Quoting Pretty Mama':" This post was pointless, I did feel upset - I can't help that I did, I'm over it though. I'm not a materialistic ... [snip!] ... a materialistic person at all .. asking compleate strangers who don't know me, or my husband etc was pointless. End of thread. "
You may not be able to help how you felt, but you can change how you feel going forward. You have two options that will change it - you either set down & make a list of all the various expectations you have for all these things & give it to him OR you change what you expect. Anything else IS game playing, whether you choose to acknowledge that or not. Expecting him to be "like your dad" isn't fair & expecting that he just knows how you feel about it also isn't fair.
So the list - make one, tell him "On Mother's Day I would like you to do the following & TELL HIM, specifically". Same goes or any other thing where he hasn't met the mark. Tell him it is HOW you feel loved...to be thought of for these days. It is VALID to want to be pampered a little & thought of. IN fact I would highly recommend you read The Five Love Languages
and see if he will read it too. It is very likely that your primary love languages may be GIFTS & if so, that IS okay - it really is. It just means that as a couple you both need to understand that & work with it. There is also a book about the 5 love languages of children & that is an awesome read as well.
Your only other option to NOT having disappointment on these days is to expect nothing from him & it doesn't seem to me like that is what will make *you* happy. It works fine for me & many others, but gifts are probably last on my list of what makes me feel loved. That doesn't make me better person or anything, it just means my personality is different. My primary one for sure is verbal & Dh stinks at it - so it is constant work for us. ;)