'm married if it's fine with my hubby he could adopt my son that way he's not really all that attached to my BD anymore. My bf atm is more of a father than my BD has ever been.

Quoting xpaige:" I don't think that law applies here, I live in Ontario, Canada and I'm pretty sure they have a say but ... [snip!] ... my son that way he's not really all that attached to my BD anymore. My bf atm is more of a father than my BD has ever been."

I know how that goes. My DH has been in my daughter's life since she was 2.5 and she has little to no memory of her bio father. Which is fine with me. If he is not on the birth certificate it will prob be easier if you need to take action. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Quoting mmmc15:" I know how that goes. My DH has been in my daughter's life since she was 2.5 and she has little to no ... [snip!] ... is not on the birth certificate it will prob be easier if you need to take action. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. "

Thanks ! I'm hoping this turns out good at the end of the day